Hello darlings!

I have an important question for you. I mean, I'd like to think that all of my questions are important, but here we go. ;)

I'm not a fan of the word "smut."

To me, this word carries a lot of negative connotations - namely that we should be ashamed of romance novels or the joy they bring us. I don't think every book has to have a "serious" meaning behind it. I fully support reading for enjoyment and being able to relax and lose ourselves in a good book.

In my opinion, real life can be pretty hard. Having a way to relax and unwind and just forget for a little while is really important thing.

But to me, "smut" carries a lot of weight with it. It reminds me of being young and having people warn me that "romance books are trash." I don't think that at all - I think romance books can make us laugh and make us cry and make us dig deep and question who we are and what we want from the world around us.

What about you? What do you think? (And absolutely feel free to tell me that I'm wrong!) Are you a fan of "smut" or do you prefer a different word?

ALSO, if you missed my newsletter last week, I announced my new pirate romance, SCALLYWAG.

SCALLYWAG is a pirate romance that was so much fun to write. You've heard me say that every book I write is my favorite, and this one is no exception.

Eleanor is a fun, smart, brave character. She's lost both of her parents, yet somehow managed to make a life for herself. She's doing everything in her power to stay strong and brave and fierce, but when she's framed for a murder she didn't commit, she only has one choice: become a pirate.

Stone is a dreaded pirate who is nothing short of feisty. He's all muscle, and he's a giver. He instantly finds himself drawn to Eleanor, but he knows she's got a secret. So does he.

Will their time together end in romance?

Or will the terrors of the sea threaten to tear them apart?

Scroll down to read chapter one OR click here to buy now.

Love you lots,

Sophie

It’s not every day you see your parents die.

For me, it was a Tuesday just like any other day. We were on a ship moving from Fairy Vale to North Moon. My mother wanted a fresh start and Father wanted her to stop yapping. That was how we found ourselves on a ship called The Mermaid sailing across a beautiful blue ocean filled with big dreams and endless hope.

“Can you hear it?” Mother asked as the two of us stood on the starboard side. We were staring at the water as we practically flew through it. The ship felt like it was racing toward a fresh start – one I’d been dreaming of for ages.

“Hear what?” I asked Mother, looking up at her. She was so pretty with her long, dark hair piled on top of her head. Even when the two of us were alone and nobody fancy was around to see, Mother made sure she looked nice. Today was no exception. We’d spent the day prior exploring a little cove, swimming and having fun together while the men on the ship bought supplies at a little harbor. Even then, while I’d splashed around, Mother had mostly sat on the rocks looking at me. I knew she had a lot on her mind, but I hoped that being in North Moon would give us the answers she needed.

“Hope,” she whispered, and for a minute, I let myself believe that this was exactly what we were going to find in North Moon. Father had landed a position as a teacher at the school there. He was to teach science to the students in the city and Mother was going to try to find a role in a shop while she met with doctors who could help her with her many ailments. She had lived in North Moon long ago when she was a girl, but after she married Father, she moved to Fairy Vale with him. He had been born and raised there, but now it was time for something new. Mother was tired of Fairy Vale and of being sick for so long. She wanted something new. She wanted a place where she could belong.

“Adventure is on the horizon,” Mother said quietly. She squeezed my hand, and I nodded, smiling up at her. I had a secret from my mother, and it was one I could never tell her because it was about her. She didn’t know that I’d heard them fighting the night before in hushed, angry whispers. I was supposed to be asleep in our cabin, but I had trouble falling asleep on the ship. Everyone else fell asleep so fast in their bunks or hammocks, but I always stayed awake long after the belly of the ship was filled with loud snores.

Mother didn’t know I knew what she’d said to Father.

She didn’t know I was aware they were no longer going to be a couple.

It was a hard thing to understand as a kid. I was only eight. It wasn’t like I knew that much about the world. It seemed wrong and strange that Mother wanted to live in one house and she wanted Father to live in another, but I knew what love was, and I knew what it meant that they didn’t love each other anymore. And now we were staring at the sea wishing for a bright, beautiful future.

