Last Summer Newsletter of 2025

Aug 25, 2025 12:55 am

P D Ball’s Newsletter No. 17

First Word:

I hope you’re doing well and enjoying the summer! It’s heating up where I am, but hopefully wherever you are, it’s cooler and enjoyable.

I’m in Japan and, near the end of summer, the cicadas come out in full swing and scream with everything they have. When I first moved here, I thought something was wrong with the power lines, that they were broken and electricity was jump all over. That’s how loud they are here.

Now, I’m used to it, and their song brings the end of summer. But not yet, they’ve got a few weeks left to fill up the evenings.

If you’re curious, here’s what they look and sound like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDvWANnqtKs&ab_channel=SegoNature

In writing news, I’m making progress on editing the first volume of the new book, and I’ve included the first two chapters here. I hope you enjoy them!

Vol. 2, Book 1: Tears Of A Dying God

Chapter 1: The First Loss

It’s not every day you lose your godhood.

The clouds were fluffy, wispy, up above. Slowly moving across the blue sky. Grass poked into my naked back and buttocks, as my dress had been torn apart. I pulled my shift down to adjust. Didn’t get up. Crows cawed. Foxes yipped. The smell of pine wafted through the air.

Five hundred dead bodies lay in a circle around me. They’d attacked me and suffered for it, though I didn’t directly kill them. They fought a deity. A touch unwise. Though, in all honesty, they’d won.

I lay on the grass not a god, but a girl. Powerless, slightly thirsty, and tired. Annoyed they ruined my dress. I liked this dress.

Closed my eyes for a bit, let the sun soak into me.

But eventually I had to get up. It’d be a creepy, morbid night with all these bodies lying around. Worse if they started the zombie apocalypse on this world. Probably should put some distance between myself and here, in any direction. And I had to find a replacement dress now, check if any of them brought food and water. Gold or coins, too, I suppose. Five hundred, thirty-seven corpses.

I wondered if their last thoughts were happy in their success. Fulfilled even.

Standing, stretching out my arms and legs, bending my back, I reached for the heavens and shouted as loud as I could, “Congratulations!” Then, more quietly to the nearest corpses around my person, “You beat me, stole my divinity, and you’re all dead. Congratulations.”

Inky black crows landed on nearby trees. Watching, making sure these humans really were food. When they determined the bodies didn’t move, they’d feast. For now, the hungry birds were wary. One cawed. A bunch joined in. The crows were no longer mine and were no longer speaking to me.

I stared at them, stunned and surprised when I shouldn’t be. Little traitors! You are mine! Talk to me, protect me!

But, no, they couldn’t. They were the first loss. And there were others. I could no longer perceive the extra dimensions, nor draw energy from them. I would age now, too, at a rate not of my choosing. Damn.

Though, a part of me was relieved. The Others were coming. They’d soon breach their prison, I knew, and who would stand against them on this world? I shivered. They terrified me. It was good I was a girl for I didn’t have to stand against them now. I was nothing to them, could offer nothing to them. They wouldn’t even notice my existence. Hopefully.

I could return to that awful place, their prison, face those beings, challenge the trap, maybe regain my divinity. But, no, not this time, not tomorrow, nor ever again. It would win. No longer could I best it, that hell of suffering and misery, for it had tasted my flesh, dined on my being. It would win and losing there would be much, much more final than today.

Now I could, well now I could live, make friends, take a lover, start a family, build my kingdom, introduce weaponry to conquer this continent. I could do all these things, I told myself, I was better off now.

Yet monsters roamed these lands, and little girls were food out here. Bandits who would take from me things best left unsaid. And the enemy armies invading my lands, if they captured me, execution would be a mercy. I shuddered, looking around the tree line. Yesterday, nothing and no one could harm me. Today, I wasn’t safe. What was hunting out there?

I wanted to scream again, swear at the heavens and gods and others, but I kept my mouth shut. Unwise to draw attention to myself here, unwise to name deities and dark beings.

Raised a fist, stomped my feet, shook my head, sighed, started searching the corpses. Nice day out, sunny, cool breeze, good for corpse searching. Fun times.

