Dear Family,
Today, I want to explore a concept that’s been on my mind recently—one that has profound implications for how we approach our finances. It’s called mimetic theory, and it revolves around the idea that we often desire what others desire simply because they desire it.
This idea comes from the work of René Girard, who proposed that our desires are not purely our own but are deeply influenced by what others find desirable.
In essence, our longing for something often mirrors the desires of those around us. If someone else deems an object or goal as worthwhile, we’re more likely to want it too.
Let me break it down a bit:
- Imitation of Desires: Our desires are often shaped by what we see others wanting. When we see someone achieving or acquiring something, our own desires can shift to match theirs. This isn’t always a bad thing—it can lead to positive growth and aspiration. But it can also lead to financial pitfalls if we’re not careful.
- Scapegoating: Girard’s theory also touches on how this imitation can lead to scapegoating. When we’re driven by desires influenced by others, it can sometimes create conflict or dissatisfaction when we can’t attain those things. We might blame external factors or others for our financial struggles, rather than examining how our desires were shaped.
Here’s how this plays out in our financial choices:
- Lifestyle Inflation: When we see peers or celebrities living lavishly, we may feel pressured to keep up, even if it stretches our budget. This can lead to lifestyle inflation, where our spending rises to match perceived social norms rather than our actual needs or financial health.
- Social Comparison: Our spending habits can be driven by comparison. If everyone in our circle seems to have the latest gadgets or luxury items, we might feel compelled to spend beyond our means to fit in or to project a certain image.
- Meaningful Choices: Understanding mimetic desire can help us make more meaningful financial choices. Instead of being driven by what others are doing, we can focus on what truly aligns with our personal values and long-term goals.
Being aware of how those around us influence our desires can empower us to make more intentional and authentic financial decisions.
The key is finding balance and ensuring that our financial choices reflect what’s truly important to us, rather than merely imitating others.
From LUX, With Love,
Matt
*** P.S. I'm hosting our next Bridge Builder Workshop on July 7th at 7 PM EST via Zoom. This is the perfect opportunity for you and your family to start gaining financial clarity and living your life with intention. You can register for the workshop at the link below.
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