Dear Family,

There’s a quiet misconception about high-earners like us.

From the outside, it looks like we’ve got it all figured out. To our friends and family, we’re the confident ones. The achievers. The inspirational ones.

The people who always seem to be moving forward, always landing on our feet.

But inside? We don’t always feel that way.

What most people never see is the pressure we carry behind the scenes—trying to keep it all together while managing our own responsibilities and the unspoken responsibilities that come with being “first-gen,” “the one who made it,” or the person everyone calls when something goes wrong. It’s a strange position: you’re proud to be someone your family can lean on, but at the same time, you’re trying to build a life, a career, and a future for yourself.

And you’re doing all of that while holding the emotional, financial, and logistical weight of multiple households.

We’re providing for our families. Supporting aging parents. Helping siblings find their footing. Trying to build our own homes and create stability for our own children.

All while navigating the everyday curveballs life loves to throw at the worst possible times.

A client backs out and suddenly revenue dips. A promotion you were counting on quietly falls through. A car breaks down, a medical bill hits, rent goes up, daycare increases—real life doesn’t care how much you make; it always finds a way to test you.

And sometimes, even when everything looks good on paper, you still feel behind.

You still feel the quiet panic rising. You still feel like you're one step away from the whole thing unraveling. When these setbacks hit, they can send us into a downward spiral fast. Not because we’re irresponsible. Not because we’re bad with money. Not because we don’t work hard enough. But because when everyone depends on you, your margin for error is razor thin.

One disruption can shake the entire structure.

And that’s exactly why we have to practice something most people never talk about:

Creating upward spirals.

An upward spiral isn’t about fixing your entire life in a weekend or suddenly transforming into a “better version” of yourself. It’s much simpler. It’s what happens when you take one small action—one thing that tilts your energy upward instead of downward—and let that single shift create momentum for the rest of your life.

It’s the opposite of spiraling down.

It’s the art of reclaiming control—not in big dramatic gestures, but in steady, intentional choices that slowly bring you back to center. If you’re in a moment where things feel heavy, or uncertain, or just off, creating an upward spiral can be as simple as giving yourself one small win. A 20-minute workout. A short walk outside. A morning without looking at your phone. A journal entry. Cleaning your inbox. Paying one bill you’ve been avoiding.

These aren’t life-changing actions, but they send a powerful message: I’m still here. I’m still in the fight.

Momentum starts small. But it compounds. It also means anchoring your week with something that restores you. High achievers rarely burn out from working hard—we burn out from spending all of our energy on everyone else and leaving nothing for ourselves. Restoration isn’t a luxury for people like us; it’s a requirement.

Therapy, training, prayer, reading, meditation, long showers, a quiet drive, time with someone who speaks life into you—whatever fills your tank, schedule it like a meeting with your future self.

And sometimes the upward spiral starts with getting clear on your financial picture again. A downward spiral often begins with a financial disruption. An upward spiral begins with clarity: What happened? Where am I now? What needs to happen next? When you name the truth, you get your power back. Control is confidence.

Other times, it’s as simple as reaching out to someone who reminds you who you are.

Not for advice. Not for solutions. Just for perspective. Sometimes we forget our own strength until someone reflects it back to us. And above all, remember this: you’ve rebuilt before.

This isn’t your first setback.

It won’t be your last. But you have a track record of surviving things you once thought you wouldn’t. You are still here.

High earners aren’t invincible.

We’re not machines. We’re not superheroes. We’re humans who carry pressure that a lot of people will never understand. But we also have the power to shift our direction at any moment.

One small step.

One upward spiral. One decision to reclaim the day instead of letting the day decide for us. And when we rise, we don’t rise alone. Our families rise. Our communities rise. Everyone connected to us rises because that’s how we’re built.

That’s the blessing and the burden of being who we are.

From LUX, With Love

Matt