Hey there, ,

There's this word.

It's a word we like to USE (and we're all encouraged to use more...), and also, that we do NOT like to hear.

Know what it is?

(of course you do :))

It's NO.

And it's been the theme of the week in coaching.

Here's the thing about no in a business.

We are supposed to SAY no - to things that don't fit, to things that are too much, to people who aren't for us, to doing things that are 'shoulds'...

And also?

We *expect* all of the people to say YES to us.

I know, I know, hang on.

Logically you and I both know everyone is NOT going to say yes.

But you know what?

Emotionally? We really do think they ought to - and when they don't all say yes, our minds have alllll kinds of things to say about what we did wrong, what might be broken, what we have to change, how we have to change - all the things.

When really?

All that happened is that someone said no. That's SUPPOSED to happen, at least SOME of the time.

So why a whole email about this?

Well.

First, I think it's really useful to just flat out be reminded that hearing no does NOT mean things are broken.

No is a normal part of business.

If you hear no, should you think about it, reflect on the process and see if there's anything you can adjust? For sure.

Does that mean that there will actually be something to change, something you did wrong, something you missed? Nope.

The key here is that no is a chance for reflection - NOT an automatic disaster. Sometimes no is just no, and that no isn't about you or anything you did.

Second, in each of the coaching conversations I've had with people this week about NO, each person was taking actions in their business to PREVENT no from ever happening again without realizing it.

Each client was rethinking, feeling unsure, considering big changes without *really* understanding what was happening.

This happens to ALL of us. To me too (just ask my friends, my family, my coach... good heavens).

It's easy for someone ELSE to see - from the outside in - when we're reacting to something (in this case, having heard no) without knowing it.

But as the saying goes - 'you can't read the label from inside of the jar'.

Seeing ourselves - noticing when we're reacting (especially when it's something NEW we haven't noticed before) is HARD.

And it's one of the reasons having someone else - a friend, a colleague, a partner, a buddy, a coach - in your work with you MATTERS.

When people come to me to talk about coaching, I often ask them 'what's in the way right now?' and more often than not they answer 'me.'

Overreacting to NO is one of the ways we get in our own ways as business owners.

So for you today?

Start to notice this one. Put it on your radar.

And if you need help seeing it? Or noticing other things that you're reacting to and don't even realize it?

Ask for help. Coaching makes a difference, no matter how you get it.

Happy Thursday :)

Warmly,

Sara

PS. Two things I'd LOVE for you to say YES to...

First, Proactive Planning facilitated coworking... yep, it's a mouthful of words but the idea is SIMPLE SIMPLE SIMPLE. On Jan 26th at 11 am, you'll meet me on zoom, bring that thing you KNOW you want to do and also *never* actually get to, and we're going to get it moving. The cost is $53, and we're together for 2 hours on zoom (but also allllll day over email!). Sign up here

Second, the next round of small group coaching might be the way you get out of your own way. We start the week of March 11th, we'll meet for 12 weeks and get you MOVING, consistently, doing the things that you're avoiding, unsure of, and maybe just a little afraid that if you *actually* do them, might just work ;) The cost is $2000 - you get individual coaching, your get a tight community that will be with you forever more, and you'll grow, period. If you're ready to join, or just ready to ask questions hit reply and let's talk about it.