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Present Day

JANE

School was finally done for the week. I was ready to pick up my baby girl. I collected my things and hightailed it out of the high school, eager to wrap Emma in my arms.

“Hi, Mom,” Emma murmured in my ear, squeezing me tight. How I loved a welcome like this at the end of my day. Nothing beat the warm greeting she gave me each time I picked her up from school.

“Hi, sweetheart. I missed you today.” I hung on a little longer to her. Soon, she would grow up and not want me hugging her, so I wanted to cherish these precious moments while they lasted.

“You ready to get some dinner?”

I was starving after a long day of teaching difficult teenagers. “I thought we could eat together before you go over to Nana and Pops’s. What do you feel like having?”

“Can we have pizza, Mom?” Emma pleaded with a grin plastered on her cute face. She looked just like David, with her big baby blues and huge smile, but when it came down to food, she was a copy of her momma.

“Sure we can, baby girl.”

We hopped in the car and drove over to Marco’s. Nothing beat a pizza from the Italian place in town.

After indulging in a pepperoni pizza with olives and a salad, because the good parent in me urged me to have something green on our plate each night, we headed to my parents’ home.

My mom must have heard the car, because she opened the door as Emma and I got out.

“Hi, Nana!” Emma screamed with the energy and excitement of a six-year-old running on too much sugar. I guess we would be skipping the soda next time.

“Hi, Emma. How has your day been?” my mother asked her, as if she were addressing an adult and not her six-year-old granddaughter.

“It was great! We learned new words, and I got to play with the bunny Miss Matthews brought in today. It was awesome.”

“Where are my favorite girls?” Dad came out to greet us. He picked up Emma and gave her a twirl. She squealed and shrieked, but he didn’t let her go. He was enjoying this as much as she was.

They both started whispering something I couldn’t make out and headed on inside. I smiled, enjoying the bond they shared. Dad knew how to make a girl feel special, and Emma was eating up every moment with him.

“How has your day been?” Mom asked as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. She gave me a little squeeze, waiting for me to answer.

“It was good, just a long week is all,” I replied.

“What a nice surprise to see Jackson at Emma’s party.” Mom was baiting me.

“Mhm,” I mumbled.

“You two were always such good friends,” she continued.

“We were,” I agreed. Thinking of Jackson’s strong arms wrapped around me caused my cheeks to flush. Those arms sure didn’t feel all that platonic. Trying not to read too much into it, I added, “I guess we still are friends.”

“He always was such a good boy.” Mom’s lips curled up into a smile, and her eyes turned wistful, probably recalling fond memories from our past.

“He isn’t a boy anymore,” I blurted out without a second thought. Mom’s smile turned into a much less innocent one as the wheels in her mind turned.

“He sure isn’t. I’m glad you’ve noticed.” Mom smirked and gave me a slight squeeze.

“Mom! He’s half your age. Seriously.” What was up with her?

“Oh, honey, I may be old, but that doesn’t mean I can’t notice a good-looking man when I see one. And that man is very fine looking.”

I was too stunned to reply.

Mom continued. “You know he always had a soft spot for you.”

Now I was even more stunned.

“Don’t look at me like that. He would always hang around you and run after you like a lovesick puppy.”

“He did not.” I protested.

“Sure he did. You were too blind to notice, and he was too young and scared to do something about it. Your dad probably scared him off as well.”

“Seriously, you’re remembering all of this a whole lot differently.” Was she? Was I blind back then? I always felt there was something there, but Jackson never made a move, and I was too afraid to hope.

“Trust me, a mother knows these things. And I’d say not a lot has changed from where I’m standing.” Her wistful gaze returned.

“Mom, we’re just friends.” I was trying hard not to read too much into all of the intense feelings he was eliciting in me lately.

“The best of relationships are based on friendship, dear.”

“That may be the case, but I’m not looking for a relationship at the moment.” I kept reminding myself this over and over, trying to save my poor heart from the damage I knew Jackson Wright could inflict. Was I even ready for the intenseness he evoked?

“Sweetheart.“ Mom’s tone turned serious as she led me to the swing on the porch. “As much as it has gotten better these past years, I can still see what the loneliness does to you. You miss having someone by your side, sharing your bed. David’s gone, Jane. You are here. Emma is here. You need to move on with your life.”

“What do you mean, move on? All I’ve done is move on. I’ve made a life for us without him,” I snapped, the warm and fuzzy mood from earlier forgotten, that loneliness she talked about creeping up on me. I was so good at keeping the pain tucked safely away. Facing it was something I did nearly three years ago. I did that more than I wanted to when David died. Sure, it still hurt more than anything when I stopped to think about it, but I moved on. I knew he wasn’t coming back. That didn’t mean I had to go and replace him, though.

