I'm writing this on the road, coming back from Orlando, so this one is a ramble turned newsletter. A lot has happened in the last couple of months.
The consulting gig
I took an EMS consulting gig where the people who hired me had similar intentions to mine, but needed them pointed in a different style. I made some mistakes going in. I wasn't clear on my goals, for myself or for them, and I didn't take the time a professional would have to tighten up the paperwork. It worked out okay in the end, and I learned a lot about boundaries and relaxing.
Every job I've ever had, I felt like I had to prove I was worthy. I don't know where I got that message, but I overwork, push hard, and try to be the smartest and the toughest. I have two speeds, 100 miles an hour or off. My wife and kids have told me for years that nobody can quite understand what I do for a living, and that's because when you're the storm, everything is chaotic and nobody can keep up.
On this contract I learned that they hired me to be me. That meant some hard conversations, because I've never wanted conflict with someone who's paying me, which is dumb. I also worked on boundaries. I silenced the phone at night and left the work phone behind on weekends, because I'm a consultant. I'm there to patch a hole and smooth out some edges, not to be the business. I realized the reason I never wanted to work for anybody again was that I was so tired of losing myself to them, and that's on me. We ended on good terms going into Dragon Con, and I've already worked an event for them since.