Hey there, ,

Last week a client said something like '...if only I was more organized, or maybe I just need more structure... everything would work.'

Have you ever thought this?

Me too.

And when this client said this to me all I could think was 'huh.' because really? She's among the MOST organized and structured of my clients (and people in general) all the way around.

Knowing this about her, when she shared yesterday that she thought she needed MORE organization and MORE structure, I as a coach had to pause and ask 'What's this REALLY about?'

And you know what it's really about?

It's about control.

Y'all.

Sometimes life in the business world, as an entrepreneur, as a parent, as a person FEELS all. over. the. place.

Sometimes life is chaotic and in that chaos we aren't as productive as we might be at other times.

As people, often our natural reaction to this feeling of chaos 'I need to get organized' and 'I need to find a new structure.'

We want to find a way to make the feeling of chaos GO AWAY (because everything should be lined up in neat predictable rows all the time, right? No? Maybe it's me??).

And we think that if only we were more organized and more structured it would be fixed.

Seems totally logical, right?

But.

(and this is the MOST wild part to me...)

**The more we try to CONTROL chaos, the more chaos we create.** (esp. when the chaos is a FEELING more than an actual reality, which is MOST of the time)

Friends.

ADDING structure and organization on TOP of you're already just fine and working well structure and organization will not make you FEEL differently.

In fact, it might just make you feel MORE frustrated - because you're trying to control a feeling, and that's not how feelings work (which I hate, but is also true).

MORE structure and organization eventually kills off all your flexibility - and didn't you want that flex, wasn't that part of the reason you started a business to begin with?

Much like my client yesterday - you've probably TRIED to add more structure and organization... and you didn't like it. It felt constricting and like you were always coming up short because you couldn't meet all of the rules you put on your day already...

So.

What the heck do we do with this?

Couple things...

First, if you find yourself thinking 'Gah, if only I could reorganize everything and get my shit together, things would work...' pause before you start from scratch.

In that pause, ask: Is this about structure or about control? (or maybe some of both) Am I trying to use structure to control things that I can't control?

Second, take a look at the ways you currently organize and structure. Ask: what's working? And then resist the urge to reinvent what's not actually broken.

Third, check in with yourself - what's feeling chaotic, and why? Is the chaos actually possible to control, or is it just the nature of whatever the thing is? (for example, life with a tween feels like chaos to me, but probably this is just the nature of tweens, even though I don't like that answer AT ALL :)).

Maybe you don't need to reinvent anything.

Maybe it's just time to allow that chaos is a part of what happens sometimes, and that we're still okay, even when it's all a little crazy.

Maybe it's okay to feel a little chaos and not make it mean there's something wrong with us, our businesses, or anywhere else.

K?

And if you have thoughts about all of this? Feel free to hit reply, I'd love to hear them :)

Warmly,

Sara

PS. Group coaching is COMING! It's the best version of coaching - 1:1 is fab but group is the best version of individual progress + community around.

If you're thinking about joining group coaching this fall, pick a time to talk here. I'd love to help you figure out if it's a good fit (and always know that it's OKAY if it's not, nbd!).

We start the week of 9/25, and yes, that's going to be here before we know it!