Did you forget what day it was yesterday? No? Just me, then.

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Hey, you!

Here is the email I usually send you on Mondays, coming on a Tuesday instead. Maybe Tuesday will turn out to be a WAY better day and I'll be glad I somehow?? forgot?? to press send yesterday, instead of just concerned for my mental faculties. 🤦‍♀️

I'll keep it short, and let you get to the Chapter of Night & Day that's waiting for you at the bottom of the email.

What I'm writing

I'm looking forward to writing the final chapter of Night & Day over on Discord! I'll be writing Chapter Eighteen there on Friday morning, then hope to roll right into the Epilogue and have the story complete by Sunday. I'm going to miss Jonathan and Ty, though!

By the way, how did I wind up with a character named Johnny and a character named Jonathan whose stories I'm writing at the same time? The mental faculties, I tell you...

I've been chipping away at As the Tallgrass Grows, book 4 of the Wild Ones series.

I'm now in the home stretch of writing this book, which is always my favorite part. Johnny and Owen have surprised me with the way their story unfolded--which I guess I should be used to from my characters at this point!--and I'm kind of infatuated with them.

To help you get as excited as I am, here's a quick teaser...

Owen’s forays into dating and sex had led him to believe that kissing was overrated. Maybe even a little gross. He found himself experiencing most kisses at a distance, noting with clinical interest what a strange ritual it was for people to mash their mouths together or awkwardly poke their tongues past each other’s teeth.

Maybe it was the anticipation, or maybe Johnny brought the same magic to this act that he seemed to bring to everything else, but Owen honest-to-fuck melted against him as Johnny’s lips covered his, a warm, firm press that felt like a claiming, but in the gentlest way. Just a sure, soft confirmation: you want me and I want you. Owen’s lips parted immediately and Johnny shifted to kiss his lower lip, tipping back Owen’s chin to change the angle, and then kissed his jaw, the corner of his mouth, and square on his lips again.

Owen threaded his hand through the thick, soft, golden hair the way he’d fantasized about doing, and held Johnny close to him, like if he let go Johnny might stop making him whimper and gasp with these small, close-mouthed kisses that had no right to leave Owen so absolutely undone.

Have a great week.

xo,

Rachel

find me in more places

Website | Rachel's Party Barn on Facebook | Instagram | Discord

my books

Long Winter | Signs of Spring | Burning Season | As the Tallgrass Grows

Jaywalking | Sleepwalker

***

NIGHT & DAY

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Jonathan sat next to the crib in Isabel's dark nursery with his head in his hands, trying to figure out how his life had gone from nearly perfect to a disaster in a matter of hours.

Granted, he probably should have realized that kissing Ty in the heat of the moment would have a price. Not to mention the cost of everything else they'd done after that. But he hadn't been able to resist. A dam inside him had broken and he'd been helpless to hold back the floodwaters after that.

Was this the wreckage he was left with now that the wave had passed? Ty gone from his life altogether?

The room was dark, but he squeezed his eyes shut anyway, like he could unsee the desperate, determined look on Ty's face when he'd said he was quitting. Jonathan hadn’t had to wonder if Ty meant he was leaving the job or the job and Jonathan, both.

Isabel stirred in the crib with a soft snuffling sound. She'd fussed the entire drive back but then fortunately gone back to sleep immediately when he'd brought her in from the car. He'd changed her clothes because the onesie she'd been wearing smelled of smoke. He hadn't bothered to change himself yet, and so the smell clung to him still.

Half-worried that his tumultuous thoughts would somehow disturb her sleep, Jonathan crept from her room and closed the door quietly behind him.

A normal person would have someone to call. Some trusted friend or family member who, even in the middle of the night, could come sit with his sleeping daughter so that he could go look for Ty. But Jonathan didn't have anyone like that. He'd never felt like he needed any friend but Natalie. The closest thing he had to a friend was Landry, and while Landry would likely help however he could, he had no experience caring for a baby.

