Dear ,

Kumusta ka?

Sana maayos ka.

Aaminin ko di ko talaga feel magsulat ng email for this week.

Ilang days na din kasi akong may diarrhea at wala talaga akong energy para mag-isip at bumangon.

In fact, hilata lang ang ginawa ko nitong 3 days (except kung tumatakbo sa cr).

Hindi naman ako makatulog kasi dami kong iniisip:

• My to-do lists na hindi nagagalaw.

• Ang mga anak ko na in and out ang pang-iistorbo.

• Pag-inom ng gamot at electrolyte water.

• At sakit ng katawan ko na sumabay sa diarrhea na to.

Pinipilit kong pumikit kasi alam ko kailangan ko ng energy para harapin ang mga susunod na araw.

Pero ayaw talaga umidlip ng diwa ko.

Natanong ko din, may nagbabasa pa ba sa mga sulat ko?

May nangangailangan pa ba ng mensahe ko?

Parang gusto ko ng magpatalo sa self doubt ko na wala ng may gustong makinig sa mga sinasabi ko.

Pero naisip ko din, paano kung merong isang nanay na kailangang mabasa ang sulat na ito?

At dahil sa mensahe ko, nagkaroon ng liwanag ang puso’t isipan nyang dumidilim at gulong gulo?

Paano kung hindi ko ipapadala ito, ano ang mangyayari kanya?

Kaya sinabi ko sa sarili ko.

“Hala, bangon at magsulat. Wag kang tatamad tamad. Puro ka excuses eh.

Paano kung hindi mo isusulat ang mga salitang ito at hindi mabasa nino man. 

You would have deprived someone of that one thread of hope that they might find from reading this letter. 

Kaya wag kang madamot. Isulat mo na yan.”

Kaya ayun, bangon na si ako.

Matanong ko lang ko, kailangan mo bang mabasa ito ngayon ?

Sana naman hindi.

Pero kung sakaling kailangan mo, ito ang mensahe ko para sayo….

If you feel overlwhemed, sick and tired of breastfeeding (and life in general), let me tell you this…

You are not alone in feeling that way.

It is normal to feel that way.

Kasi tao ka lang.

You are not a superhuman.

Kaya wag kang maguilty kapag naiisip mong mag give up at mag pahinga.

It’s valid to think those thoughts.

But it’s rare to actually do them.

Nanay ka eh.

Most of the time, feeling mo wala kang choice.

Kaya tuloy pa rin ang laban.

But you must understand.

You need to recognize those needs.

Your body needs to rest when tired.

Your mind needs to stop thinking when it’s out of control.

Your heart needs to refill when empty.

Your soul needs to connect to the source of everything.

You need to receive what is given.

You need to ask to receive.

Kaya kung nahihirapan ka sa pagpapabreastfeed, or nag-eenjoy ka sa experience mo ngayon. O kung hindi ka na breastfeeding, lahat ng yan ay blessings.

Lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay natin, as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, o kahit anong role man ang ginagampanan mo ngayon…

Have a reason for being.

Dahil ikaw yan.

Parte lahat ng yan ng pagiging ikaw.

Kaya iba-iba tayo ng nagiging karanasan sa buhay, dahil each and everyone of us is unique and special.

Ginawa ka ng Diyos dahil you have a purpose to fulfill.

Kahit ano man yan, you were chosen for that one special purpose and God provided you all the materials to fulfill that destiny.

Your genetic make-up, your parents, your family, your education, your job, your children, your failures, your successes, your trials, everything that you have, everything that you went through, everything that you will choose, and the consequences of those choices will become part of the materials that are gonna make you who are are meant to be.

And in God’s hands, you will be perfect for His purpose.

Imperfect yes, but worthy.

Lacking maybe, but loved unconditionally.

Lost but always found.

So kung feeling lost or hopeless ka sa sitwasyon mo today.

Look at it from a different perspective.

Baka kailangan mong pagdaanan yan momsh.

Dahil ang sitwasyon mong yan ang magiging napaka-importanteng piece of the puzzle to complete your story.

Kung ang Diyos ang bumubuo ng puzzle na yan.

Trust that He will make a masterpiece out of your story.

Kaya ngayon ka pa ba susuko?

Imaginin mo how beautiful that masterpiece will be.

And remember, ikaw ang bida sa istoryang yan.

Your story is not yet done.

God is working in your life right now.

But you know what, you are co-creating the pieces with Him.

You have the power to change the pieces of that jigsaw puzzle.

Hindi ka naman pinagbabawalan ni God na baguhin ang design nya.

Kaya ka nga niya binigyan ng free will.

Dahil you have actually the power to create the life that you want.

And God wants the best masterpiece that He can work with for you.

Kaya ngayon pa lang momsh.

Challenge ko sayo, bangon ka na.

Sa anumang pagkakalugmok na nararamdaman mo ngayon.

Take and receive your power and create the pieces that will help you claim your destiny.

It’s all in your hands.

If you need help, ask.

If you’re offered help, accept.

If you feel alone, reachout.

Hindi bawal gawin ang lahat ng yan.

You don’t have to be alone in fulfilling your destiny.

It’s better to have company along the way.

Mas masaya kaya pag mas marami.

Kung wala ka talagang maisip, nandito din ako.

Handang makinig sayo.

Kaya reply ka naman momsh para malaman ko ding binabasa mo ang mga sulat ko.

Simpleng hello ay talagang na-aapreciate ko.

Sana sa pagbangon kong ito, nakaramdam ka ng pag-asa sa mga salitang namutawi mula sa mga daliri ko.

At naramdaman mong ready ka ng buoin ang kwentong ikaw at ikaw lang ang makakatapos.

Tuloy mo lang ang paglalakbay.

Nandito lang ako, sa iyong istorya naka-antabay.

Galingan mo ha.

Diyos kaya ang iyong kasangga.

Hanggang sa susunod na sulat!

Nagmamahal,

Mommy Fivemay