My daughters would ask me why my life’s goal was “to be a wife.” They thought the whole idea was ridiculous. But honestly that’s all I wanted to be: a good wife and a good mom.

I wanted the white picket fence, two girls, one boy and maybe a dog. We would all love God, and be so perfect and happy.

I was always so fascinated with my parents' love story. They dated in high school and got married young. My mom was nineteen and my dad was twenty-two.

So at eighteen, I was on my mission for Jesus to make “my dream” come true.

And a few months after I graduated high school, I caught the eye of my first husband.

He was “perfect”. 

He treated me nicely, paid for everything, and knew so much. 

Or maybe I saw what I wanted to see...

After about a year of dating, despite the warnings from others, I was getting married. 

I was going to have my “American Dream”.

And it didn’t take long to turn into an “American Nightmare”.

During our honeymoon, yes right after our wedding, my eyes were opened and I saw that my “perfect man” was really my “perfect mess”. 

In Chapter One, I unfold the beginning of my obsession with being a wife. 

You’ll see the foolishness I was willing to do and put up with to make my first marriage work.

You’ll also see what I suffered to make this dream come true while it became a horrible nightmare.

Most importantly, as you read the rest of the book you’ll also see how the redemptive love of God shows up in my life. But not before the emotional rollercoaster that led to God telling me “If you get back with him, everything you built with your daughters will be destroyed, and it will kill you.”

I’ll talk more about that in another email.

Until then, here’s a question for you?

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you missed warning signs God was sending you?