“Getting a job, moving to a new house, being there for Emma is all great, but I want to see you happy again.”

“I am happy, Mom.” My voice still held a bit of edge, but my mind was preoccupied by all of the thoughts tumbling around.

“I know, honey. But you need more. Maybe you haven’t figured it out yet, but you’re too young to go through the motions.” She wrapped me in her arms and kissed my forehead. “Promise me you’ll give the idea some thought. I’d hate for you to miss out because you’re stuck in the past. You hear?”

Was I stuck in the past? Was I clinging on to the memory of my dead husband out of fear? Had I moved on enough? Was I going to pass up something good because I wasn’t willing to let go?

“Okay, Mom.” It was all I had to offer for now.

“Jane, honey, I know you don’t want to think too much about this, but you have to at some point. It’s time, baby.”

She faced me and held my shoulders in her hands. “You know I love you, my Janey. I have loved you from the day I found out you were growing inside of me.” I noticed unshed tears in her eyes. It wasn’t often my mom got this serious, and I found myself getting a little overcome by emotion. “So please, Jane, be happy. Think of that precious girl and live a happy life together. No more dwelling on the past, sweetheart.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I choked out.

“I hear you. I won’t pretend to understand, but I know how hurt you were, how much you still hurt. But he’s gone, and he’s not coming back. You have to move forward. Staying in the past isn’t going to help you, or Emma. You need to look to the future.”

“My mind knows you’re right, Mom, but I’m not sure my heart is in the same place yet,” I admitted.

“I understand. And as much as I know you like to take things at your own pace, life doesn’t always move at the pace we choose it to move at. If we decide to postpone and not work through what is holding us back, we might wake up one day and realize we missed out on a whole lot of amazing opportunities. I don’t want that for you, sweetie. If I have learned anything along the way, it’s that life is over in the blink of an eye. And if we don’t grasp the opportunities life gives us, we’ll be left with regret.”

“I know, Mom.” I loved her for helping me hear this. I hoped I had the courage to move forward, because right now, I didn’t feel courageous at all.

Mom knew she’d given me enough to mull over. She was never one to force an idea on someone. She would gently but firmly make her point. And she had.

“Let’s go find your father and see what kind of trouble he has gotten little Emma into, okay?” She gave me another quick hug and headed into the house.

I took a minute to look out into the evening sky and enjoy the sun trying to break through the clouds. It was as if there were thick clouds surrounding me and preventing the warmth and light of the sun to break free and light up my life. If I were honest with myself, I didn’t feel complete. I hadn’t since the day David died, and I feared I never would be completely whole again.

JACKSON

I arrived at Jane’s house by about 7:30 and gave myself a final pep talk before popping a couple of breath mints in my mouth. Making my mind up took my nervousness to a whole new level. This girl always had that effect on me.

I walked up to her front door and heard the soft thump of a bass floating in the air. It was a tune that seemed familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on which song it was. I tried the doorbell but already knew it was pointless. There was no way anyone would hear anything over the sound coming from those speakers.

After waiting a few seconds in order not to appear too eager, I tried knocking, which was slightly louder than the doorbell, and waited. I felt like an idiot after my weird behavior the other day.

With that kind of noise coming from the house, someone had to be home. I was determined to see Jane tonight and get this apology off my chest, no turning back at this point.

Knowing no one would hear me, I walked around the house to see if I could knock on the back door. I remembered the way from the last time I was here for Emma’s party. The gate on the side of the house opened up easily enough. As I rounded the corner, I saw a dancing, singing Jane dropping a trash bag in the bin outside. She hadn’t spotted me there as she belted out the lyrics to the song I now recognized as one Sarah used to listen to all the time as a teenager. I guess it was one of Jane’s favorites, too.

The sight of this side of her took my breath away. This was the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. The girl who embraced life to the fullest. She was almost crying out to the tune and dancing like she didn’t have a care in the world. Her hair was tied up, a few strands having fallen out of her ponytail and framing her face. She was wearing cut-off jeans, showing off her slim, tight legs. Her form-fitting shirt revealed new curves, reminding me she wasn’t the same girl from all those years ago.

As she turned around to head back inside, she spotted me standing there. Her singing and swaying stilled instantly. Her flushed cheeks darkened, giving her an even more appealing look. I fought the smile on my face as I noticed her fidgeting. She looked at me as if she was trying to figure out why I was here on her back porch.

