"I'm doing it because it is the smart thing to do"

That is the most dangerous sentence I ever said to myself.

I always get questions from software engineers like:

"What is the smart thing to do in this situation"

"Is it smarter for me to continue what I'm doing?"

"Is it smarter to learn this language or that language?"

Stop.

Being "smart" is not an attainable goal.

It's immeasurable.

What's smart to person 1.

Is not smart to person 2.

Nothing in life is "smart"

But there is one thing that is "smart" for you.

When somebody comes to me and asks "What is the smart thing to do here?"

They almost always know their own answer.

What they actually mean is:

"Hey person who did something I'm looking to do, can you reinforce my feelings about what I'm going to do?"

To be fair – There is nothing wrong with this.

Humans are wired to do this their entire life. You see a child look back at their mom before doing something new. Looking for that nod of approval.

In simple situations – This habit is useful.

But in complex life decisions?

Only you have the most context.

And more often than not – your gut won't steer you wrong.

So should you stop reaching out to me for help?

No. I love taking calls with you all.

What pains me is seeing capable people feeling like they need to do what is generally perceived as "smart" instead of embracing what is "smartest" for them.

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Something that became apparent to me in my early 20s is that everybody is projecting.

But how could they not?

Projecting is "displacing your feelings or experiences onto another person"

You see it all the time:

A celebrity says "Anybody can work hard and do what I do"

An unfortunate person thinks "everything is just luck"

A sad person thinks "the world is a dark place"

Everybody has their own experience.

When you ask somebody for advice on your problems you are inviting them to the project on to your situation.

You are saying "Hey, given your experiences and feelings about life: Pretend to be me and make this decision"

So when you ask somebody what the "smart" thing to do is?

You're asking "What is YOUR smart thing to do"

There are a few things to consider when you ask for advice:

1. Have they already done what you want to do?
2. Have you already made your decision?
3. Do you want advice or reinforcement?

Projection is powerful – but it is also dangerous.

There are times when "trusting your gut" will seem wildly irrational to everybody but you. Sometimes your decision was already made long before you actually do it.

So stop making "smart" decisions.

And start making your decisions.

Don't be afraid to have a crazy story.

Life is more fun that way.

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Thank you for reading my sappy newsletter.

I appreciate all of you who took the time to read.

As always:

Reply to this newsletter or shoot me an email at swdlodonnell@gmail.com

I will respond.

Until next week.

Stay safe out there 👋