Dear ,

Emotional pain can be just as intense and long-lasting as physical pain. The emotional pain of a broken heart, the loss of a loved one, or a betrayal can linger for months or even years. But why does emotional pain still hurt even when the physical cause is gone?

In case of a failed relationship, there are a number of reasons why it still hurts and I will share some things you can do to heal from that.

Breakups can be tough to deal with, and even long after a relationship has ended, the pain can linger on. Whether you were the one who ended things or you were the one who was left behind, the pain can be intense and long-lasting.

Scientifically speaking, it still hurts because emotional pain activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. Studies have shown that the brain's response to social rejection is similar to the response to physical pain. In fact, the same neural pathways that process physical pain also process emotional pain.

It still hurts if you are waiting for time to heal you. It takes more than time because you have to make the effort to want to heal, seek help and do some things everyday to help you heal.

It will still hurt if you have let the break up define you. You still think it's a reflection of yourself. You are stuck in the pattern of , ' I should have done it this way' and if you get stuck there, you will not move forward. You will be waiting hopefully to rekindle that relationship to make things right that you have been thinking you did wrong.

It hurts because you are probably only focusing on the fantasy, all the good times and ignoring all the bad times. If you got emotionally abused note it, if you are the one that cheated, what reasons caused that?

What should you do instead?

Take time to set the tone for your next relationship. Even in the midst of pain, list down what you learned from it and how you want to behave differently.

Define who you would prefer to be in a relationship with and how you want to feel in that relationship.

Get busy with your life. Get to know and explore your gifts. Get to know yourself better. You can practice journaling your feelings until you start getting better.

Go out for a movie, to events and general fun but avoid getting into rebound relationships. Heal first to avoid going through the same painful cycle.

Get a confidant. Share your progress and what you listed about the kind of person you want, how you want to behave and things you have learnt in that relationship. Let them point out to you areas you may be slipping back on and offer accountability.

Get coaching if this is an area you realize you need additional assistance on. Get comprehensive coaching on ( Healing a broken heart, failed relationships, confidence in dating, attraction, being a high value woman and so much more by Signing up for the Relationship and Dating coaching program.

Bookings for the month of April ongoing, feel free to reach out for details.

Talk soon.