“So, you are home.” I broke the silence to hide the fact I’d been giving her the full once-over. I swallowed the dryness in my throat, thinking of those tight, swaying hips and those tan legs. Jane had always had great legs. I chuckled and attempted to smooth over the deer in the headlights look she was giving me.

“That I am.” She crossed her arms and took a challenging stance. She so caught me checking her out, and she was calling me out on it. There was the Jane I remembered, the one I fell in love with. The one that would never let me get away with any kind of crap.

“I did try the front door a couple of times before I came back here.” I tried to win her over with my smile once again. It was working, because I saw her soften up a bit and return my smile with a very small one of her own.

“Wow, Jane, I knew you had a decent set of lungs on you, but that singing takes it to a whole new level.” I joked because my brain couldn’t come up with a way to introduce the real reason I was here.

“You have no idea.” She rolled her eyes and snorted.

“What brings you here tonight, Jackson? Apart from my amazing vocal talents?” Her gaze shifted to the bouquet in my hands, and she raised her right eyebrow in a challenge.

“I wanted to give you these.” I paused to hand over the sunflowers. I felt my fingertips brush over hers as she took them. I hesitated to release them, enjoying the sensations her touch ignited. That slight caress lit a slow, burning flame, setting my senses on fire at an alarming rate. I felt that familiar fire intensify as the connection continued. “I spoke to Sarah,” I breathed out softly, afraid to break this spell that came over us. “I wanted to apologize for last night.”

“What for?” she barely got out, seemingly under the same spell. She gave me a puzzled look as if she wasn’t there last night and couldn’t remember that awkward moment we shared. Her inability to remember made me feel unsure again about being here.

“I acted like an idiot when we ran into each other at the pharmacy. I saw that test, and I kind of freaked out. It brought back some tough memories. I might have been a little rude.” Those memories haunted me last night as I replayed them in my dreams. I lost everything because of Ainsley’s mistake.

Complete confusion crossed over her face, before she shook it off and gave me a reassuring look.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel bad in any way,” I rushed on.

“Jackson, there’s nothing to apologize for. I was completely on edge about picking up the test for Sarah, and there I am, running into you, of all people, with a pregnancy test in my hands. I was totally caught off guard.”

She took the flowers from my hands and looked at them properly for the first time. I saw her face light up as she registered which flowers I’d picked up.

“Sunflowers are my favorite,” she exclaimed without taking her eyes off of the bouquet.

“I know.” There were lots of things I never forgot, not about Jane.

She peered at me, a question hanging in the air.

“I remember.“ My voice turned serious.

Her gaze turned down, my admission returning that beautiful shade of pink to her cheeks.

She didn’t reply, but she continued to smile, and the peace I felt these past weeks shone even brighter in that moment. It seemed so tangible I could almost feel the possibility of what might be, and that sentiment lifted my spirits and gave me the hope I was craving.

“Why don’t you come on in while I put these in some water.” She didn’t wait for me to answer but headed in through the screen door. Last time I was here, I was in her kitchen. That was with a whole bunch of people around. Now we were all alone.

“So, where’s Emma?” I shifted from one leg to another, feeling more aware of us being alone.

“She’s out with my parents. They went to a musical, and she’s staying over. Friday night is their date night.”

“That’s nice. Bet you miss her, though.”

“It’s nice to have the place to myself, and it gives me a chance to hang out with Sarah. Though, I still miss Emma every time she’s gone.” She placed the vase on the counter, and the flowers looked perfect in her kitchen.

“I love them, Jackson. I can’t believe you still remembered after all these years.”

My heart skipped a beat as I stared into her warm, green eyes. I didn’t comment. I remembered almost everything from back then. It was hard not to. Instead, my gaze wandered to her full lips and I swallowed, hard. I cleared my throat. “Want to go to Mabel’s for a sundae?” I could definitely use the cool distraction.

“Sure. Let me put this stuff away.” She pointed to the cleaning rags and bucket, and for the first time I took in the rest of the house. Dust cloths, a mop, and a vacuum cleaner were also scattered in the living room. That explained the loud music.

***

Minutes later, Jane was sitting across from me at Mabel’s diner. If I closed my eyes, I could almost believe we were kids again. Almost.

“How is English at Bellebrook High going, Ms. Pierce?” I questioned as I glanced over the menu. Looked pretty much the same.

“It’s Ms. Hartford,” Jane mumbled. I glanced up to see her examine the sundae selections. I was such an idiot. In my mind, this was still Jane Pierce, the girl I fell in love with all those years ago, not some dead man’s wife.

