I woke up this morning to a video of a man exposing his ex for being dirty and not changing her panties for 3 days. Whether the accusation is true or not, it shows that the man is not ready for a romantic relationship.
If he is ready for a romantic relationship, he should know that there is no relationship where one will not have to deal with weaknesses in one’s partner that the public has no idea about. That is why you are needed and not the public.
The reason why many people are not married even though they wish to is that they are looking for perfect partners. These people go to church praying for God to send them the right partners, with the hope that God will send a perfect partner.
Perfect partners do not exist, but there can be a perfect romantic relationship & marriage if two imperfect people learn to live together, continually improve individually and manage each other’s weaknesses.
For instance, as an author, I may look perfect, and well-organized online, but I am not as perfect and organized in real life. I have a tough time doing domestic tasks and this leaves everything in the house misplaced and unkempt most times.
I can wake up, and go straight to the computer to type down the inspirations that I have received before it disappears. This means I do not always wake up to immediately spread my bed, brush my teeth, or take my bath and may not do them until the electricity is seized or when I am done writing down my inspirations.
That is being unclean, is it not? It is what it is and it only goes to show that everyone has a weakness.
I often look rough too but not necessarily dirty, and even though I wish to work on it, I often forget. When I get on the computer, every other thing, including food, is forgotten. Did I tell you that I often forget to shave?
I have been trying so hard to overcome these weaknesses, but I need an accountability partner to successfully overcome them. If a woman is attracted to me because of my status as an incredible author, she must understand that being domestically lazy is one of the prices I paid for that. If she cannot cope with it & help me to improve, then she cannot enjoy the benefit of my strengths.
Merely stating the qualities you want in your prospective partner does not make you ready for marriage, until you list the weaknesses that you are ready to manage for the rest of your life if they are not improved on. For every strength you see in a person and get attracted to, there is a corresponding weakness.
Having weaknesses, however bad they may appear to be, is not a big deal in romantic relationships or marriage and should not be, the unwillingness to work on these weaknesses is. Living with people’s weaknesses is one of the hardest things in marriage but until you are ready to do it, you are not ready for marriage.
No one comes out to tell you they do not flush the toilet after using it; no woman comes out to tell you she piles up her dirty underwear, no man comes out to tell you that he wears the same boxers for one week, no one comes out to tell you they have offensive body odor even if they take their baths twice daily. These are some of the weaknesses that can make you forget the finest qualities that attracted you to people in the first place.
Fine photos posted online do not show dirty pants & smelly private parts; it does not reveal body odor; a person that is well-dressed & posted on social media may have a room littered with dirty clothes. Things are usually not as they are online.
The people you crush on have one or more of these weaknesses and for you to enjoy the fine qualities that attracted you to them, you must be willing to help them manage their weaknesses or learn to live with them without getting annoyed by them. If you cannot do this, then forget marriage.
Written by Soul’e Rhymez
A Lagos-based Sex Educator & Public Speaker.
Email: [email protected]
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