Every week when I sit down to write this newsletter:

I think of what is most helpful for all of you.

I reflect on a few things:

- Posts you comment on

- Stories I hear in calls

- Messages I receive

This week I focused on what I think the #1 most impactful things I've done in my career are.

After a bit of thinking I arrived at an unusual answer:

Being Kind

It seems like an impractical answer. How can you gain anything from being kind? What do you gain by doing things for others? What about you?

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To kick this off let's talk about 2 different modes of thinking:

Zero-Sum and Positive-Sum

Zero-Sum

In this mode of thinking everything equals out in the world.

I do something for you...

You do something for me...

The sum of those two actions is zero.

The assumption with this mindset is that when I do something for you I am losing something, and when you do something for me you are losing something. In both situations, the other person gains something too:

1 - 1 + 1 - 1 = 0

This is the foundation of the zero-sum mindset. People with this perspective on life usually choose to keep to themselves because by helping others they are risking losing something.

They aren't wrong. From their perspective, it is practical to keep to yourself.

For anybody this resonates with, let me offer a different perspective.

Positive-Sum

Let's imagine a different way of thinking. We're not changing anything about the situation other than how we choose to view it.

Imagine that when you help somebody – YOU gain something too.

1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 4

How could this be possible?

The zero-sum mindset assumes all resources are finite. It assumes that the laws of supply-and-demand apply to everything.

"I shouldn't share my knowledge with you because it increases the supply of people with my knowledge and decreases the demand for what I know."

This isn't a flawed way of thinking. It is simply one way of thinking.

However, in my experiences in life, I haven't seen that to be the case.

Throughout my career, I have always taken extra time to go out of my way to mentor others. I did it with my friends growing up, I did it at university, I do it at my jobs, and now I'm doing it with you all.

Some people might see this as an act of service, but I tend to view it as spreading infinite abundance.

You get access to all my experiences, knowledge, stories, and anecdotes.

I get to solidify my knowledge by exposing myself to unexpected questions.

We both get exposure to new people and new ideas.

With the positive-sum mindset:

It's a win-win

Okay... So What?

Going back to the original point:

How can kindness be the most important thing in an engineering career?

Because life is about people.

Sharing the experience is where all the value comes from.

Without others, you would have nothing to lose.

And without others, you would have nothing to gain.

I have met a lot of engineers who are closed off:

• Annoyed when you ask questions
• Keep to themselves
• Siloh knowledge

And in most cases:

They don't get much out of their career.

Even if they are extremely talented.

The people who get the most out of their careers? They are giving all the time. In fact, I would say they spend the majority of their time helping out others.

When it comes time for:

• Promotions
• Giving out that cool new opportunity
• Deciding what employees to keep at the startup

Who do you think they are going to choose?

Most people have zero-sum mindsets. This means when you do something for them they subliminally think "I owe them one". The worst case scenario is you end up with hundreds of people that have a mental "IOU" to you. That doesn't sound half bad 🤷‍♂️

It's not unfair. It's not wishful thinking. It's human nature.

I know it's cliche to say, but with the context above I hope it hits differently...

Be Kind.

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Thank you all for reading this week's newsletter.

I appreciate all of you who read to the end.

Email me at swdlodonnell@gmail.com with any questions

Check out my free course if you are learning to code

Until next week!

I hope you all have a great weekend.