It took a long while to find a suitable dress. The wizardesses tended to be older, but that wasn’t the main problem. It was the evacuation of life’s necessities upon death that messed up most of the clothing. I ended up with a pale blue dress and only a touch of a grass stain, so that worked. White frills around the neck and wrists. A little too cute for me, but beggars and all that.

Not a single one of them had brought food. Or water. They must have thought, ‘not a problem! I’ll just go steal the powers of a goddess and be home by dinner!’ No, sir and lady mages, no more dinner for you.

A few of them had thought to bring knives, and that would make my life easier. I took a couple satchels, too. An extra dress, just in case. A bunch of coins between them, so I was good in that department. I couldn’t bring myself to take an extra set of undergarments. The corpses could keep those.

By the time I was ready to leave, the sun lead the direction, low in the sky. West, I had to go one week west. My kingdom lay there, soldiers waiting for me. Though a cavalry unit was heading toward me even now. Given that they had horses, I probably only needed three or so days of walking.

Another sigh. Life was easier as a god. Definitely do not recommend giving up the divinity. Or, in my case, losing it.

***

Night had fallen, I found an open space under some trees and cleared a firepit. Stared at the twigs. Yesterday, this would already be a fire for me, from a mere thought.

I had steel, no flint. Striking knives against each other wasn’t working. Damnit! I should have grabbed one of the dead wizard’s belts or drawstrings. I could have made a bow, wrapped the belt or string around a piece of wood, and created a drill to rub against a block of wood. Without those tools, all I had were sticks to rub together, and that would take forever.

Only if I wanted warmth. And freedom from insects.

It was just three more nights at most before my knights found me. Maybe I could tough it out. I hugged my knees up to my chest. I wanted fire. Alright, that left me two methods. One, I could carve a hole in a piece of wood, then put a branch into it, hold in my hands, rubbing them back and forth as fast as I could. It would take a long, long time, chafe my skin.

Two, dig a trench into the base wood instead, rub a branch like a wedge back and forth until friction got it alight. It’d wear out my muscles faster but save my skin. I decided to try that one.

A long while later, arms tired and complaining, no fire.

Wait. Holding up my wrist, I looked at my gold and charcoal bracelet. Perseidian iron, magic dampening stuff. It didn’t stop my powers before because mine came from the divine. But no human mage touching this iron could use magic. They’d taken my divinity, but I wondered if I could use their magic.

Only one way to find out!

I took off my bracelets, rings, anklets, then earrings and necklace, laying them down on my backpack. The rarest iron in the world, I didn’t want to lose it. Plus, it protected me from direct magical attacks. Anger rose up in me then, thinking of those mages! How they trapped me! Held me down, carved runes into my back to steal the divine.

Shaking, I drew my hand up and released my rage, trying to send out a burst of energy. Nothing. I tried heating up the wood, nothing.

Nothing but a fifteen-year-old girl. Damnit.

I put the jewelry back on because I didn’t want to lose it. And strangely enough I’d come to like the gold and charcoal metal daintily covering my wrists and ankles, guarding my neck, hanging from my ears, and wrapped around my fingers. It was familiar, felt safe, a part of me now.

It wasn’t so bad, I told myself, not having magic. I didn’t have any when I’d come to this world, and I’d survived just fine. But knowing now who I am, its loss hit me hard. Was I really a person? A girl?

A branch broke off in the forest. I froze, listening.

“Over here, you think?”

“Not so loud, you idiot!”

Damn. I got up quickly, moving to a large tree, putting it between me and the voices. All the mages were dead. Who were these people?

Heavy footsteps kicking the leaf litter, another branch broken.

Grabbing the satchels, I decided to move in the direction they were coming from. With luck, I’d skirt them and they’d keep going forward. Not sure where that’d leave me, but hopefully far from these guys. I headed away from them for a bit, then back toward the east.

After a while, the forest began getting thicker. I stopped, cupped my ears in the direction I’d come, listening. Wind across the bows of trees, the rustling of leaves, a squirrel suddenly chittering.

That meant something, someone, alarmed it. They were following me.

