11th August 2024/ 7 Safar 1446 AH

A Joyful Moment

As salaam alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu . I hope this email meets you in a state of Iman and Aafiyah.

Last week, I had the honour of hosting a few ladies at the reflective session on the seasons of life and it was beautiful. Alhamdulilah.

There were a couple of insights I observed from the session and I will touch on one in this mail today.

Life’s Seasons: A Test of Gratitude and Patience

You see, the truth is everyone of us is trying to live a fulfilling life however we define it for ourselves. Yet, it is impossible for life to always be rosy — it plays out in seasons. Some seasons bring wins and joys, while others challenge you in ways that may feel overwhelming.

As Muslims, how do we respond? With gratitude in times of ease and patience in times of difficulty.

But let’s be real, sometimes you may find yourself responding in ways that don’t align with these principles. What I’ve noticed over time is that how you perceive the situation, your state of mind, and how you relate to yourself can greatly influence how you respond to what happens in your life.

Self-Compassion: A Key to Patience and Resilience

How you relate to yourself is a big one. It speaks to how kind you are to yourself—how compassionate you are with yourself.

, when you are struggling, self compassion helps you to be gentle with yourself instead of being overtly critical. It is that guilt-tripping, over-judging and shaming of yourself that often makes you forget to respond with patience during challenging times. On the other hand, if you treat yourself with kindness ( just as you would a friend )  by acknowledging the situation, you’re able to look at it from an outside-in perspective which helps you cultivate patience in those dreary moments.

It is self compassion that would help you nurture yourself and reduce the negative emotions that pop up during challenging times. This would inevitably help you build emotional resilience, equipping you to bounce back from setbacks and navigate tough situations.

The Power of Self-Compassion in Good Times

Now, it may seem that self compassion is only relevant for tough times, but this could only be farther from the truth. Being kind to yourself in tough times spills over to the good times too.

When you practice self-compassion, it allows you to fully appreciate your successes and positive experiences. This means you are able to show gratitude in times of bliss. Why? Because in being kind to yourself, you are less likely to undermine your achievements with self doubt or perfectionism.

, even in good times, life can be demanding. Self-compassion is that skill in your treasure chest that encourages you to set healthy boundaries and recognize when you need to rest or slow down, even when things are going well. This prevents burnout and ensures you maintain a healthy balance in your life.

Embracing Balance: Self-Compassion Across All Seasons

By being kind to yourself in both good and tough times, you create a supportive environment for continuous growth and learning. You are more likely to go outside our comfort zone, pursue new opportunities, and celebrate your progress without the fear of failure holding you back.

In essence, self-compassion is a tool for your overall well-being. It provides emotional balance and resilience that benefits you regardless of what’s happening in your life. It’s a practice that helps you maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and with your creator, whether you are facing challenges or enjoying successes.

, sometimes, you’re able to handle setbacks on your own but other times, you need the support and encouragement from others to remind you to extend that much-needed kindness to yourself. To illustrate, last year I made a grave mistake. Without a strong support system, I could have quickly spiraled into harsh self-criticism. Alhamdulilah, I had people who reminded me that to err is human and encouraged me to respond more compassionately. The comfort this brought was invaluable!

A Space for You

This is why I’m so excited to share that something special is coming soon in shaa Allah. We’re creating a community where self-compassion isn’t just encouraged—it’s nurtured. This is a place where you can navigate your life seasons with kindness and grace, and surround yourself with other women who understand and can support your beautiful journey.

Stay tuned for more details in the coming weeks.

All my best,

Sekinat

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Quick questions for you to reflect on:

1. How kind are you to yourself?

2. Do you have people who remind you to be kind to yourself and respond appropriately in all circumstances?

(You are welcome to hit reply and share your thoughts with me)

p.s: the next time you want to go all hard on yourself, ask yourself how would I treat a friend in this situation.

xoxo.