Happy Wednesday!

This week I was reading the Philosopher's Note on Courage Is Calling, by Ryan Holiday - one of my favorite authors. And, side note, owns a pretty cool bookstore right outside of Austin called The Painted Porch.

And the idea of choice and "Forward into Growth" really stood out to me.

Admiral McRaven in The Hero's Code tells us Courage is the #1 virtue and that...

“None of us are immune from life’s pain and disappointment. But if you doubt for even a second that you have the courage necessary to confront the evil in the world or that weakness that resides deep inside all of us—you’re wrong. ...

We all have our lines in the sand, those fears that keep us from being courageous. But all you have to do to overcome those fears, those obstacles, those challenges in your life is to take one step forward. Just one. Take one step forward and get on the helicopter. Take one step forward and fight injustice. Take one step forward and challenge the bullies. Take one step forward and face your inner demons. And if you take that one step forward you will find the courage you seek, the courage necessary to overcome your fears and be the hero you long to be.”

Ryan Holiday ends the book with the passage:

“There is only one way we can repay them for this.

It’s by adding to it our own deeds, by picking up their ‘unfinished work.’ We must continue the tradition we have been part of, whether we know it or not. We must follow Hercules.

It begins by choosing virtue. Not virtue signaling, but virtuous living.

We can learn about virtue all we want, but when we get to the crossroads, there we will have to make a choice. ...

Whether it’s from the Bible or from Hercules or East of Eden or Faust, the parable’s message is the same: We have a choice. We choose between cowardice and courage, virtue and vice.

Courage calls us in our fear. It calls us to each act of bravery and perseverance our duties require. And it calls us beyond ourselves to a greater common good.

It’s our decision how to answer the call. Not just once but a thousand times in life. Not just in the past and the future but right now, today.

What will it be? Can you be brave? Who and what will you be brave for?

The world wants to know.”

We have a choice and as Abraham Maslow puts it we can step forward into growth or back into safety.

What will our choice be today? And every day? Or I should say in the next moment?

This connects to NVC because with every interaction we have a choice. Each tough conversation. Each time someone makes us feel "some type of way." Do we step forward into growth or back into safety? Do we react from emotion, or possibly shy away? Or do take a chance, consider their needs, consider our needs, or choose empathy?

Christopher McDougall tell us "Empathy, the Greeks believed, was a source of strength, not softness; the more you recognized yourself in others and connected with their distress, the more endurance, wisdom, cunning, and determination you could tap into.”

But, it takes effort. It takes changing our patterns. It takes being vulnerable. That's where the strength comes in. And sometimes it takes having the strength for two when you don't want to. When you are "triggered" to sit and consider your needs and their needs. To take the chance to have a tough conversation. To consider their perspective. To remain objective.

It's not easy. But it's doable. Will you choose to step forward into growth or back into safety? And the more you choose to step forward the more that muscle gets built.

Let's take one step forward and have that strength, together, today.

🎙️ Podcast Episode 108: Thoughts on the Testosterone Episode

In Episode 108, Dr. B and Heather model an NVC conversation about last week's episode on Testosterone and NVC. Listen in to track empathy (presence, reflection, needs guesses), connecting requests, and expressing using Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests.

Click here to listen to the podcast

💪 In The Empathy Gym This Week ❤️

Update: We are officially on a new platform as of this week. If you are an Empathy Gym member, you can access the Empathy Gym at learn.thebigbiemethod.com

Cheers,

Ryan