Praise Nuffle - Vol. 1 Ed. 28
Jan 27, 2021 1:02 am
World Builders' Guild Newsletter
2 minutes left in the game. Down by a score. The endzone seems like a lightyear away. You scan the field for holes in the defense. Blocks fly, bones crunch. A running lane opens up.
The stunty orc ballcarrier dodges out of the way of a bloodthirsty vampire, slips past a giant lizard, and takes a daring flip into the endzone. He spikes the ball into the bleachers where his rabid mutant fans roar in elation.
Wait, what?!
My sneaky Brettonian lineman sweeps a Skaven's legs out as he passes by.
What I've described to you is a scenario from what is regarded as "fantasy football meets tabletop wargaming".
This is Blood Bowl.
Started as a spinoff of Games Workshop's popular 1980s tabletop wargaming franchises, Blood Bowl pits two eleven-player squads of paranormal miscreants against one another in an over-the-top parody of American Football.
This is not your father's buzzing Electric Football table, folks. This is a strictly tactical, dice-mediated, turn-based affair.
Your pet footbrawlers "live" from match to match. They earn special abilities. You can build their powers up over time. They incur injuries. They die.
A lot.
The specially designed, evil tinged "block" dice are fickle. One roll may mean the difference between the sweet taste of glory or the bloody stench of defeat. Your star player might prance in for the go-ahead score or they could trip on the goal line and succumb to a mortal injury, ending their career for good.
There is no such thing as sportsmanship. Kicking a downed player is a sound strategy. Insufferable gloating is guaranteed. You may take a bite out of a perfectly good keyboard in a fit of rage.
It is, to quote Gomez Addams, "Dirty pool, old man."
The world of Blood Bowl is so subordinate to the dice that players have scapegoated their busted luck onto a chaotic deity called Nuffle. Competitors who fail to make adequate offerings are likely to suffer improbable amounts of unsavory outcomes, confirmation bias notwithstanding.
If you have the fortitude to handle the swings, I encourage you to explore the world of Blood Bowl. It's a wild ride.
We unwavering disciples of Nuffle would have it no other way.
To future worlds,
Matt Ventre
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