P D Ball’s Newsletter No. 19

I hope this newsletter finds your autumn going well!

Contents:

-         First words

-         Bonus chapter, which is not cannon, and is a joke

-         More Free books!

First Words:

I’ve included a story here that is probably more suitable for April Fools. Yet, you get it here, today. I wrote this chapter because a bunch of readers commented on the necklaces Cayce gave her generals and majors in Book 4, before the Battle For the Barclay Duchy. The necklace is made out of perseidian iron, to protect them against direct magical attacks, but the jeweler made it for girls, thinking it was for Cayce’s ladies in waiting. So, it depicts a girl carrying an umbrella with five diamonds in it. After giving the men the necklace, Cayce dubbed them “The Parasol Patrol.”

This next part is a bit convoluted, especially if you don’t watch Japanese anime (cartoons). Because of the cute nature of the necklace, several readers decided that these functioned to transform the men into Super Sailors, from the Sailor Moon universe. Basically, the 1990s anime Sailor Moon had several characters, both teenage girls and boys, able to transform into magical girls. They would then protect Tokyo, or perhaps the world, from demons, witches and other bad actors. For its time, the anime was very popular, and remains popular in America, though Japan has largely moved on.

So, I wrote this chapter as a joke, for these readers, and am including it here for everyone to read. It has nothing to do with the larger Cayce story. It’s just a joke, written to indulge these fans. I suppose the story takes place somewhere in Book 4, before the end (but it really isn’t part of the story). It’s posted below. Apologies in advance!

In writing news: I’m about halfway through editing Book 6. Briony is also about halfway finished narrating Book 2. Also, I still have codes for Book 1’s audible for the USA and UK. If anyone would like a free 6.5 hour audible book, write me at: pdballwrites@gmail.com

Princess Cayce: The Parasol Patrol Secret Wars:

Standing on a hill, rocky outcropping behind us, my generals and I, majors and Maitlan overlooked a steep valley. Sunny day, clear sky, except for the errant puffy cloud hanging overheard. Beyond a narrow but swift creek, was a short meadow full of green grass and little white flowers. Robed figures entered it from the far side.

“Mages,” said Morrentz, looking dire as ever. “I count six.”

“Same, six,” said Brundle. “They’re definitely coming for you, my lady.”

“And there!” pointed Rand. “The grand magister!”

“Damn. I don’t know. I could loose a blast from here, maybe kill a few of them.”

“Hmm. Not a great plan,” said the big man. “They’re still too far out. I say we break into teams, take them out quietly.”

Maitlan, hand on the parasol girl necklace, diamonds glinting in the sunlight, moved uncomfortably close to me, “You really think these small pendants of perseidian iron will stop their magic?”

Looking over, I took a step back just to make some distance, “Only direct attacks. You want to be as close as possible before attacking.”

“And our weapons?” He nervously ran his thumb across the figure, touching each of the five diamonds.

Morry’s right hand fell to his dagger, “They don’t wear armor, mages. If you can get close enough, one swing should do it.” His greatsword hung over his back, hungry.

“Maitlan,” said Gun, “put that thing under your shirt lest its glitter tip them off.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your lordership,” Gun bowed low, heavily muscled arms outstretched, wry smile on his face, “forgive me for missing your honorifics.”

Before Maitlan could get a word in, I walked between them, “Guys! Let’s focus. Mage killing time, not masculine chest puffing up time. Brundle? You think splitting up is a good idea?”

“I don’t like it. But if we all move together, we’re too easy a target for their magic. If we split into two teams, stay in the trees, we can ambush them before they cross the halfway point of that larger meadow.”

“I’ll protect the princess,” said the boy earl.

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I said, “Ok, Maitlan and Morry with me. Brundle, Rand and Gun, go for their rears. I guess. We’ll go around the front.” It was a good idea to split those two and I hoped the big man’s scary visage could keep Maitlan’s teenage boy urges in check.

“Princess, that puts you in considerable danger.”

“Morry, out of all of us, I’ve got the most iron. And, you know, unrestrained magical power. I’m good.”

“My lady,” Brundle began, “perhaps Morry’s correct in this case and you should remain out of sight.”

“Not this time, I think. Listen, I’m their target. If they spot me in the front, it gives you more time to kill them. And it’ll be a lot easier for you if they’re distracted. My only concern is that maybe Morry and Maitlan shouldn’t be too close to me.” Because, I thought to myself, once I release the magic within, everything around me is going to burn to the ground.

“Nonsense!” shouted Maitlan, a little too eager. “Cayce, I’ll stay with you.”

“If they see us, Princess, we’ll split up for all the good it will do us. But you’d better blast as many as you can in that case. Like you loosed at the tower. Only this time, don’t miss.”

It’d be the first time I fought a mage. My blasts punched fist-sized holes through three feet of stone. They’d kill a mage easily. At least, that’s what I told myself.

***

We made our way down the hill, hopefully undetected. Tye was a clairvoyant, and the most powerful living mage. He probably knew we were here. Hopefully, hopefully, the perseidian iron kept us hidden.

“Here,” said the big man quietly, in front of thick brush, and he crouched down, “let’s stop here. Just up ahead, they’re coming this way.”

Through the bushes running alongside the tree line, I could just make out three figures about halfway across the meadow and heading closer and closer toward us. Not quite our way but angled to pass nearby. They were in Brundle’s group’s range, but this was worrisome.

“You see the other three?” I whispered.

A loud, arrogant voice, “Already behind you, Princess Cayce, errant child.”

I twirled around, blue and yellow flames running up and down my arms, little arcs of lightning crackling about, Morry grabbed Maitlan, dragging him out of my deadly aura.

