Hello from Belgium,

As I promised, here's another chapter of The Songs of You and Me. If you missed a previous chapter, go back to your inbox and search in the promotions tab or junk folder...

If you're new to my newsletter, here's a little recap. Every week, I've been sending out one chapter of my book The Songs of You and Me. If you would like to read it from the beginning, it's available on Amazon and free in kindle unlimited.

This chapter is a little heart-wrenching, but keep reading, it will get better. I promise. Just not straight away (sorry, not sorry 😊)

Happy Reading!

Fifteen years earlier...

JANE

The school bell rang. I stuffed my book into my backpack and walked out the double doors. I was done for the day. The sun was shining, but my mood was dark and gloomy because of the English paper in my pack with a red C scrawled on it.

I bombed that paper bad, even though I worked hard on it. How would I get into the English program at Fordham if I couldn’t ace English? I’d been busting my butt for the last year to get into and stay in Honors English.

Mr. Rooney took the time to give me feedback so I knew where I messed up, but I still couldn’t believe I screwed up in the first place.

As I walked through the front door of my house, I shouted out to Mom. After a second holler, I remembered she wasn’t home today, something about a meeting with the town festival committee. As if knowing I’d forget, she left me a note and a snack in the fridge. Bless her, she always did take excellent care of me.

I downed a glass of milk and located my plate of apple slices. Before dropping down on the sofa, I took the jar of peanut butter out of the cupboard and added a generous helping to my snack. It was time for some real comfort.

I flipped the channels, not really seeing what was on, but enjoying the distraction. After twenty minutes, and way too much peanut butter, I switched off the TV. The loud noise and the bright lights annoyed me.

I took off walking, no destination in mind, the content of the paper playing over and over in my mind like a morbid tape on a loop. I still wanted to kick something because of it. I found my way over to the bank of the Hudson River and sank down on the soft, grassy edge. Watching the current moving the water soothed my troubled mind. I probably sat there for about a half hour, when a movement to my left side caught my attention.

I turned to see Jackson standing there, wearing his letterman jacket in the customary green and white colors of our high school. He looked mighty fine in his fitted jeans. I noticed a white T-shirt peeking out from under his jacket. My sullen mood lifted as I took in his presence.

“Hey,” I greeted him.

“Hey, yourself. What are you doing here?” His brows pulled together as he picked up on my sour mood.

“Thinking.”

“Thinking, huh?” He chuckled. There was no fooling him.

“Yeah, well, I was contemplating some cheer routines, but I realized I’m not on the squad, so the whole exercise seemed pointless.”

Jackson chortled, lifting my spirits even more. “Did you come up with any good cheers before you realized the error of your ways?” He plopped down next to me, close enough for our arms and thighs to almost touch. My body sensed his nearness, and the air around us buzzed.

“Nah.” I swallowed as I peered up at him. “I didn’t make it that far.” His eyes met mine. The intensity of his gaze still took my breath away.

“Why are you here?” I choked out, needing something to distract me from the sparks I felt this close to him.

“Just shooting some hoops with the guys. Thought I saw you in the distance. Guess I was right.” He smiled, and my stomach got queasy staring at his lips.

“Oh.” I needed help. Jackson’s presence stripped me of my ability to form a coherent reply.

“What has you in such a bad mood?” His voice was barely audible.

“A bad paper.”

“You failed a paper?” He gasped at me.

I was not the type of person to fail anything…except getting him to see me as more than Sarah’s pesky friend. That I was failing in miserably.

“Pff, please.” I smirked. “Me, fail?”

“Well, I’m not sure what to think with that sad face.”

“Not a fail, a C.” Saying it out loud still sent a pang to my gut.

“Oh, Jane.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, forcing my senses into full alert. “A C isn’t the end of the world.” He squeezed me closer, and I felt a heat in the pit of my stomach.

“Maybe not for you, but for me, a C in English is a huge deal.” I choked. I wouldn’t cry, not about a paper. Jackson noticed the unshed tears in my eyes. All joking left his demeanor, and he became serious.

