Backlog Breakdown - Vol. 1 Ed. 20
Dec 01, 2020 8:31 pm
World Builders' Guild Newsletter
FOMO ruined my life.
Imagine you're fresh off a sweaty weekend morning pickup baseball doubleheader.
Word is, we're going to see Three Ninjas* later.
Amazing. I'll be ready. 2pm. Out front.
Smash cut to 2:14pm. I'm pacing in front of the bay window. Who ever heard of a 5th grader with high blood pressure?
Did I hear wrong? Was it tomorrow? Or, maybe 3pm. I'm gonna wait it out. Guy'd be late for his own funeral, after all.
2:18pm I'm dialing my friend's house.
The machine picks up. Having heard Mrs. L's analog sing-song one too many times this decade, I hang up the phone like it owes me money. My show of force leaves the yellowed cord slapping the wall like the coiled tail of an agitated alley cat.
Shit. Mom heard.
Now, I have to explain the situation without sounding like a complete moron and/or liar.
Either I fouled up the timeline because I used to be the kid who swore he heard what you said but was thinking about Legos and popsicles, or someone else had a big mouth that wrote some checks their 9-year-old ass couldn't cash.
Maybe it was a little of both. How should I have expected a child—as bewildered as I was of things like: making change, where babies came from, and the miracle of space flight—to have the cognitive and emotional clarity to promise a flawless cinematic rendezvous complete with tickets, transport, and light fare?
The kid couldn't spell "Ken Griffey Jr." let alone mentally manage an ad hoc calendar for four pre-adolescent boys.
So, I missed out. I spent the day wondering what the movie was like or if the popcorn was any good or if they laughed and played video games before the movie. Anyone snag the cool water pistol in the claw game yet?
I wondered if my friends hated me, forgot about me, or just didn't care enough to realize making plans with someone and then following through on 0% of them was a scummy thing to do.
Bullshit. (Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash)
I look at my Steam (and GOG and Twitch Games) backlogs and I wonder if those games feel like that about me. That's something like a combined total of 27 years' worth of game purchases staring me in the face wondering which day I'm going to swing by for a matinee.
All those worlds I planned on visiting. I bought the ticket (80% off winter sale!). I booked the flights. I packed the weather-appropriate hats and sunwear.
Then I bailed.
I don't have an excuse. I've learned that you don't need one. If you don't want to play it, don't play it. If you don't want to read it, don't read it. If you don't want to watch it, don't watch it.
It's called the Sunk Cost Fallacy for a reason.
Let it go.
But, I don't love knowing there are worlds I'm missing out on.
They might change my life forever.
*it was the sequel, which I haven't seen to this day. Still missing out.
To future worlds,
Matt Ventre
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