Kia Ora...

Everything is moving along at a good rate on the housing front... well, I'm still crashing on my friend's couch, but fingers crossed the house should go unconditional early March!! Which is fantastic really because with a housing slump and having owned an older house that needed a lot of work done on it, we could've ended up waiting weeks for someone to make an offer on it. Of course, once that's all settled I will need to find myself a rental... and yeah, that market is no better than the buying one. I will need to right a list of must haves that I can't compromise on, and those that I can.

But asides from that I'm loving being back in my home city. So much has changed, and yet so much is still very much the same. And while crashing on couch might not seem like fun, I've actually been enjoying the 'not being on my own' part of it. I've never lived on my own, there's always been other people about whether that's family or flatmates, so it's going to be a big adjustment.

Updates

Naomi Aoki

• Devotion (Nagoya Crimes 3) is on target for a March release. Currently it's sitting at 22.8k words...so, about a good third of the way done. If you've not caught up on the first two books in the trilogy, you can find them here: Nagoya Crimes Trilogy

Mandy Greenwood

• Have finished rewriting Finding His Eden (Silverdale City 1) and have finalised the book covers for both print and ebook. I will begin releasing the newly revised editions once I have finished the first three books. Next on the rewrite pile is A Baby For Albie (Silverdale City 2). The original editions will be coming down shortly.
• Have paused the redrafting of the other baseball story I started, and will pick it up again as time allows.

MJ Green

• Have put down more words on Father McDonald's story. This will be novella length story of about 19k words with release date TBD
• Collecting resource materials for Calvin and Rosa's story that will be written once I've finished with Devotion (Nagoya Crimes 3).

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Spotlight: Nagoya Crimes Trilogy

MMF Yakuza Romance

Yakuza x Detectives

Tested Loyalties

Betrayal

Bisexual Characters

Violence

Mysterious Bad Guy

Book One - Deception

Book Two - Deviation

Running For Home (Switch Hitters 1)

Chapter Nine

TW: Depression

Jordan blew out a harsh breath and stared at the ceiling as he tried to cool his temper and compose his words before speaking again. “That’s not true. There’s always been more to you than baseball… more even to your existence within the sport beyond being able to catch my pitches. And my love”—stepping toward Mike while tamping down the guilt surging through him at his own failures. He’d never realised how badly Mike had been affected by his career ending injury… only to readily accepted every “I’m okay” that his husband had uttered— “was never contingent on your ability to play baseball.

“And the only person standing in the way of you continuing to contribute to the team… to the sport you love…is you. Emmet is serious about wanting to employ you as the Switch Hitters’ new Pitching Coach.”

Hunter sighed heavily. “Right, now that you’re talking to each other and not at each other… I’m going to leave.” He strode toward the door, shoving Jordan further in Mike’s direction as he passed by. “Now…if you can only keep talking, then maybe you’ll finally sort out this two years’ worth of mess.”

Jordan waited awkwardly for the apartment door to close and his brother’s footsteps to fade into the distance. He didn’t believe that Mike was broken, but his husband hadn’t been wrong either… there was so much about Mike as he was now that Jordan didn’t know. But he wanted a chance to find out…and always wanted that.

He picked his way through the mess of bottles and cans, cleared a space on the couch, and then sat down, gesturing for Mike to join him. “When I say that I want you back… that I want more than friendship… it was never the old Mike, at least not the one you mind had fixated on. I want the Mike who was mine outside of the diamond. The Mike who cooked me dinner, went for walks with me or sat out on the back deck with a beer in hand while we just…talked. I want the man whom I idolized as a boy…the one who didn’t care when his mate’s younger brother trailed behind them… I want the man who’d thought nothing of catching my first clumsy pitch when I was twelve, and then proceeded to patiently teach me different change-ups when I was sixteen…

“Yes, I’d spent my youth dreaming about playing on the same team as you, but that was never all I wanted… and wasn’t who we were as a couple.” He sighed and scrubbed at his face. “At least it wasn’t…for me.”

Mike remained silent but not quiet. Tears slid down his cheeks while his pained cries of “I’m sorry” fought to escape the tight clench of Mike’s jaw. Jordan reached for Mike, not hesitating to pull his husband tight against his chest and finally provide the comfort he’d wanted… should’ve given Mike two years ago. And it would’ve been easy to let the conversation end right there, except Hunter was right, he and Mike needed to get it all out in the open. Every last bit of pain and anger that had festered between them from the moment Mike’s world had collapsed around him.

“If our situations had been different… if it’d been me who’d suffered a career ending injury”—his shoulder tingling as Jordan remembered how close that reality still might’ve been if Mike hadn’t pointed out the issue— “would you’ve seen me as being broken… worthless… not someone you wished to be married too simply because I couldn’t play baseball anymore?”

“No! It wouldn’t have mattered to me,” Mike snapped, pulling himself out of Jordan’s arms and stared at him with something akin to horror. “But it doesn’t work like that. Deep down I knew that… knew everything that you’ve just told me. Yet the dark voice, the one that continued to relieve that moment couldn’t see it. Voices that were never quiet enough for me to rationalise any of it.”

Jordan nodded agreeingly while not really understanding it at all. He probably would never truly understand what Mike had gone through…still struggled with.

“I’m not completely faultless in all this either. I couldn’t see that you were struggling…and I guess a part of me didn’t want to which made easy to accept the assurances you gave when I did ask if you were okay. I accepted everything at face value instead of digging deeper. “Jordan shifted on the couch so that he faced Mike and then cupped his husband’s face so Mike couldn’t avert his gaze. “But I still want you to come home… I don’t want to spend another night in our bed alone… not when I’ve already spent far too many wondering where you were and if you were okay.”

“I—”

“Please… please say you’ll come home.”

“I want to,” Mike finally admitted, his voice trembling as he spoke. “Not yet though… I’m not ready to take that step…yet. I wish that I was… I wish that I was strong enough to push past the doubting voices in my head.”

“No. No, you are strong… and there’s no rush,” Jordan reassured him, trying desperately to keep his disappointment from colouring his words. “We’ll take it slow… because just knowing that you want to come home is enough for now.

“And the job Emmet wants to offer you? Will you consider that too? Because I really do believe that you’ve still go so much to give the team even if you can’t stand on the field with us.”

Mike’s breath hitched and panic flared in his eyes before fading into the stubborn determination that Jordan was far more familiar with. “I’ll reach out to Emmet tomorrow and discuss it… I’m not sure if I’m ready to walk into the bullpen. But… but I want to be able to do that eventually.”

******

Arranged Marriage

Two men to choose from

But why choose?

Mafia MMM Romance

Betrayal

Bisexual Awakening

MM Side Pairs

Angst

Violence

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