I ducked under the bow of a nearby large tree. It’s lowest branches fanned out, away, leaving a soft depression underneath. It was gentle as I lay down on my stomach, folding my arms under my chin.

I waited, watching.

All too soon for my preference, they came. Footsteps and bushes brushing and scraping against clothing in the direction I’d come. Then I saw them. Two men, each leading a horse. The first looking at the ground, pointing in my direction. The other, glancing side to side.

Maybe I could take them. I’d trained in combat in Valhalla, fought alongside the Vikings, against the titans. Battled the gods even. Yet, I was just a little girl now. With a fifteen-year-old girl’s strength. Goddamn those mages!

I bolted. Away, as fast as I could, into the thicker brush. Maybe their hoses couldn’t follow, maybe grown men would have a harder time than me.

“There she is!”

Crashing behind me, branches being pushed out of the way.

I ducked and wove under low branches, through paths only a small girl could go – wishing I was a squirrel myself now! – but they followed. Squeezing past some new aspen and heather, I burst into a wide meadow, filled with horses, men, campfires.

“Whoa! You startled me there!” An older man pissing.

“Holy shit,” I muttered, staring at the encampment. “Whose army are you?”

He pulled up his pants, tied up his drawstring, saying, “That depends, my lady.” Then, peered closer, “Or are you a farm girl in some stolen clothing?”

I folded my arms. “I want to see your commanding officer.”

“Ha! Do you now?”

Crashing through the bushes getting closer behind me.

“Never mind!” I said, deciding perhaps it was better if I were a horse thief. I ran into the camp, to the nearest horse and began undoing its reigns.

He caught up to me, grabbing my arm, “Not so fast, girl.” He pulled on my arm, turning me around, “That’s a hanging offense.”

“I’ll . . . I’ll buy it. I’ve got gold!”

Behind him, the men pushed through the bushes. “Hold her!”

I didn’t disintegrate the man holding me, mainly because I no longer could, and I pulled my arm away. “Who are you guys?”

“We’re the wizards’ steel. The mages’ army.”

“Ah, fudge.”

“Fudge?”

“I’m trying to quit swearing.”

Chapter 2: One Kind Soldier

Whatever warmth I had gained by running through the underbrush was fading as the night crept on. Standing outside a large brown canvas tent, listening to the two men who’d tried to capture me, I hugged myself. Why oh why didn’t I think to take an overcoat? I was daydreaming about heading back to the field of bodies and picking out a nice warm and heavy cloak.

“Are you cold, lass?”

“Yes.”

“You can take my overcoat then.” My new guard, preventing me from leaving, the guy I caught marking his territory on a bush, took off his coat and wrapped it around me.

I hated myself for it, but I wondered just exactly where this piece of cloth had been. It smelled of men and sweat and horses. But, he’d given me warmth. That deserved something. “Thank you, good sir.”

He smiled in return. Most of his teeth were there.

I tried to focus on what was being said in the tent.

“You’re sure about that?” said a voice I presumed was the commander or guy in charge if that wasn’t his rank.

“A great many bodies in a large circle. Some of them wizards and wizardesses I knew.”

“How many?”

“Uhm, sir, it was then, ah-”

“You didn’t count the bodies?”

“No, sir.”

“You see,” said the second scout’s voice, “that’s when we saw this girl. Pilfering the dead.”

“Ah-ha. And? Why did you follow her instead of determining whether any of the mages were alive?”

“They were dead, sir.”

“And you know this how?”

“None of them were moving.”

A long pause. Probably uncomfortable for the scouts who, thankfully to me, didn’t seem all that bright. Or, they actually were, since they caught me, the mass-murderer of mages here, but couldn’t get their point across. Honestly, though, the mages killed themselves. I didn’t cause their deaths. But I sure wasn’t unhappy with that outcome.

“And why did you think this girl was so important?”

“Well, sir, she, uhm, must have something to do with it all.”

Peeking in, I could just see him nodding his head in complete and utter disbelief, raised eyebrows and all, “A girl? I see. Something to do with the fact that all our mages, our lords and ladies, are dead? Did she also melt our castle?”

