Happy Thursday, !

This lesson from the f-word is part lesson, part rant, part invitation to do this whole business success thing a different way.

Here's the deal.

In the sales portion of business, I think the 'experts' work hard to sell us this one particular big whopper of a lie.

It's actually a lie that has two parts - and the two parts are inherently in conflict (but we're not supposed to have that be a problem).

This lie qualifies for a lesson from the f-word email because it's most definitely one that had a part in the failure of my first business, and also is one that has held me back in growing the business I have now.

So, here's the lie.

Part 1: You should set a clear goal that is to get x many clients in y amount of time. There is a 'right' way to do this. (and if you don't get it done, the problem is YOU).

Part 2: You must set said goal and accomplish it in the time period set out AND also NOT be attached to getting it done, or have any expectations of others. There is a 'right' way to do this and to FEEL about it. (and again, if you ARE attached, have expectations, or even feelings that aren't pure and clear, the problem is YOU).

Oh my word it makes me sweat just thinking about it.

So why is all this a LIE?

There are 90000 reasons, but I'll give you three.

First, there is a problem with part 1. You can't set a goal to get a certain number of people to say yes to you and forget that those people ALSO have opinions and autonomy.

Yes, take responsibility for your actions. Yes, do all you can do create your result. But assuming if you did it right everything will of course perfectly work out and every person will say yes as if there are no other considerations and you are (obviously) everyone's cup of tea?

Insane.

Second there is a problem with part 2. The very nature of setting a goal with a time period IS ATTACHED. It IS expectation. So to say 'set the goal, commit to it, and also don't attach to it or expect it to work except it really should work' is bonkers.

Third, the idea that there is a right way to accomplish your goal AND a right way to FEEL --- and if you any one part wrong that's why you failed - is impossible. Impossible. Impossible.

In my first business, I believed this. In my coaching business, I have believed this.

And it has sucked.

Because it is an INSANE amount of pressure to a.) do the process right, b.) get my feelings right, c.) expect other people will say yes b/c I did a.) and b.) well when actually, humans do what humans do and they are not in my control.

This pressure did. not. create. success.

It created misery. And that certainly did not (ever) draw people INTO either of my businesses. Not for one moment.

It surely didn't help my confidence, and it most definitely didn't make me money.

So... here's the question.

If all of this is a lie, what's the alternative?

To stop making it all so freaking complicated.

• First, set a goal and let it be in your control. Period. Center the goal on things you KNOW move you business forward.

• Then, DO the thing you said you would do over and over. Give. Give. Give.

• And, TRUST that showing up, and doing that thing that you know WORKS over and over will grow your business.

While you are doing this, feel what you feel - good, bad, scared, whatever. Be a human. Show up anyway.

Choose to be a GUIDE rather than THE expert.

Choose to GIVE rather than expect.

Choose to CONNECT rather than CONVINCE.

Choose TRUST over EXPECTATION.

For me, when I shifted (and continue to shift) into selling like this, into doing BUSINESS like this - everything got simpler and easier.

And worked better.

Today, I want you to know that if you feel like you are failing because you not following 'the process' right, and/or aren't feeling right, it's NOT you that's f'd up, it's the directions.

Humans aren't meant to do things right every time.

Human feelings are a rollercoaster.

THIS IS FINE.

You are normal. Show up as THAT. Trust yourself. Do what matters. And then do it again.

Know you, and that, ARE and always were way (way) more than enough. You've got this. And if you need help, there are people out here in the world doing this whole selling thing differently. We see you. And we're here if you need us.

K?

Much love,

Sara

PS. I didn't figure all of this out about my business - what was a lie, what worked for me, how to give and grow, how to sell without feeling terrible, how to trust myself as a biz owner - on my own.

I have had help. And I WANT help.

This is WHY I hired my coach, and the handful of coaches who preceded her.

Having someone OUTSIDE my brain, who is also ahead of me, thinks differently from me, and sees what I cannot IS why I have been able to figure out so much in a few short years.

And that, in a nutshell, is the value of coaching.

Growth in ways you didn't know you needed, figuring out how to actually grow a business you love and still. be. you, and at a speed that I'm still regularly shocked by really is a thing.

Want it? Hire a coach.

Hire me. I can help you succeed the simple and easy way (instead of the make yourself feel bad because you think maybe you are doing it wrong 1000% of the time way).

When you are ready to start, hit reply.