How have you been ,

It's human nature to focus on our own suffering, what others have done to us; how of a victim we are most of the times.

However, what if we are the ones that possess those traits that would be considered toxic?

Becoming self-aware is the first step to your transformation.

Toxicity comes from deeply rooted mental and emotional wounds. It can manifest itself as coping mechanisms which are unhealthy.

The source could be our past experiences, whether it was when we were growing up or painful situations we have gone through as we are maturing.

A good point to note is that, you can adopt such traits when you are coming from a toxic relationship. In your effort to cope you develop these toxic traits.

Here are traits that will help you know you are toxic

Being mean and cruel; You don’t care about other people’s feelings. How you chose to use your words matters a lot. You can either build someone’s esteem or bring it down.

Selfishness; Its either your way or no way. Not caring who you will hurt in the process which can include having affairs outside of your relationship.

You are often sarcastic; You make ‘out of place’ comments that are indirectly meant to hurt the other person or get back at them. Communicate effectively.

You are controlling and manipulative; You find yourself wanting to control everything. You feign emotional breakdowns, sickness or whatever that looks to manipulate the other person.

Changing this kind of trend will require you to take a few steps;

Self-awareness; Understand your patterns. Look at the points in your life when you have mood swings for example to ensure that you are in control and know how to handle yourself.

Raise your self-esteem; You would never treat people down or in a mean way if you had high self-esteem. Chances are you are bringing people down to feel good about yourself.

Be there for yourself and work towards meeting your own needs; Having unhealthy attachments can make you toxic, learn to have and be by yourself outside of everything else in the world.

Learn to listen to yourself; Catch yourself when you are being mean to people and act accordingly.

Bottom line, endeavor to treat people the way you want to be treated; As the golden rule goes, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Also Get help. Even as a good person, you can have toxic traits. You can always be better if you work on yourself and embrace your healing journey.

Ps: If you consider yourself as someone struggling in this area, it will be a HUGE plus for you to invest in a coaching package to help you address the issue as soon as possible. To get more details kindly reach out.