Instead of letting it turn awkward, she answered my initial question as if nothing was amiss. “Most days, I love it. English has always been a passion of mine.”

“Sunflowers and English. I remember it all.” I grinned, thinking back to her as a freshman, tutoring me, a senior.

Jane’s eyes softened, and her lips curled up in a smile. She was probably thinking of those same memories.

“So what’s good? I haven’t eaten one of Mabel’s sundaes in years.” I focused on the selection in the menu instead of staring at her like a lovesick fool.

“The chocolate sundae with the works is great.” She kept looking at the page in front of her. “Or the peanut butter and chocolate with caramel is also really good.” She continued to scan the selection. “If you’re feeling really adventurous, though, we can go for the chocolate chip cookie skillet sundae for two. I’ve had it a couple of times with Sarah over the years, and it’s amazing. Hot cookie, melted chocolate, the cold ice cream, more melted chocolate, mhm mhm.” She had her eyelids closed, and a small moan escaped. That woman. She had no idea what she did to me. I shook myself, returning my focus to the sundae selections, and chided myself for getting caught up in thoughts of tasting the chocolate on her lips.

“You get the picture.” She snapped her eyes open and gave me an excited look. I gulped and tried to find the dessert she mentioned. My mind was still wandering.

“After such a pitch, how can I pick anything else?” I closed the menu and put it aside. Hers followed suit. I mentally patted myself on the shoulder for being able to come up with a decent answer. A waitress I didn’t know made some small talk with Jane before taking our order.

“Be prepared to have your socks blown off.” She looked up like an excited kid, and I felt my insides turn to knots with pent up desire. Few things made Ainsley excited, and something as simple as sharing an ice cream wouldn’t have cut it. I laughed, realizing how happy I felt.

“What?” Jane tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and her cheeks turned a tempting shade of pink.

“I like how you do that.”

“Do what?” She swiped her hair again, and her cheeks darkened even more.

“That. How you brush your hair behind your ear when you’re nervous. How you blush. It’s adorable.”

“It may be adorable when you’re ten. It isn’t when you’re my age.” Her hand raised to her hair automatically before she shook it off and tucked it away under her leg.

“So why were you smiling at me like that?”

“Like what?” I questioned, fighting that goofy grin again.

“Like that. Seriously, every time you do that, I keep thinking I’ve got something on my face or something.” Her hand popped up again, and before she could tug on her hair, I grabbed it and held it in mine. She pulled in a sharp breath, but she didn’t pull back.

“I’m glad to be here with you. To see you get excited about something as simple as a sundae.” I urged her to look at me and squeezed her hand.

“You know me. Doesn’t take a lot to get me excited. Feed me right, preferably something with lots of chocolate.” She attempted to joke, but it fell flat when I laced my fingers between hers, and her eyes popped back to mine.

“I’ve missed you, Jane,” I started, but the intense moment was broken when Mabel came and set the skillet down, breaking the contact between us.

“Be careful, it’s hot,” she warned. Jane’s hands disappeared under the table, and as Mabel left us, she recovered.

“Best to eat it while the cookie is still hot. You’ll thank me later.” She took her spoon and tucked in. I sat there, staring at her lips forming around the spoon. When a soft moan escaped her, I dug in with a huge bite of my own. Wrong thing to do; I felt the burn before I even tasted the chocolate.

“Drink, quickly.” Jane was holding back laughter as she shoved my drink in my hand. I quickly gulped without tasting the bite I’d shoved in my mouth.

“I guess I should have warned you to take the ice cream with the hot cookie,” she barely got out as she fought off a peal of laughter.

“Yeah, I guess you should have.” I tried for my most grouchy voice, but she burst into a louder fit of laughter.

“I’m so-o-o-o-or-r-r-r-ry,” she barely got out, trying to compose herself before breaking out again.

“It isn’t that funny.” I felt myself laughing along with her.

“Oh, but it is.” She was finally getting herself under control as she brushed a tear away. “You should have seen your face. It was priceless. I wish I thought to film it. Sarah would have gotten a real hoot out of it.”

“You sure haven’t changed much.” I chuckled.

“Is that a bad thing?” She stared up at me. I felt my stomach tighten. I was on a freaking roller coaster. The rush and excitement she gave me by a single look was addictive. I didn’t think I ever wanted to get off this ride.

“Definitely a good thing.” I smiled, feeling those nervous flutters take flight.

“Ready to try some more, or are you afraid?” she goaded me.

“I don’t scare that easily.” I returned the challenge, not sure if I was talking about the sundae anymore

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