I fought the urge to put up my hand. I could answer that! A resounding yes. I told their castle’s stone to return to a younger, much hotter, form. Probably, though, it was best not to admit such things. The mages who’d attacked me, they were well trained in capturing deities – imprisoning deities, stealing their magic – and I, well, I didn’t want any more mages on this world. When the castle walls, ceiling and floors turned to molten rock, it took their libraries and history with it. No more knowledge, no more mages.

I did it slowly, though. Gave the people inside plenty of warning to escape. But not enough time to, say, categorize and remove the most important books and important cultural items. More like, grab your backpack and get out amount of time. It is not for the divine to kill mortals. Unless they take what is not for mortals, which the mages most certainly did.

And this encampment, this army, was the result. All the non-magical workers of the castle.

I was an idiot. Sure, I thought of them enough to not kill them all when destroying their castle, but not enough to realize they’d be around after the battle, impeding my ability to leave. I deserved getting captured.

“Something wrong, lass?”

“Oh. Yes. It’s troubling that so many people died. I can’t get my mind off of it.” Shit, I’d not listened to the rest of what they were saying.

The commander’s voice, louder, “Send the girl in.”

It was a command tent. Two tables, one with maps, one functioning as a desk, with chairs around. The two scouts who’d chased me off to one side, looking rather sullen.

The commander himself was a short, stocky man, brown hair, looking slightly past his prime but still in good shape. Or perhaps he was simply dead tired. It’d probably been a difficult day for him, rescuing and organizing everyone, regrouping to this encampment. He looked up at me, straightened his shoulders and posture, brightened up a bit, stood, smiled, gesturing at a seat in front of him, “Please.”

Taking hold of my dress, I curtsied, “My lord.” I tried not to wince however painful this was for me. A deity to be worshiped. And now a girl! Giving obeisance for others. I hated myself, but I wasn’t sure if it was for being a girl or being so very arrogant. Why oh why did I take this form before losing my powers? I knew, I already knew the answer, but I wouldn’t give it to myself just now. No, I was too annoyed with my choices to give in to comfort.

But already I missed him, the big man. Morry. I wondered if I’d see him again. Not if these people figured out who I was or thought me a thief.

“I’m no lord. Captain Gyges, of the Mage’s army. Though,” he sat, “we seem to be without mages.”

I nodded my head, saying in my head, ‘don’t confess, don’t confess, don’t confess.’ I kinda wanted to. ‘Yes, Captain, I killed them all. What are you going to do about it?’ Nope, bad idea. Shush, mind!

“My scouts here, ah, report that you were pilfering the bodies of the deceased.”

“Pilfering is perhaps the wrong word. I found myself, uhm, entirely without supplies. My horse ran off with all of my belongings. And my dress was horribly torn in the process. With the temperature sure to drop, as unfortunate and repulsive as it is, I needed to procure warmer clothing.”

“And you consider this dress to be warmer clothing?”

“It was the best I could find. Most were soiled.” I needed to distract him, “Also, they, sorry, the unfortunate deceased, had no food or water.”

“Ah. We have plenty and will provide that for you, of course.” He nodded to the solder who’d pissed in front of me, “See to it.”

“Captain,” one of them stepped forward, “why did she run? If she did nothing wrong, why did she run from us?”

“Perhaps the smell?” he said. “Think, you idiots. A young maiden finds hundreds of corpses and you. What is she going to think?”

Standing, I curtsied to the scouts, “Exactly that, good sirs, forgive me. I was most frightened.”

By the look on his face, he didn’t believe me. But that didn’t matter. He was just a scout.

“There. Thank you, that will be all.”

The scouts left. I guess being a little girl had its advantages sometimes.

The captain put his hands on the table. “Now that we’ve got that finished with, my lady, who are you and what is your business here?”

What to tell him? Not that I was Princess Cayce, ruler of Nevarrelund, sole survivor of my family and soon to be queen. The mages might have explained they were trying to kill me. I thought about claiming to be an earl’s daughter, but he might know them all, depending on his education. Probably not, given that these guys were out of my governance, but maybe.