That left Jonathan with no choice but to stalk around his dark house, staring at the shadows that shifted on the floor when the occasional car swept past, swearing he heard a clock ticking somewhere, though as far as he knew he didn't own one that wasn't digital.

When he heard the knock, at first he thought he was imagining that too. A soft, rapid rhythm, like heavy rain, and then nothing.

He glanced toward the foyer and frowned, and had just decided he was imagining things when another three knocks came—this one sharp and unmistakable. 

Two young people stood on his doorstep. At first he was completely baffled at the sudden appearance of strangers, and then he was completely baffled at the sudden appearance of two of Ty's sisters. Because that's who they were. They managed to look very different and yet each was similar to Ty in just enough ways that it was obvious.

"Jonathan?" asked a young woman who had to be either Danielle or Emily, because the one with the scrutinizing eyes was still a child, so she must be Sam. "We're looking for Ty."

Jonathan's heart, briefly distracted by his surprise, proceeded to plummet again, though he was so relieved to find Sam in one piece that he was still much less morose than before. "He's not here."

"Shit," hissed Sam, and her sister elbowed her.

"He's not answering his phone," the older girl explained. Her eyebrows drew together and her lip wobbled like she could cry, and Jonathan found himself holding the door open wider.

"Do you want to come in?"

He sat them down, restless with the urge to take care of them somehow, whether because it was displaced feelings for an absent Ty or because he knew Ty loved them, he wasn't sure. Whatever the reason was, he spent the next five minutes assembling cookies on plates and making tea, while Emily called Ty over and over on a cell phone set to speaker that she placed on the table. She and Sam both watched the screen with nervous anticipation, but each time, no one answered.

"Maybe if Sam were the one to call," Jonathan suggested quietly when he brought their cups.

"That might get his attention," Emily agreed, "but unfortunately, Sam can't find her phone."

Sam grimaced, as though this wasn't the first guilt trip she'd had tonight about having lost her phone.

"I'm surprised he's not answering you, either," Jonathan said, sitting down across from them and winding his fingers together restlessly in his lap. "But... he's very worried about Sam."

Now Emily was the one to grimace. "I'm sure he is." She glanced from Sam to Jonathan in some unspoken question, which Jonathan was helpless to interpret but that, judging by her shrug, Sam understood. Decision made, Emily turned back to Jonathan. "Everything seems like it's starting to go right for Ty. He got into UMKC, and he really likes spending time with you. He's finally out of our dark vortex of a neighborhood. If he'd known that our parents were spiraling, he would have dropped everything to go back and take care of Sam."

Jonathan swiftly put two and two together and slumped back in his chair, nodding. "So Sam has been staying with you, and you didn't tell Jonathan."

"Right," Emily said. Then she bit her lip. "Maybe you should call him?"

Jonathan had thought about it a dozen times since Ty had run off into the darkness. But he hadn't had anything to offer—then. If Ty had answered, all Jonathan would have done was beg him frantically to come back, which wouldn't have played well while Ty was in the middle of a search.

But now, Jonathan had news Ty would absolutely want to hear. "I could," he said, still tentative as he pulled up Ty's name on his screen, then hesitated for an extra breath before he dialed.

Ty didn't answer him, either. He gave a minute shake of his head to let the girls know, and the avid stares they'd fixed him with faded to disappointed ones, just as they had while watching Emily's phone.

"Maybe his phone is dead," Sam suggested. "It's even older than mine, and I know my battery life is crap."

"He's not going to come back here," Jonathan said stiffly, fighting the urge to call again. He texted instead. Your sisters are here. Sam is safe. Call me. The message went through but the dot didn't light up to show it was read.

"He might," Emily argued. "He can only look so long, and then he'll have to come home."

Come home. Jonathan's heart wrenched again. "I don't think he sees here as his home," he said quietly. "Earlier tonight, he quit."