A giant log suddenly slammed into my chest, the air rushing out of my lungs, and I flew back until hitting a tree, vision tunneling, I tried to focus, bring the energy back in full force, but it began to dissipate.

“Princess!” shouted the big man. Then he reached for the sky, jumping up, his body impossibly twirling, a golden light wrapping around him, and a girl’s voice rang out, “Moon Purisam Powa- Meiku-Ap!” (Moon Prism Power Make-up!) Morry’s outline took on that of a shapely girl, his massive upper body becoming slender, a golden-red hourglass figure, blue and pink light scintillating in the air around her and then wrapping around her body into a one-piece bathing suit, suddenly becoming white cloth, the parasol diamond girl a broach holding a sailor blue collar with white stripes, and very, very short, frilled skirt that didn’t reach much past her hips.

The girl spun slowly, landing on the grass and, crossing her arms, her high-pitched voice rang out, “Ai to seigi no sera bishoujo senshi Seira- Mu-n! Tsuki ni kawatte, oshioki yo!”

I broke my no swearing rule, “What the fuck?” That was Japanese, I was sure of it! But I could only translate a little – “I will punish you in the name of love!” and some other words. Jesus!

Tye took a step back, bewilderment on his face, when Maitlan suddenly began spinning, this time blue and white light streaming out of him becoming her, arms outstretched, “Ma-kuri Sta- Powa- Meiku-Ap!” (Mercury Star Power Make-up!) and she landed on the ground in a tight blue and white one-piece, oversized light blue bow tie attached to her costume above her chest by the diamond parasol girl, tiny, tiny frilled blue skirt barely covering her behind, knees bent together to protect her virgin purity and, putting her hands together, she shouted, “Ma-kuri Baburuze Burasto!” (Mercury Bubbles Blast!) Watery bubbles blasted out of her delicate hands, smashing Tye backwards into a tree.

And that’s when I noticed that both sailor girls were wearing knee-high boots to match, sporting golden tiaras, and frilly cloth bracelets. Huh.

The mage to Tye’s right, waving and waving his hands at the new girls, nothing happening. Their perseidian iron still protecting them.

A golden cone emanated from Sailor Morry, hit the useless mage, instantly turning his body into a dust statue of himself, which blew away in the breeze.

The other mage got himself together by then, was pointing at the sky, bringing down liquid fire onto the girls.

I slapped my face, trying to wake up, but I wasn’t dreaming, and it was painful and hard to breathe. Tye had likely broken my ribs.

“A-!” screamed Sailor Morry as the fire glanced past her arm while she danced away, “itai yo!”

Sailor Maitlan twirled about, somehow holding an evanescent harp in her hands, strumming on the cords, cute voice shouting, “Akuwa Rapusodii-!” (Aqua Rhapsody!) Thick blue ribbons of energy wove around her, then reached outward to the mage, wrapping around him, his struggles ineffective and he, too, became a dust statue, soon spreading out in the wind.

Grand Magister Tye’s eyes were wide with horror when he stepped forward, black circle emanating away from him, a dark cylinder of light rising up from the circle into the sky, and he was suddenly gone. We’d have to fight him another day.

Then Sailor Morry was in front of me, her white schoolgirl outfit not even remotely modest. She tossed aside the log pinning me to the tree, then touched my chest, saying, “Moon Hi-ringu Powa-!” (Moon Healing Power!)

The weight off me, I could suddenly breathe, but it wasn’t just that. She’d used some kind of healing power on me.

Leaning in close, her long, long blond locks not quite touching the ground, and her impossibly large blue eyes opening and twinkling, she winked and touched my chest, saying, “Chotto matte, ne. Ano saite mage-san wo koroshimasu. Soshite, modotekuruyo! Koko de matte!” (Wait a moment, ok. I'm going to kill those mages! Then, I'll be right back! Just wait here!)

Then, she rushed off down the hill toward the other mages, where I could just hear the sounds of fighting and cute girls screaming out their powers.

A rose suddenly appeared in my face as Sailor Maitlan bowed low, arm straight out toward me, screaming, “Tsukiatte kudasai! Aishiteru yo!” (Please like me! I love you!)

“Maitlan, Jesus, just go, please go help the others? I’m good here, ok?”

She nodded, bowing, skipped off toward the enemy, and I could just hear over the din more bubbles blasting.

Alright. So that happened. I shuffled around to watch the girls spinning in the air, high pitched voices yelling out their planetary magic, and mages all being turned into dust. It took them a while, was really cute, and accompanied by catchy guitar and violin solos.

I wished I was high. This would be really good high. Time for Morry’s grandfather’s opium that I didn’t bring. Sigh.

***

Then men had all gathered round in a circle. I slowly approached.

Morry, staring at the ground, kicked a rock. “We’re all agreed then?”

“What’s that?” asked Brundle.

“This stays secret. We’re not telling a soul about this. Not a soul.”

“Agreed.”

“Agreed.”

“Absolutely.”

“Agreed.”

“Yeah,” I said, eyes wide, trying not to smile, but smiling like a fool, “I certainly won’t tell anyone about my new sailor team. Wow, you guys are the cutest girls ever! I can’t believe it! My own super sailor girls!”

“Yeah, Princess,” the big man was holding his gold and charcoal necklace, “I might be selling this to retire to become an innkeeper.”

Brundle, shaking his head, “In all the wars I’ve seen . . .”

“No, no, no,” I took the necklace from him, stood up on my tippy toes, reattaching it around his neck, and patted his chest, “this is the greatest Parasol Patrol ever!”

Autumn Specials – free books!

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