Dear ,

Let’s talk about intentional parenting.

Ano nga ba ito?

Sabi dito sa website:

Intentional parenting is an approach to developing safe, stable, and nurturing parent-child relationships. 

This approach relies on brain science to provide you with ways to stay present and involved with your child. 

Using the approach provides consistent structure and guidelines within which your child can find their own way. 

Intentional parenting uses intentional communication to tackle hard problems in a way that strengthens the parent-child relationship.

Sa pagkakaintindi ko dito, ang intentional parenting ay paraan ng pagpapalaki ng anak kung saan may safe, stable at nurturing na relasyon between the parent and child.

In other words, the parent and the child are growing together in a healthy relationship kahit hindi ito perpekto.

Kung iisipin mo, mukhang mahirap atang gawin to.

Paano ba maibigay ang safety kung may abusive person sa loob ng relationships nyo?

Paano ba maibigay ang stabikity kung kahit sa pagkain sa bawat araw ay hindi mo pa alam kung saan kukunin?

Paano ba magkaroon ng nurturing kung sa sarili mong childhood hindi ka nakaranas ng ganitong klaseng relationships?

At ang dami pang tanong ang maraming lumalabas sa puso at isipan.

Hindi naman talaga madali pag-usapan ang ganitong klaseng topic.

Malalim at malawak ang usaping parenting.

Minsan kailangan natin ng expert advise from professionals.

Minsan kailangan lang natin ng common sense.

At isang malaking malaking puso.

Kaya sa ngayon, let’s deal with what we can easily control.

Ourself.

With our own heart.

Kasi puso din ang labanan sa parenting.

Yung tipong paano ba magbigay ng unconditional love despite everything?

Personally, I believe that a parent is created to give “unconditional” love.

Just like any human being created for love.

Paano ba maging intentional parent despite sa circumstance na meron ka?

Kung meron ka nito, TEA:

Time, Energy, Attention

I believe kaya mo ng maging intentional sa parenting.

Maraming paraan ang pwedeng gawin.

Pero itong TEA ay hindi kailangang magastos.

Pero ito ang madalas na language of love ng bawat tao, or bata.

Yung iba: food, shelter, clothes, etc…

Physiological needs yun, necessary pero hindi nakakatugon sa overall needs ng bata.

Time, spending time with your child consistently is a language that speaks to the child strongly.

Samahan mo pa ng energy at attention ang time, mararamdaman ng bata na mahalaga sya sayo.

And that is one powerful way to speak one language of love.

(I’ll talk about the languages of love sa future emails ko.)

Simple lang di ba?

Ang tanong, madali lang ba?

Paano ba ibibigay ang tatlong bagay nato?

Time. Scheduled. Consistently. 

Sa bawat araw, linggo, o buwan. Kailangang may time kang ibibigay para makipag bonding sa anak mo. Yung tipong nilo-look forward nyong dalawa ang time na to. Hindi yung kung maalala mo lang, o kung kelan ka libre. Gagawin mo to kasama sa schedule mo at may high priority sya. Commitment din to kaya gawin mong non-negotiable ang time na to. Unless it’s a life and death situation, this time with your child must happen. Everything can wait. Siyempre, you have to make sure na yung ibang high priority ay hindi tatama sa time na to. You are still a responsible individual. Loving yes, but responsible.

Energy. Fully. Vigorously. 

Kailangan hindi ka pagod sa time mo with your child. Para kahit anong interest ang gusto nyang gawin, you have the energy to do it. Your child will respond to the level of energy that you show. Kaya kung gusto mo ng fun time together, give the fun energy first and your child with follow.

Attention. Focused. Present. 

Remove distractions that can steal your attention away from your child. Kasi kailangan, present ka both physically, mentally and emotionally during your time together. Mararamdaman ng anak mo kung absent ka kahit kasama mo sya. Iwasan mong isipin ang mag problema o other concerns mo sa araw-araw dahil you will wander. When your thoughts wander off, you will get disconnected to your child. Then your goal of connecting with your child to know and understand better, will not be achieved.

Sa tatlong bagay na to, magiging magaling na parent ka na ba?

Not necessarily…

And not immediately.

But it will be a good start.

Doing this will help you understand your child better.

So you can anticipate potential issues that can arise and do something to prevent it.

Or you can discover underlying issues by digging deep inside your child’s world then you will know the best solution to do for your problems.

And the best part?

You are learning the most from doing this.

Did you know that our children are our teachers?

Hindi natin pinag-aralan ang parenting sa isang course di ba?

Kaya normal na nangangapa tayo.

But experience is the best teacher, as well as our children.

As we nurture them, we nurture ourselves into becoming God’s instrument of love for our children.

If you do this, who knows what else you might discover and learn about your child and yourself?

Kaya ako, this 2023, binigyan ko ng highest priority ang aspeto na to ng buhay ko.

I want to be intentional in my parenting.

Kaya I scheduled 1 hour every week with each child to bond.

Kahit makipag-kwentuhan lang.

O grab a snack sa malapit na tindahan.

Basta may meaningful conversations.

Like learning what colors they would like if they have a room of their own.

Or what’s their favorite game app.

Small steps.

Small conversations.

Pero focused, uninterrupted and energized.

I hope to fill my children’s cup.

So I can also fill my own.

Actually kasama si hubby.

And myself.

I hope you get to do this too .

Para sa mga taong mahal mo.

Because I believe, what you focus on, grows.

Gusto ko mag grow sa relationships ko.

So dito ako mag iinvest ng time, energy and attention (TEA).

Hanggang sa susunod na sulat!

Nagmamahal,

Mommy Fivemay

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