Emily sucked in a breath, and even Sam's persistent moody frown deepened into one of real concern. "What?" Then she slumped back in her chair. “Of course he would blame himself.”

That much had been obvious, but hearing it said out loud made Jonathan feel slightly better about the basis for Ty's choice. If he were going to be dumped after the most satisfying sexual encounter of his life and with a person he'd wanted to spend every second with, then at least he couldn't fault Ty's desire to put his sisters first.

"He blames himself for putting me into danger I wasn't even in, because he wasn't there and neither was I?" Sam raised a skeptical eyebrow at her sister..

That recitation earned a glare from Emily, and Jonathan couldn’t resist reminding her, quietly, "He's very worried about you."

Sam's shoulders slumped. "I know."

Emily's phone stopped ringing, and for the first time since they'd sat down, she didn't immediately redial.

"So," Jonathan asked, "how long has Sam been staying with you?"

With a deep breath, Emily shrugged. "How long has our brother been staying with you?"

Jonathan flushed. "That long?" They both nodded, and Jonathan shook his head, still confused. "I don't understand why you didn't tell him."

Emily frowned at her cup of tea, which she hadn’t touched, and then noticing that Sam had already drank hers, she pushed the still-full cup in front of her sister. “He would have tried to shift all the responsibilities back onto himself. Make all the sacrifices. We thought he’d worry less if he could see that we’d been making it work for months already.”

Sam had already drained Emily’s cup of tea, so Jonathan rose to brew her a third cup. While he was at the counter, his back to them, Emily's forgotten phone rang again.

Jonathan spun back around, joining their exclamations of excitement while Emily scooped up the phone to answer. Her bright eyes told Jonathan that Ty was the one calling even before she said anything, and he leaned heavily back against the counter, deeply relieved. 

"Hey,” Emily exclaimed into the phone. “Did you get my messages? Yeah. We're at your place. Yes, me and Sam. Okay. See you soon." She ended the call and blew out a breath. "He's on his way."

Somehow, Jonathan was more nervous knowing he'd see Ty soon than he'd been when he'd worried he'd never see him again. He changed his clothes, then hovered too long outside Isabel's room, listening for her to stir and almost hoping that she would, just so he'd be kept occupied while he waited.

Finally, he heard Ty's key in the door, but hung back while his sisters launched themselves at him. His eyes flew over Ty, though, assuring himself he was all in one piece. And he was, though the absent smile for his sisters that made Jonathan’s heart flip flop was an exhausted one.

"Why weren't you answering your phone?" Emily demanded, her arms wrapped so tightly around his neck the muscles stood out in her slim biceps.

"I had like, two percent battery. I was trying to save it,” Ty managed. Sam was plastered to his other side, and he knocked his hip against her. His smile faded the longer he looked back and forth between his sisters. "What the fuck is going on?"

Sam took his hand and pulled him into the kitchen. "Come on."

Ty fell into step behind Sam, but then hesitated, seeming to notice Jonathan standing off to one side for the first time. Their eyes met for a moment that made Jonathan’s heart pound, but then Sam gave Ty’s hand an insistent tug and he followed her into the kitchen.

Jonathan followed them, putting his hands in his pockets so he didn’t give into the urge to wring his hands.

Ty settled at the table with his sisters, and Jonathan resumed his station making tea. While Emily repeated the account she'd given Jonathan about her and Danielle's decision to work together to be sure Sam was taken care of—and not at their parents' mercy—Jonathan silently filled a fourth teacup and then stirred in milk and honey until it was fragrant and nearly white. He placed it in front of Ty during a lull in the talking.

Their eyes met a second time. This time, the girls noticed.

"Maybe we should be going," Emily murmured.

Ty had been quiet while she relayed her story, but at this suggestion, he looked back at her, eyes narrowed, and broke his silence. “Not before you explain why you thought you had to lie to me.”

Emily’s expression crumpled, but next to her, Sam, who’d been listening with hunched shoulders to Emily’s recounting of the decision to leave Ty out of the loop about their parents, sat up straighter.