So, I made it up. “I’m Baron Leafson’s daughter, Sarah. Uh, lovely to make your acquaintance.” I fought the urge to stand and offer him my hand. I used to wonder why I came to this world and found the answer in a mirror. It lead to a multidimensional trap, one that housed this world’s gods and my brother. And the Others, who were so unlike us as to be disturbing. But I certainly didn’t come here to be stripped of my powers, to be a fifteen-year-old girl. That part had to be a miscalculation on my previous self’s part.

Or maybe I was the miscalculation, since I was me now.

If only I could remember my past life as a god. Then, I could accomplish much here.

No! I didn’t want to! Not that, not that life. I came here, to this planet, for a reason, and it wasn’t to conquer. And besides, I only knew this life, the friends waiting for me back at my castle. Why erase myself under all those memories?

“Lady Sarah?” He’d folded his hands on the desk, waiting.

“Sorry, forgive me, lost in thought. I . . . was wondering how my family is doing. What was that?”

“I said that you are days away from your family’s lands. Days by horseback. Whyever did you come here?”

“Uh, bandits, I’m afraid. At first, it was just a camping trip with my, uhm, fiancé to be and his family. Bandits attacked and I lost my way.”

“Bandits? We will have to double our guard, then.”

“Double?” That would make sneaking out difficult.

“Our force isn’t at full capacity. I’m sorry, these details do not concern you. So, somehow you managed your way here. Tell me,” he leaned forward, “did you see the mages’ battle?”

“Only the aftermath. There was a flash, like lightning, and when I found the clearing, the bodies were everywhere. In a circle, I mean. A giant circle of the deceased.” Hoping my young face looked saddened, I lowered my gaze, “Honestly, I’ve never seen so many bodies.”

“I’m sure. You saw a flash of lightning and rode toward it?”

“Yes. Curiosity bests me often.”

“I’m frankly surprised you survived this long. It must have taken you days to reach this place.”

“I’m famished, it’s true. And was very cold when your men frightened me. I was trying to start a fire but,” I leaned forward to meet him, “it’s very difficult without flint and steel.” Or, you know, a flamethrower. I could use one of those right now. I needed to distract the man from his line of questioning, “Now that you have rescued me, Captain, can you spare a few men to escort me to my father’s holdings? He would be most grateful and recompensate you, I’m sure.”

“Alas, my lady, I cannot spare the men. I have five hundred mages to bury.”

‘Five hundred, thirty-seven,’ I did not say. Rather, “Yes, of course. Allow me to help in any way I can, Captain.”

“Help?”

“In any way I can.”

“Perhaps you can provide good company to my wife. Because you are a noblewoman, you shall stay with us, in our tent. Though we are a professional army, I would worry if you were to seek alternative accommodations.”

I did not sigh outwardly, I certainly didn’t, nor pout, though I really wanted to, but instead said, “It would be my pleasure.” How would I escape the commander’s tent? Especially with his wife keeping me company!

“Well then, I shall have my man here take you to our tents. And I shall see you in a bit, Lady Sarah.”

I rose, curtsied again, “Captain.”

And that was it. My audience was done.

My knights were coming from the west to meet me here. But not so many, perhaps fourteen or so. I wondered if the big man would be with him – I missed him terribly then! – and hoped not. These guys would almost certainly recognize my standard, and the captain would probably work out who I was. The mages most likely filled him in on the details, that they were all about killing Princess Cayce – and thank the gods they didn’t have any pictures to show him – but once they figured that out, they’d be happy to finish the job.

So, Morry would be better off rejoining our main army. If he came here, if he found me in this army, he’d likely get himself killed trying to rescue me. But he was almost certainly coming, probably leading the cavalry. He would. He’d want to see me safe, escort me home.

Maybe even hold hands. I squeezed my eyes closed at that thought. God damnit. A teenage girl’s body!

One thing was clear. I had to escape on my own before my soldiers arrived.

Damn.

***

Author’s note: until I get this fully edited, it’s still available on my Patreon if you can’t wait. I’ve decided to keep the $5/mo. tier open for the first 20 people who sign up:

To join, click here:

https://www.patreon.com/user/membership?u=32955303