Hi there,

Welcome back to our Weekly Wednesday Update (WWU). In the last two weeks, we've given you small challenges to help deepen your NVC practice and ultimately your relationships. This week we're going to build on that challenge by bringing in OFNR. We'll also go into the upcoming week's Empathy Gym schedule and how any of you in the Empathy Gym can get extended empathy in the week ahead.

But first, let's dive into our most recent podcast episode where Dr. B and guest Dr. Jeremiah Murphy go deep into the Self Empathy Process.

Deepening the Self Empathy Process with Guest Dr. Jeremiah Murphy

In Episode 51, Dr. B has a special guest.  Dr. Jeremiah Murphy is a professor of Astrophysics at Florida State University. However, beyond his day job, he is an avid proponent and student of Nonviolent Communication. Listen here as he shares about a moment that was quite informative to his own practice of self-empathy.

In this Episode we go into:

• What to do in moments of intensity?
• Thinking about your intention - what does that mean and how can it inform your self-empathy process?
• Going beyond an intellectual understanding of your feelings: an example of what this looks like

Click here to listen to the podcast

Weekly Challenge: Bringing OFNR in

Two weeks ago we challenged you to notice when you immediately say "I'm Sorry." Last week we took it one step further to challenge you to, after noticing, take out your Needs List, identify the need that you wish you had contributed to in the circumstance and then celebrate that new awareness.

Even if you did it once last week, celebrate! Life and habits are built on tons of micro-steps and actions. It is so important to celebrate to keep yourself focusing on the gain and stay encouraged to continuously take that positive step until it's a habit. So celebrate!

And now this week, we're going to incorporate our OFNR framework and talk to the person. So you've said sorry, you've identified the need you are/were mourning, and now let's communicate with them. I know it can be scary, and that's why we have a simple framework to communicate: OFNR.

Observation: When x happened, and I said (or did) y [make sure it is purely observational]

Feeling: I felt [insert feeling here from Feelings List]

Need: I'm mourning (or celebrating) my need for [insert need here from Needs List]

(Connecting) Request Options:

1) How was this for you to hear?

2) Just so I know you understood me, can you tell me what you are hearing me say?

3) How was that moment for you?

Let's piggyback off last week's example where you've said something that might have hurt someone. The conversation may look like:

Observation: When you came to me and were telling me about X and then I said Y.

Feeling: I immediately felt sad, and a little upset with myself.

Need: I'm mourning kindness from myself in that moment.

(Connecting) Request: How was that moment for you?

Ok, that is your challenge this week! Can you have that conversation with one person this week when you notice that awareness of immediately wanting to say sorry.

I know it can be scary and it may not be fun connecting with the feelings. Give it your best shot and then celebrate afterward for your awareness and your commitment to take action and take a step towards greater connection.

And then please respond and let me know how it went. Or simply that you did it.

In The Empathy Gym This Week

A couple quick announcements:

1. On Monday, September 20th, during Cindy's Routine Workout - she will be swaying from her regular agenda and doing the session on extended empathy. Since we rarely get to witness or practice empathy for extended periods of time, she wanted to give people a chance to experience this. So, if you are able to make it, please join us on September 20th.
2. There are 2 Connecting Request Intensives left, 1 each of the next 2 weeks, until we start Action Request Intensives. I just wanted to give you the heads up if you are looking to try out a Connecting Request Intensive.

Upcoming Schedule

Thursday 12pm EST - Connecting Request Intensive with Jordan

Friday 10am EST - Routine Workout with Jordan

Sunday 11am EST - Routine Workout with Logan

Monday 3pm EST - Routine Workout with Cindy

Tuesday 10am EST - Routine Workout with Saskiya

Enjoy, Cindy Bigbie