Welcome to the June 19th edition of Faith & Life Lessons.
You will see this email full of tidbits from my week. My goal is simple. I hope that from how I live my life, you can find a thing or two that helps you as you try to live a life that matters. I am always trying to do one thing - make Christ-focused decisions in love, work, and life. And this was my week.
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The Story of My Week
Settling down in a new country is always going to be a challenge.
No matter how prepared you are.
One thing helps - knowing people on the ground who can give you the ins and outs.
That’s one of the blessings we have enjoyed through this process.
We got our apartment from a referral in church. We got the school of one of our kids from a reference from church. And the list goes on.
We also got good advice along the way.
Shopping, markets, and transportation have come from the good advice of others.
Things to avoid have also come from such advice.
There is a platform where people leaving the country sell their stuff, among other things.
One of our friends advised us of shops to explore before considering the prices people were reselling their stuff.
Interestingly, folks want to sell their old stuff at close to new prices.
Fortunately for us, we don’t need to buy much - we were able to move most of our stuff from Spain to join us.
For the most important stuff we needed, we decided to buy new. They come with a warranty.
As newbies in a new country, warranties are important especially when we don’t want to have to call various artisans for fix-it jobs.
Things I Learnt
1-Forgotten Fathers on Their day: Sunday was fathers’ day.
Something happened after the service that made me remember once again the hidden world of hurt that men sometimes carry.
Members of the hospitality team were giving out pieces of chocolate to celebrate the day.
A guy goes there and was told that because he is not a father he is not getting chocolate. It does not matter that he is an older man.
He’s older than I am from what I could surmise.
I am sure because of the stories that people have for women, a lady would not have been treated similarly.
Why? For fear of raising wounds like miscarriages, broken hearts, and the like, a lady would have probably gotten chocolate without question.
But the world of hurt that men carry is hidden.
It’s, for this reason, I’m careful to make assumptions about people.
A young couple in my previous church had been married for a while. They had not had a baby since the marriage.
It’s easy to assume that because they are young, they were bidding their time.
Far from the truth.
The truth came out when the husband preached on a Sunday and talked about how they had been trying for a baby.
You can imagine the hurt such a guy would go through on a fathers’ day if he is told he is not getting chocolate because he is not a father. It was not a choice.
By the way, it’s not a case of too many men for too little chocolate.
Let’s not use simple things to stir up deep hurts.
Even in supermen.
Because every Superman has his kryptonite.
2-Irresponsibly not Taking Your Advice: I was part of a men’s online training.
After the sessions, the facilitators did a Q&A where they addressed the personal issues of the attendees.
You asked your questions directly and were coached on the spot.
One thing I liked that they practiced was self-coaching.
A guy asked for advice about a situation he was dealing with. It was almost a merry-go-round.
The coach asked him what would be his advice to his younger sibling if he was in the same situation.
He gave the right advice.
It was clear he knew what to do. He was just not doing it.
Sometimes, we don’t take our advice to ourselves because we want to give the responsibility for the decision to other people. Not us.
We want to be able to blame others if it doesn’t work out.
It’s not an original strategy.
It’s a copycat from Adam and Eve.
“The serpent made me do it” or “The woman you gave me made me do it”
This is one of the reasons I try to create silent spaces for myself.
It allows me to listen to myself.
And learn from the wisdom God has given me to advise me.
God is at work in me.
I just got to listen to His wisdom in me.
More than I do now.
Postscript
May your heart be open to the unspoken hurt of the people around you so you respond to them in a way that heals them. For the glory of God. Amen
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Tola - The Everyday Disciple
I help Christians like you who want to live intentional lives incorporate their faith into everyday life so they can make Christ focused decisions in all areas of life and truly live to make an impact and make God happy.
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