Hi there,

Welcome back to our weekly Wednesday update. Moving forward we're going to work to give you little weekly challenges. Challenges that are fun, but also help you deepen your NVC practice to help you move towards how you want your Future Self to communicate. Last week we gave you your first one! And this week we're going to add a little behavior to it to take it one step further. We'll get to that shortly, and this week's Empathy Gym schedule.

But first, let's dive into our most recent podcast episode where Dr. B and Heather review some of the challenges, and how to overcome them, people experience on their journey to learn and use NVC.

Common NVC Pain Points

Are you struggling with NVC and how to make it come alive in your everyday interactions? The good news is that you are in good company. NVC is simple in concept but can be quite challenging to make come alive in your life.

Don't worry, we've got you covered! Join us to hear some of the Common Pain Points people tend to experience including:

1.  Feeling resistant to the process
2. Thinking NVC is the only way to communicate
3. Thinking the NVC process is too mechanical
4. Feeling too overwhelmed or unsure to practice

Click here to listen to the podcast

Weekly Challenge: I Feel Like

Last week I told you about Atomic Habits and gave you a little challenge: to notice when you said: "I'm Sorry". Were you able to catch yourself?

This week we're going to take the awareness of you saying "I'm Sorry" and use it as the cue for you to install a habit that is going to slowly change your life. So, anytime you want to install a habit there is an ABC formula.

A = Anchor (or cue or prompt) - something that cues or prompts you to take a behavior

B = behavior - the behavior you take

C = celebrate - give yourself an immediate reward to engrain the habit

Let's take brushing your teeth for example. The anchor for a lot of us is waking up and getting out of bed. I, at least, immediately go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. The actual brushing of the teeth is the behavior. Since this is a habit we more than likely have already engrained in us, the celebration can be as simple as how we feel about the cleanliness of our teeth and feel good about taking care of selves. But think about if you're trying to get your children to install the habit of brushing their teeth in the mornings. You may high five them, cheer, or explain to them how pretty their teeth are and how good it is for them to brush them to keep healthy. And that is how you install a habit.

So for this new habit the Anchor is going to be every time we notice ourselves immediately say "I"m Sorry."

The new behavior is going to be taking out your Needs List and identifying the need you are mourning in the situation. This is probably a need related to some behavior you did and now are regretting - like mourning kindness (from yourself), if you said some things that you think might have hurt the other.

One thing I'll say about the behavior is anytime you're trying to install a new one, like we are today, make it so easy you can't fail. If you're trying to start flossing, just aim to floss one tooth a day. If it's meditation your starting, just trying to do one mindful breath a day.

And then Celebrate! This is the key. BJ Fogg, one of the world's foremost Behavioral Scientists and author of Tiny Habits, says this idea of celebration that he's founded may be his most important discovery. That one day it will rank up there with gratitude and mindfulness for its importance.

Make sure you celebrate! Reward yourself with something. Or even better, feel the celebration. How do you celebrate when your team scores a goal or your kids do something that contributes to needs in the world? Do you fist pump? Yell? Whatever it is do that when you do this new behavior you're making a habit. You'll be much likely to continue the behavior.

Ok so there's your super short Master Class on creating a new habit. This week when you notice yourself immediately say "I'm Sorry" identify the need that you wish you had contributed to in the circumstance and then celebrate that new awareness! Even if it hurts to identify the need that was lacking, the awareness can likely equate to growth and doing something different in the future and that (in my opinion) is worth celebrating.

In The Empathy Gym This Week

We are excited to announce that we have started our Connecting Request Intensives and there will be one a week for the next three weeks, now. So, if you are an Empathy Gym member looking to strengthen your ability to use Connecting Requests, please check out the schedule and come join us.

Upcoming Schedule

Thursday 12pm EST - Routine Workout with Jordan

Friday 10am EST - Routine Workout with Jordan

Sunday 11am EST - Routine Workout with Logan

Monday 3pm EST - Routine Workout with Cindy

Tuesday 10am EST - Connecting Request Intensive with Saskiya

Enjoy, Cindy Bigbie