This was my mother’s secret, and I would keep it. She wanted something more for her life. Something different than she’d gotten before. I wanted to ask her questions, to find out which parent I would live with and whether anyone would know they had been married once. Perhaps I would stay with Mother while Father went off and lived his own life, but perhaps…

Well, perhaps that was a problem for a different day.

“I can hear the hope,” I told her, but I couldn’t. I was scared to be leaving Fairy Vale. It was the only home I’d ever known. I’d been born there, raised there, and made friends there. Leaving was harder than I thought. I knew we were going to have many adventures in North Moon, but there were moments where I was filled with a deep panic because I didn’t think I was going to be able to survive without my friends. No one really understood why my parents were leaving. They knew Mother visited doctors and they knew that Father liked science, but I was quite sure that the people of Fairy Vale didn’t see a reason to go to a new place when your old home was perfectly fine.

“You’re going to be great in North Moon,” Mother said, squeezing my hand once more. She was so sweet to me. So kind. She always wanted to see me succeed. I understood that. I also knew that no matter what came next, she was probably scared. This was a big move for her. She was moving back to her hometown, so it would be familiar, but she would be ending her relationship with Father, and that was…

Well, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to think about it. I didn’t know anyone whose parents didn’t love each other anymore. They would probably be pretty angry to hear about my parents breaking up.

I wished I could ask Mother about what I’d heard. If she and Father could end their time together, would either of them end their time with me? I wasn’t a grownup, but I wondered if this sort of development meant that they could stop loving me at some point. Would I have to go find my own house, too?

“What’s that?” Mother said suddenly, and there was an edge to her voice that hadn’t been there a moment ago. She looked out into the darkness, peering straight ahead. She let go of my hand and grabbed onto the railing of the ship, staring. I couldn’t see anything, though, except a very pretty star.

“A star,” I told her.

“No,” she whispered. Then she uttered a word I’d never heard her say. “Fuck.”

I heard the sound of something crashing into the ship before I realized what was happening. A cannonball. An attack. It wasn’t a star I had seen. It was a light on a ship out in the darkness. It was a light from a ship that was hunting us.

We were just a regular ol’ boat. We weren’t anything special. Everyone on the ship was traveling to start a new life or visit people or perhaps just hoping to make some new purchases. No one on our ship was anyone particularly special. No one.

And then there was a second crash.

There had been one on each end of the ship, and Mother and I were in the middle. The jolt of the crash was too much, and she careened forward, falling right off the ship and landing in the water. I stood, frozen in place as I stared at the spot my mother was standing just a moment earlier. She was gone now, sinking deep into the darkness of the sea, and I couldn’t see where she had gone.

But I could hear the screams of the crew and the passengers behind me, and I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to look or what I was supposed to do. The other ship - a pirate ship, I knew - was in front of us now, and ropes were being thrown on board.

Chaos began to reign, and I tried to decide what I was supposed to do.

I knew pirates were bad. Villains. They were monsters. That was what everyone said, but I had never seen them up close and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do now. No one on the ship had talked about what to do if the pirates happened to show up. I only knew what to do when the rain was heavy and the decks became slick. I knew how to handle high winds and what to do if the ship started tossing and turning.

 I didn’t know what to do if my mother fell overboard because pirates were attacking.

And where was my father?

Should he have been out here on the deck with me and Mother?

I turned toward the sounds of the screams, shocked to see that there were fires on the ship. How had those started? What was happening all around me?

Why was there so much chaos?

And why didn’t I know what to do?

Someone should have told me. I was only a child. I was a kid. Someone should have sat me down and explained what I was supposed to do If our ship was attacked by pirates. At least that way, I would have had a plan. Mother always had a plan for everything. Whether we were going to a fancy dinner or we were preparing for our move, she had a plan.

So, why wasn’t there a plan for this?

My chest tightened as I realized that my mother probably wasn’t down in the darkness treading water. She was probably dead. Maybe my father was, too. Maybe they both were, and maybe I was going to be dead, too.

But I was too little to die.

