Dear ,

I don’t know if you are aware of this but being the nice girl is a form of self-abandonment; you neglect your own needs to please someone else.

You abandon what you want for yourself so that other people can think you are nice. When you neglect your own needs, when you abandon your desires to attend to the desires of another, it’s self-betrayal.

And then, what happens? you start resenting yourself, you start feeling bad about yourself, feeling the pangs of emotional distress because you betrayed yourself again!

This email is a gentle reminder that you need yourself more than anybody else needs you. A lot of people who are too nice, and it has happened in my life end up finding people who are ready to use them, to take advantage of them.

Abusers and people who like taking advantage of people look for nice people. They look for more agreeable people. If you find yourself in one toxic situation after another, then you are too nice.

If you catch yourself doing this, ask yourself: Why is it so important for this person to like me? Why is it so important for them to think I am nice? Sometimes we think that when people see that we are nice, they will like us, especially someone of the opposite sex but on the other hand, people don't like people who just want to please them, people like people who are genuine, and who are honest.

Telling you that being nice is hurting you doesn’t mean asking you to stop being kind. Being nice is sacrificing yourself and being kind is wanting to be considerate but not forgetting yourself in the process. Kindness has nothing to do with the other person it's about being who you are. It's not for validation or for you to be liked.

Being too nice can be a form of defense, worrying if the other person will stop liking or loving you. The person you should worry about not loving you is yourself. There is nothing as bad as living for other people, trying to sacrifice what you believe in so that other people can be happy😓

Instead of waiting for people to see that you are nice or to praise you, focus on doing it for yourself. If you want to have genuine friendships and genuine relationships learn to be kind instead, and have boundaries.

Sometimes being too nice can stem from childhood wounding and this is one area we shall be exploring inside the healing childhood trauma coming up on April 9^th- 13^th, if this calls to you, we are happy to welcome you inside the Bootcamp where other women will be spending a week embarking on a journey of healing their inner child, for more details feel free to ask via this email reply.

Look out for yourself ❤️