“Because then you would have had an excuse to give up everything and come back.”

“An excuse?” Ty echoed incredulously.

Sam almost faltered, clearly unaccustomed to squaring off with her brother, but instead she hesitated only a moment then seemed to deliberately square her shoulders. “You were looking for one as soon as you took this job and started looking into going to school.”

“Sam, hey,” Emily said quietly. 

Ty balled his hands into fists where they rested on the table. “It’s not a—worrying about how you’re doing isn’t an excuse for anything. It’s the most important thing, and it’s my responsibility!”

Sam looked like she was about to say anything, but Emily squeezed her arm, quelling her, and spoke instead. “It’s all of our responsibility, Ty,” she protested. “Maybe when I was just a kid, everything had to fall on your shoulders. But I’m not a kid anymore, and neither is Danielle. We can all pitch in. Thanks to you we had our turns getting out of that house. Now it’s your turn. And Sam’s. She’s doing great staying with us.” She gave their sister a quick, fond smile. “Kent says she’s his best study buddy.”

Ty just stared at them, as though totally at a loss. Jonathan wasn’t sure what exactly made him look so despondent, but he wanted it to stop. He wanted to wrap his arms around him. He wanted to beg him to stay. But for now, he kept quiet. It wasn’t his place to interrupt; he felt borderline intrusive merely standing in the same room.

“And speaking of looking after Sam,” Emily said gently, “I’d better get her home.”

Jonathan cleared his throat softly. "You're welcome to stay here tonight."

Emily flashed him a grateful smile, but shook her head. "Oh, thank you, but no. We drove Kent's car. We're fine. Sam has school tomorrow. She should sleep in her own bed."

Sam was watching Ty. "Are you still mad?" For the first time, there was a hint of uncertainty about her that made her look her age.

Ty slowly shook his head. "Not... exactly." He visibly swallowed a yawn. "I think I'm too tired for that."

"Well," Sam said warily, "you can yell at me tomorrow, when you've gotten some rest."

Ty walked them to the door, Jonathan trailing behind, and after several hugs and murmured words Jonathan couldn't overhear, the girls were gone and he and Ty were alone.

Ty turned to him with a cautious look on his face. "Should I have gone with them? I know I told you I was quitting. So, maybe, I..."

"I didn't accept your resignation," Jonathan said immediately. "I don't want you to go."

"Okay," Ty said softly. He looked so tired.. "I don't want to go either."

The foyer separated them, just a few steps. But Jonathan wasn't sure whether he could bring himself to close that distance a second time, given how quickly he'd learned to regret it the first.

"If what happened between us drove you away," he began, the words rough, "then I'm sorry. I wouldn't—we don't have to—"

Ty quickly shook his head. “No. I'm sorry for saying that I wanted to quit. I only said it because—I was scared, okay? It felt like I was being punished by the world for finally getting something I wanted, something that was just for me."

Jonathan just stared at him. Did he really mean...?

Ty smiled, with a soft laugh. "Yes, I mean you."

"Oh." Jonathan blinked. "I want you too."

Ty's smile faded, his eyes wide and so vulnerable Jonathan’s heart ached. He swallowed. "Really?"

Jonathan nodded hard, and barely had time to open his arms before Ty had flung himself into them. He held Ty to him tightly, kissing his hair. Ty's arms were tight around him, but he felt heavy in his embrace, like he was half-asleep on his feet. Jonathan could understand; now that the adrenaline of his worry had faded, he was woozy with exhaustion, and he could only imagine it was twice as bad for Ty who'd been literally running around his old neighborhood, hunting for Sam.

"We need to sleep," he murmured into Ty's smoke-scented hair. “We can talk more in the morning.”

Ty nodded against his chest, and hand-in-hand and by unspoken agreement, they walked straight to Jonathan's room without parting in the hallway, stripped down to their underwear and crawled back under the rumpled blankets they'd left a few hours before.