Oops, I Did It Again: A glimpse of chapter three.

Have you ever been in such a dark place that, no matter how many people try to help you, all they do is hit a brick wall?

Dying in a place that gives salvation, deliverance and hope, like sitting in the waiting room in the hospital dying. That’s where I was at the end of 1999, and the beginning of 2000.

For someone raised in the church, I never thought I would feel so dark within, so despairing.

I’d let my kids and myself down, as well as my church. All I felt was

hopelessness, and I kept thinking that I should just get back

together with their dad.

A friend even tried to remind me of what God had told me in 1992, while I was at work: that if I got back with him (their dad), all the work I’d built with the girls would be destroyed, and it would kill me.

I guess I pretended like I’d made that up, and so ignored the warning, just as I had that first time when marrying him. I even ignored my pastor’s warning not to get together with him again.

In this chapter we see what it costs me and my daughters, not believing what God told me. I had no idea that I would walk away from God and all the things I was taught and the church. 

And God’s redemptive love brought me back to Him and back to church. Still not completely trusting the God in me, I got a word from God that my next husband would be someone I knew.

So the hunt began. Then, in January of 2012, I wished an old friend “Happy birthday,” and somehow we ended up in a relationship. I was going to make sure I did it right this time.

Have you been in a place that should give your life dying and no one notices? Let’s talk about it.