18 Rabiul thani 1444A.H

As salam alaykum ,

May the blessings and guidance of Allah, our creator be upon you. Ameen

In July of this year, I penned down the thought in the picture below on my notes.

This thought came on the back of me searching for tricks and hacks to being more mindful, live more in the present, be more conscious of my intentions, actions and be more aware generally. A goal that Shakirah, Fatimah, Aisha, Bimpe, Dolapo, Shukroh, and literally the whole world is trying to attain. Rightfully so.

It hit me that I already had all the hacks and tricks I needed to reach this goal of living mindfully by the sheer blessing of being Muslim and what I really needed to do is live out ‘Islam’. Ever so often, we hear and say that Islam is a way of life, but do we really believe it or is just another quote/phrase in our repertoire?

What I have come to realize is, all the tools and resources I need, I already have. I just need to mine it and put it to good use. I came to a conclusion which this Nigerian proverb or phrase sums up nicely that:

‘What I am looking for in Sokoto is in my Ṣòkòtò’

To translate: what I am looking for in Sokoto (a place in Nigeria), is in my Ṣòkòtò (Yoruba word for trouser’)

Deeper meaning: the answers I am searching for, I already have.

today I am not talking about mindfulness. Rather, I want to put the focus on you. Yes, YOU.

As humans we are often in search of more, which isn’t bad in its entirety (as long as its channelled in the right direction). As a matter of fact, that’s how we were designed by Allah SWT. We have goals, we want better lives: spiritually rich, peaceful, progressive, purposeful and fulfilling lives BUT we tell and convince ourselves that we lack the knowledge, resources, support etc we need to get there.

Indeed, this can be true sometimes but often it’s a case of us not being able to utilize what we already have.

Our inability to utilize what we have can be because of different factors: emotional, mental, physical blocks that show up in different forms and have different root causes (e.g., our environment, upbringing, trauma etc)

Many of us are operating from a place of MISALIGNMENT with who we are at our core. Some of us have been fed with negative words over the years and we have come to accept them as our truth. Some of us have been told lies about ourselves that have shifted the way we see ourselves. Many of us have gone through difficult and tough experiences that have pushed us under and kept us submerged. Some of us have failed times without number and in the process, we have lost believe and trust in ourselves that something good can emanate from us.

I am here to categorically tell you and remind you that it’s a LIE. Allah is excellent and so he did not create you to be mediocre or ‘settle’ for any and everything. If you want an amazing life, you can have it.

, I haven’t seen what spurs a life of peace and progress than coming back home to ourselves. When we are able to come back to our original design (who we truly are), the ‘how to’ becomes clearer and we are able to work our way up from there, God willing.

How do you come home to yourself? Primarily by becoming self-aware. Hold up! If that word spurred up some confusion within you, I would like you to pause and breathe! Becoming self-aware doesn’t have to be a herculean task and there are a few fundamentals that you can cover to get you started.

According to research by Dr Tasha Eurich, there are six fundamental areas you need to build awareness on, but I have gone ahead to add a seventh (God). Here are the 7 areas with some brief prompts:

1. God: you need to know and internalize who created you and for what purpose you were created
2. Values: what are your guiding principles and are those principles in congruence with your belief system?
3. Passion: what kind of activities give you energy? What topic areas cause your heart to come alive?
4. Aspiration: if you knew the day you were going to die, what would you like to spend the rest of your years on earth doing?
5. Environment: what kind of settings make you thrive? Which people bring out the best in you and how best do you learn?
6. Personality: what are your patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving? What are your strengths and weaknesses?
7. Impact: how do you want people to experience you? What impression or feeling would you like to leave people with when they encounter you?

If you would agree with me, to a large extent you already know most of these areas as it pertains to yourself. The question is are you working with this knowledge? Are you using it to your advantage or are you letting the knowledge lay fallow?

, you must BELIEVE that you are a vast body of knowledge, and you already possess what you need to not just survive but thrive. You just need to start with what you have and unravel more insights, tools, and resources as you evolve. As you go along, you will need to build CAPACITY (in skills, attributes, and character) and lastly you must be able to DO the things required to take you to your next level bi ithnillah.

Because we are all wired differently and our life experiences are different, some of us can kickstart the journey of moving in our desired direction by ourselves but some of us require external help on that journey; either by employing a coach, working with a therapist or putting together a solid support/accountability network.

Regardless of which side you fall on , it doesn’t change the fact that YOU and only YOU can do the work needed. You must:

• gracefully accept the truth of who you are; the good and not so good
• decide the truths about yourself that should be maintained
• determine what needs to be improved upon or entirely changed to get you to your destination.

No number of books, articles, videos, courses, external help etc will create significant changes in your life if you don’t do the work and the best way is by starting with what you have. You will be shocked on how far you can go and how well you can BE by working with who you are.

So, my dearest. In your quest to attain your goals, my question for you is:

What is it that you are seeking externally but you already have in your arsenal?

What are you looking for in Sokoto that is already in your sokoto?

Feel free to hit reply and share your thoughts with me!

A few updates:

A new episode of the Radiant woman podcast was released on Wednesday. I had Maryam Baba Mohammed a trauma therapist, nurse and entrepreneur join me. In this episode, we talked about how her childhood, education, marriage and divorce experiences have shaped her in this episode titled - Evolving to Emerge! To listen, click HERE

Secondly, I would like to introduce our first paid offering as a community to you.

REFLECTION PODs by Nisabaah.

Starting in January of 2023 in shaa Allah, these will be monthly intimate gatherings with the intention of building up our reflection muscles in a way that helps us develop personalised insights to cultivate more self-awareness and spur growth INDIVIDUALLY whilst boosting empathy and togetherness COLLECTIVELY.

If you would like to be a part of this, please SIGNIFY HERE and I would be sure to send you more details in the coming weeks in shaa Allah. Thank you!

Till you read from me again,

Go use what is in your Ṣòkòtò to pursue your goals bi ithnillah!

Love,

Sekinat.