Hi friends, clients, and the beautifully overstimulated,
Let’s talk about rest... not the Pinterest version, not the “book a spa day and suddenly your nervous system will become a Zen monk” version, not the “just unplug, babe!” version.
I mean real rest.
Rest for people like us.
Rest for the brains that do not come with an off switch.
Rest for the minds that, the moment we stop moving, immediately start drafting business plans, reorganising our whole personality, and solving world problems we didn’t volunteer for.
If you have a busy brain, you already know this:
Rest isn’t the absence of activity.
Rest is the absence of pressure.
And that… is a very different thing.
Let me explain.
🧠 Busy Brain Rule #1: Stopping doesn’t mean resting
For some of us, “stopping” looks like:
- Sitting down and instantly thinking of twelve things we forgot to do
- Suddenly remembering that one email from 2018
- Mentally redesigning a product, a program, or our entire life
- Or spiralling into 300 open tabs of thought
This is why rest feels slippery.
You slow the body; the brain speeds up.
It’s like your nervous system goes:
“Oh perfect, she’s sitting still... now is the perfect time to dump EVERYTHING.”
So what do we do?
We approach rest differently.
🌿 Busy Brain Rule #2: Rest has to be chosen, not expected
Busy brains don’t “fall into” rest.
We don’t accidentally relax.
We have to create rest in a way that works for us.
Which means:
✔ Low stimulation, not zero stimulation
Silence? Horrifying.
But soft music, a show you’ve seen before, or a gentle podcast? Perfect.
A 10-hour sound loop on YouTube of the sound of black holes. Awesome. (I don't know why but the emptiness of space is extremely soothing).
✔ Low responsibility, not zero tasks
Folding towels can be rest.
Baking can be rest.
Rearranging your apps? Yes, also rest.
✔ Low emotional labour
This is why being alone sometimes feels more restful than being around people you love. Your nervous system isn’t managing extra data.
💤 Busy Brain Rule #3: Find your “anchoring activities”
Rest doesn’t always come from empty space.
Sometimes rest comes from the right kind of activity.
Here are some common “anchor rests” for busy-brained humans:
✨ Repetitive tasks (laundry, gardening, colouring, dishes).
✨ Familiar comfort shows (Golden Girls, Schitt$ Creek, Brooklyn 99 are my reliable go-to list).
✨ Driving with music.
✨ Wandering the shops with no mission.
✨ Crafting, doodling, making something with your hands (enter Ming's craft hobbies and ADHD/Tism happy place).
✨ Rewatching movies where you know the exact emotional arc (I have a go to set of movies I play in the background to ease my brain because I've watched them 100 times and there is a comfort in knowing what happens next, the new Superman movie has become a fast favourite here).
If you look close enough, these aren’t tasks... they’re regulation.
Your brain isn’t bored.
It’s anchored.
And anchored brains… can rest.
💡 Busy Brain Rule #4: Instead of trying to stop thinking, try redirecting
When your brain is sprinting.
You don’t wrestle it to the floor.
You redirect it gently.
Try asking yourself:
- “What’s one thought I can park for later?”
- “Is this useful or just noisy?”
- “What feeling is underneath this thought?”
You’d be shocked how much rest arrives simply from naming the unresolved thing. Busy brains aren’t trying to torture us they’re trying to process.
🕊️ Busy Brain Rule #5: Choose rest that fits your season
There’s “maintenance rest,” there’s “recovery rest,” and then there’s “if I don’t stop, I’m going to lie face-first on the floor” rest.
Not every week needs the same kind of rest.
Ask yourself:
- Do I need quiet?
- Do I need creativity?
- Do I need physical stillness?
- Do I need emotional space?
- Do I need to be around someone safe?
- Do I need to be totally alone?
Rest is not one size fits all.
Some weeks rest is solitude.
Some weeks rest is comfort noise.
Some weeks rest is a refusing to wear real pants.
All are valid.
✨ A gentle note from me to you
If resting is hard for you…
You are not broken.
You are not “bad at relaxing.”
You are not wired wrong.
You simply have a brain that runs hot...
and you’re learning how to cool it without putting out the fire completely.
Rest isn’t something you have to earn.
Rest is something you deserve because you exist.
If your brain is busy, creative, brilliant, chaotic, curious, or constantly generating ideas… you are not the problem.
But you do need rest designed for you.
And you’re allowed to find it... in your way, on your terms.
With softness (and the hope of a nap),
Ming
Pssst. Share this email with a friend who needs to hear it x
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