“Jane,” he murmured. I leaned in closer, but he must have leant in as well. I swallowed too loud, noticing our heads almost touching. “It’s going to be okay. This isn’t such a huge deal. You are incredibly smart. You’ll figure it out.” His voice became husky.

The buzz that was there earlier intensified, and I noticed something in the way he looked at me, tipping me off that he felt the same pull. The tension seemed to build, and I wondered what would happen.

Suddenly, the cord that wrapped us together snapped as a ball hit Jackson in the back. He jumped back, letting his arm that was resting around me drop.

“Hey, Wright, there you are! Where’ve you been, man? We’re all waiting for you.” One of his friends hollered.

“I’ll be there in a sec, okay?” he shouted back.

The guy disappeared the way he came.

“I better get back.” Jackson looked torn, but got up anyway. “We’re going over to Scott’s to play some PlayStation and get a pizza. You wanna come?” He glanced at me expectantly.

“I better head home and hit the books.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“All right.” He extended his hand and waited for me to take it so he could help me up.

“I’m going to hang out here for a few more minutes before I head back home.” After that intense moment between us, I didn’t trust myself to get up and walk, not with Jackson pulling me up and watching me go. I would sit here for a minute and recover.

He gave me an uncertain smile before following after his friend.

I heard his friends jabbering and hollering at him, but I couldn’t make out what they said. My heart sank when I heard Jackson say, “No, man, she’s my baby sister’s friend. That’s all.”

Like a snap of the fingers, all the hope that had built up came crashing down, breaking upon the reef of my heart. I felt even worse than before I sat down on the riverbank.

JACKSON

One second. That’s all it would have taken. One more second, and my lips would have met hers. I was so ready to lean in the last half inch and taste her, when that idiot Scott hit me in the back with a basketball. Talk about worst timing ever. Or best timing ever.

I still didn’t know what to make of it. Was I happy he came at that time, or not?

My whole body longed to do what I had been fantasizing about ever since that failed date with Brian Anderson. And once again, my chance was interrupted. It seemed like it was not meant to happen.

On the one side, I should be glad. Jane was too young for me. I was almost eighteen. She was still fifteen. She was also Sarah’s best friend. If I screwed it up, I would never hear the end of it. And let’s not forget that crazy rule. I hated that rule.

But when I looked at Jane’s face, when I focused on those lips, I wanted to kick myself for not leaning in and telling all those reasons to go to hell. She seemed worth it.

“Hey, dude, you’re up.” Scott smacked me on the head and shoved a controller in my hands.

“Hey, man,” I growled, rubbing the back of my head.

“Keep your head in the game.” Scott grinned. “She was pretty hot. I understand.” He wagged his brows.

“Whatever.” I played it cool.

“It’s okay, no judgment here. I wouldn’t mind a piece of that, either.”

“Shut up!” Jane was off limits, especially for a player like Scott. He would never be good enough for her.

“She’s your sister’s friend. Should be easy for you to set something up for me.”

No way! He was the last guy I’d ever set a girl up with, and especially not Jane.

“Did you see those legs? Oh, man. And that tight body. I bet it looks even better not covered up like that. She is one hot babe.”

I didn’t bother to form a comeback. Instead, I smacked him on the back of the head. “Shut up. That girl is like my baby sister. So no, I won’t set her up with you. You’re not good enough for her. Stop talking about her like that.” Geez!

“Hey, easy. I was just saying.”

“Well, don’t! O-K-A-Y?”

After a long glare, he picked up his controller and we continued our game. After a few minutes of gaming, the heated moment between us was forgotten, for Scott at least. My mind was still reeling. I couldn’t believe he thought it was okay to talk about Jane like that. She wasn’t his.

Come to think of it, she wasn’t mine, either. And that was all my fault, because I hadn’t done a darn thing about it.

Stay tuned for Chapter 7 next week...

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AUTHOR CORNER

An out-of-work news reporter, a bookstore owner, and the secret keeping them apart.

Fighting to stay alive was never supposed to be part of growing up. Today is not the day I die. Today is not the day I fall in love with the guy I hate.