Hello ,
Happy Friday!
With warm greetings from a beautiful Toronto summer day, I wanted to share something I’ve noticed with my course participants, especially in case you find yourself needing to apologize this weekend. I also made a short video about it, which you can watch here (IG, FB, LI):
Why your apology might not be landing:
You say, “I’m sorry.”
You explain yourself.
But they’re still upset. Why?
Because what we really long for is not only an explanation.
It’s to feel heard and understood.
Next time, before rushing into an apology with a justification, try reflecting back what you heard the other person say.
“I hear that you’re upset I was late and that it felt disrespectful to you. Did I get that right?”
This simple acknowledgment builds trust.
It helps them feel seen.
And it opens the door for a real conversation.
Only after a few rounds of really listening to the other person, reflecting back what you heard them say, may they be actually ready to receive your apology and explanation.
This is what Authentic Relating looks like in practice.
It’s not about being perfect, never needing to apologize. It’s about being present with the other person, even in the uncomfortable moments.
Please let me know if you use this and what you find. I'd love to hear from you!
Have a beautiful weekend, everyone!
Warmly,
Roxana
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