(Why I Discarded A Woman That Refused Me Sex)
Some time ago, I invited a woman with whom I had a romantic relationship to my house and suggested to her before she came that I was in the mood for sex. She came wearing sexually suggestive clothing, which indicated that she understood my message.
Before I could sit, she started making demands – “Do you have a good restaurant here?” “I will love to eat fried meat”. She saw the designer boxer that I was yet to wear. It is a very expensive set of boxer shorts. She said she wanted one of them, I let her have it.
As time went on, I made sexual moves to her and she objected, I did again, and she objected. This is despite she has been with me severally & I made no such attempt yet I was giving her whatever she demanded. She kept ignoring my need and kept making more demands. “Give me your Bluetooth speaker,” “get me a cold drink”, “buy me suya”.
For me, all of these were not issues at all but she must respect my needs too. After giving her all she requested, except, of course, the Suya which we will buy on her way home, I asked her why she was rejecting my sexual moves. She said that she was not in the mood for it.
I tried to educate her that for sex to happen between lovers, both parties do not have to be in the mood. Sometimes, one party does it because the other person needs it and it can be vice versa. Nothing I said made sense to her, she did not allow it.
I have had enough so, I told her there was no need to be with her inside the house & getting tempted by her presence when nothing is going to happen. I retrieved my boxers shot from her and I demanded, albeit subtly that she leaves.
I gave her fare, and that was because I was the one who told her to come. When we were going, I saw a “Suya Spot” and reminded her to buy it, again, she had the effrontery to tell me to buy it for her. I told her “It is not good to be stupid all the time.”
She understood it, and said, “okay, do not worry, it is just ordinary suya, I can get it anywhere for myself if I want it”. For me, I was done with her and no longer cared how she felt since my own needs were not important to her. That was the last time she will be visiting me unless she is willing to honor my needs, not necessarily sex, as it is the least of them all.
I imagine some will ask “So, she must have sex with you before you can give her what she wants” and the answer to that is YES! This was a relationship that was supposed to lead to marriage and I do not wish to spend an entire life with a woman who does not care about my needs & will not move an inch for me whenever she is not in the mood, even though I do not joke about her needs.
In a romantic relationship, sex is the cheapest thing anyone can give. And mind you, it is a form of giving only if one agrees to do it when he/she is not in the mood for it; otherwise, it is not a sacrifice. Despite that, it is still the cheapest form of sacrifice in a relationship, if it is, at all.
If sex is already a big deal for a woman for whom I am willing to go to any length, then there is no deal. I do not care what you call me; I am not going to get into a relationship with a woman with which sex is a big deal. If the cheapest form of sacrifice is a big deal already, how then can she be a help-meet when the time for bigger sacrifices comes?
To whom brain is given, sense is expected.
I am Soul’e Rhymez.
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