And I wasn’t ready to die.

The girls I read about in books were always brave. They never backed down from a challenge. If one of them had been on the ship when it was being attacked by pirates, they would have grabbed a sword. I wasn’t brave enough to fight, but I could be brave enough to run.

Mother would have wanted me to run, and so I turned.

I scurried down the deck, making my way toward the front of the ship. Perhaps there would be answers there. Maybe there was an escape route I could utilize. Maybe someone would be there directing traffic and letting me know what I needed to do.

Someone would help me, wouldn’t they?

Maybe…

Or maybe not.

I stopped just short of falling off the front of the ship. It was gone. It was just…gone. Moments ago there had been a complete ship here, but not anymore. Jagged edges of wood jutted down and there was a huge drop down into the angry ocean. Had the sea always been so mad? Moments before, the waters had felt calm.

I opened my mouth and started screaming. I shouldn’t have. I should have been braver, but I couldn’t. There were extra feet on board the ship now. Pirates. They were here, and the sounds of death and dying filled the air.

Everyone was going to die.

I could smell the blood.

I knew the coppery scent well. It reminded me of the time Jimmy O’Hare punched his brother, Timmy, in the face. Timmy’s nose broke instantly and blood went everywhere. Even though we could all see it, we could smell it, too, and I’d never forget that scent for as long as I lived.

A moment passed and then I felt a hand clap over my mouth. I couldn’t scream anymore even though I wanted to. I wanted to fight, but two strong arms held me still against a warm body.

“Quiet, girl.”

I knew that voice. I tried to place it even though I couldn’t at first. Then I realized the hand over my mouth smelled like cookies.

Cook.

It was the cook.

Henry.

He was an old man with white hair and a big belly and he shouldn’t have been as strong as he was, but he pulled me tightly against himself and whispered.

“Not a sound.”

I obeyed him. The idea of not following his directions never crossed my mind. I just did what he said. Silently, he navigated his way to the opposite side of the ship and glanced over his shoulder at the chaos unfolding behind us. People were dying. Bleeding out. I heard the slicing of swords and the silence that came as each body fell. The pirates - that was who they were, I knew. Pirates - were yelling out to each other. They were shouting directions and using terms I wasn’t familiar with.

And then Henry set me down.

“We’re going to jump and then we’re going to be quiet. It’s going to be cold. You’re going to be silent, Eleanor. Do you understand?”

My mom was really dead. That was what I understood. I knew that he was dead serious, though, and I wasn’t ready to die. I had to do what Henry said or I was going to be as dead as my parents, and I didn’t want to be.

So, I nodded.

“Good. Not a word.”

He picked me up easily, held me close, and leapt from the side of the ship. We fell for what seemed like forever, and when our feet hit the water, I opened my mouth to scream. Instantly, water filled my mouth, choking me, and we sunk beneath the surface of the water for just a moment. When we came back up, I coughed, sputtering and choking. As soon as I stopped, Henry whispered.

“Not a sound, Eleanor.”

And then we stayed there in the darkness of the ship’s shadow.

It was dark outside. Even the moon seemed to be hiding behind clouds tonight because I couldn’t see much except for the ship burning and for the occasional body that fell into the water. Soon the sounds slowed, though, and then I heard the pirates yelling at each other. Eventually, the entire ocean seemed to fall silent, and we stayed where we were in the water.

I was cold.

I was shivering and cold and Henry was holding me so I wouldn’t drown. I wonder if my mother had drowned. She couldn’t swim very well. Neither could I. When the two of us had been splashing around the cover, it was only because the water was shallow enough that we could stand up if we needed to. This was different. The ocean was deeper than I could possibly imagine, and I wasn’t strong enough to swim in this water. Not really. Suddenly, though, I wanted to learn. I wondered if Henry was going to take care of me. I wondered if he would teach me to stay alive. Maybe he would teach me to swim.

We stayed there in the shadow of the ship, waiting in the water for the pirates to leave. We stayed as the ship burned around us.

We stayed until there was no one left alive.

And then we stayed a little bit longer.

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