Hello !

I talked to a woman yesterday who had a problem we ALL have had.

She was feeling stuck, unsure, and just plain-old tired in her business.

And she was wondering, really, if she even wanted to HAVE a business any more.

What she kept saying to me was ‘… and I KNOW what to do about it, I KNOW how to get out of this, I do. But I'm just NOT doing it.'

Which I have totally done.

And so have you.

We've all been here.

And.

Here's the thing.

What we logically know HOW to do and what we emotionally CAN do in and around our OWN businesses at any given moment is not. the. same.

What we know logically is one bucket. The emotions and feelings are another.

And generally speaking - as much as I don't like it - the emotions and feelings drive the bus. Which is why we DON'T do even when we logically know.

We want to think that we can logic and knowledge our way through whatever happens. We think that KNOWING what to do should damn well equal then ACTUALLY being able to do it.

And we get mad when the logic isn't 'working' because we can NOT bring ourselves to actually DO THE THINGS we know would help us figure out what to do next.

It's SUPER annoying. And frustrating. Gah.

But really?

The problem is that we're trying to use LOGIC to fix a FEELING-based problem.

It's like trying to put air in a bike tire with a nail gun; not so effective.

So, then, seriously, what the hell do we do in these situations where we KNOW we aren't where we belong, and logic isn't working???

What do we do when we KNOW what to do to help ourselves and also we just are NOT doing it?

For me, there are two things.

First, decide you aren't a terrible human for NOT doing the thing.

Throw away the guilt, remember that you are a human with feelings and there's nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you and the guilt you are giving yourself about NOT doing is making things worse rather than better.

And yes, I get it, this first step is not a 'doing' step, which is annoying, but it really DOES matter.

When you stop being mean to yourself about not doing whatever you logically think you SHOULD be doing, it's like peeling an elephant off your shoulders.

Second, create some space for the feelings. Like, actual space + time for them to exist without you beating them back with logic.

I know, I know, yuck. And also, wtf, how do you do that?

I think it's slightly different for all of us but for me this has meant a couple of things.

When I'm NOT doing and it's because I'm trying to logic a feeling,

• I write in my journal (under protest).
• I walk with the dogs.
• I sit in the sun and read.
• I create tiny pockets of quiet time where I let the to-do list be irrelevant for 10 minutes.
• I allow it to be okay to do 60% of the things vs. 100% of the things.
• Sometimes I have days without people on my calendar (I usually manage to do this 2x a month).
• I get coached and let my coach remind me that the feelings matter even when I don't want to hear it.
• I regularly (sometimes over and over in any given day) remember that I TRUST myself and my business and that I WILL figure all the things out when and how I am meant to... and if that's not right this moment, then it's okay.

It's O.K.A.Y.

The most valuable work I've done for me this year is in allowing things to UNFOLD rather than trying to white-knuckle force them to unfold.

My inner mantra is 'it's okay if it takes the time it takes'.

And listen, maybe all of this sounds good to you.

Or maybe it sounds bananas.

It may FEEL totally counter intuitive to not be mean to yourself about NOT doing when you KNOW full well what to do, wth.

But it's not. Really. It's not.

This? This allowing? This trusting? This kindness to self?

This is what CREATES the progress we don't get when we're busily trying to FORCE progress.

All of the sudden things become simple rather than ridiculously hard.

So for you, today?

If you are mad because you are NOT doing the thing and you KNOW you should be doing the thing damnit, decide you can let go of the mad.

You can know and not do right now and that's okay.

You can stop trying to fill the bike tire with air using the nail gun.

And then?

Decide that you can TRUST that you will figure out the thing that you are trying to figure out.

You will. You will not just sit on the couch and watch Hulu for the rest of your days. You will figure it out. Just as soon as you stop trying to freaking hard to figure it out.

Let it UNFOLD.

You've got this :)

Warmly,

Sara

PS. This whole lesson in allowance and emotions vs. logic that I've learned this year?

It came out of coaching.

Learning to allow and trust, to stop trying to logic my way through the feelings of business success, and to let my time line be my time line be my time line all came out of weekly one on one coaching.

And here in October of 2022, I'm working less, I'm nicer to myself, I'm quietly beginning to build the next big thing in my business AND I've served almost TWICE as many clients this year than last.

These things ALL coexist. The allowance, the kindness, the trust, the patience are INGREDIENTS of success, not by-products.

If you are ready to build a stronger, more successful business that is also SIMPLER, KINDER to YOU, and isn't full of white-knuckle TRYING to do things vs. doing things, coaching IS the tool you need.

The sooner you take the leap, the sooner you get the results.

Book your time to talk about coaching here.