Hello everyone,

Thank you for all the responses to my last newsletter - glad the lessons resonated with so many people. For those who haven't yet, please write out your own lessons from 2023 and share them.

Let's get to it.

Three Steps To Manage Your State.

If you only learn one thing this week, let it be this concept: State → Story → Strategy.

Our State determines the Story we tell ourselves. The Story we tell ourselves influences what Strategy we choose.

If you're in a beat down state, your story will be about how difficult and depressing things are. Your strategy will be one of inaction and pessimism.

If you're in a great motivated state, your story will be about how unstoppable you are. Your strategy will be ambitious and well thought out.

The better the state, the better our outcomes - that's simple enough. But here's the best part: We are in complete control of our states. We determine how we're feeling at any moment.

You'll always have moments where emotions get the better of you. But you can regain your ideal state with the following techniques.

First, check your physiology.

Picture in your mind someone excited and filled with joy. Their posture is upright. There's an energy to the way they're standing. There's a smile on their face. Their breathing is deep and strong.

Now picture someone who's feeling defeated. They're slumped over. You can tell they're drained of energy. Their face is curled down into a frown. Their breathing is shallow and weak.

You can mirror the physiology you want - and your mind will follow. There’s been a bunch of scientific studies in recent years on this very subject. Holding a “power” pose - a posture that signals your confidence - has been shown to reduce stress and boost risk-taking tolerance. Studies show smiling for two minutes is a huge mood booster even when you’re feeling down.

Pick the state you want to be in. Remember a time you felt that way (or model someone who you believe is in that state. Then adopt that physiology.

Second, what questions are you asking? 

The questions we ask ourselves completely determine what we focus on. If you ask, “What can I be grateful for?”, you’re going to get very different answers than if you ask, “Why does my life suck so much?”.

If you’re facing an obstacle, asking “How can I crush this?” is empowering and will boost your state. Asking, “Why is life so unfair”, you’re going to ruin your state and get beat by the obstacle. 

The seminal personal finance book, Rich Dad Poor Dad, covers this well. When faced with something out of their budget, Robert Kiyosaki claims the poor will say “I can’t afford that” while the rich ask “How can I afford that?”. Which one seems more empowering to you?

Watch the questions you ask yourself.

Third, watch your vocabulary.

This step is closely linked to the above - it’s all about choosing empowering words over disempowering words.

When you feel angry at someone, choosing to say to yourself “I’m a little bit annoyed right now” can tone down your aggression, while saying “I’m absolutely furious, I hate them” will ratchet up your intensity.

The inverse is just as true. When you feel confident, saying “I feel pretty good” tones down your confidence, while saying “I’m feeling unstoppable at the moment” will add fuel to your fire.

The vocabulary we use determines our state and emotions - but it also helps determine our perspective.

Georges St-Pierre - arguably the greatest mixed martial artist of all time - put this brilliantly. When he decided that he was committed to turning pro, he changed his vocabulary. Skipping parties, focusing on training, going to bed early - these weren’t sacrifices, they were “decisions”. This made it immensely easier for him to go through and maintain discipline - because he wasn’t sacrificing, he was simply deciding to go pro.

Useful vs True Beliefs.

There are two kinds of belief: Useful and True.

True Beliefs are mostly accurate. Useful Beliefs are going to help you.

Thinking that since 51% of marriages end in divorce, you’re flipping a coin when you get married may be true to some, it's not useful. Believing that you and your partner could never split up is more useful - even if not entirely true.

Those who keep the truthful belief will be right often, while those who keep the useful belief will stay married.

This is true for every area of our lives. Take finances for example. The people who believe it’s difficult to get wealthy may be right. But those who believe they can be the ones to do it are the ones who become rich. You get the picture.

Here's the cosmic humour: those who maintain their useful beliefs turn them into true beliefs. There's always going to be exceptions to the pessimistic universal beliefs. So why choose beliefs that are going to limit you, when you can adopt beliefs that are going to empower you?

Work Life Integration

An area that I’ve found interesting over the past couple of months is Work Life Integration. A lot of the modern writing on the topic is about the importance of work life balance - being able to shut off your work at 5, and enjoy your free time. 

That’s great, but a topic that I find way more impressive is those who achieve Work Life Integration. 

It seems to be something achieved by all those who I admire most: 

• Ryan Holiday has built a career writing about his interests in books, philosophy, and fatherhood. 

• Jocko Willink served in the military and now teaches the lessons he learned there. He turned his passion for BJJ into running an MMA gym.

• Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger loved business, investing and reading. And so they built careers that let them spend most of their day reading to inform their business and investing decisions.

• Joe Rogan - love him or hate him - is a perfect example of this concept. He loves martial arts? So he commentates the UFC at ringside. He loves comedy? So he’s created a career as a stand up comedian. He loves to learn from experts? So he’s built the world’s largest podcast so he can interview them.

Work Life Integration is a far more interesting concept for those who want to rise to high levels or work their passions.

What's Coming Up Soon?

Experimenting with Tony Robbins. (This keeps getting pushed back as I dig deeper and deeper into his material, and run more and more experiments. Hopefully a conclusive summary soon.)

My 2024 Simple Reading System.

Experiences with Ghostwriting.

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That's it for this week. Thank you as always for reading.

Your task for this week is to work on your state management.

Let me know your thoughts.