Once upon a time, someone said to me, ‘You can’t be the teacher and the student at the same time.’ - it was a particularly low time in my business, and I was trying to find ‘my place’.

As a coach, it’s hard. I’ve coached many people, and a hard lesson to learn was that, as ‘their teacher', I was automatically excluded from ‘inner’ circles. The cliques. The networks, the WhatsApp groups. 

I felt I wasn’t welcome. 

At times, I felt like a little schoolgirl not being selected for a team, rejected, set apart, different. I convinced myself it didn’t matter, but it did. 

You see, I needed to be a student again in 2024; I needed healing. My business felt like sand through my fingers. 

Photo by freestocks.org

I made decisions that were rash through fear and panic, to my detriment, which only led to me feeling ostracised even more.

The great news, however, is that it wasn’t the people I thought would help me that helped. It was strangers. Strangers who purely accepted me as Becky.

Not Becky the coach,

Not Becky, the coaching supervisor

Just Becky. 

And I had NEVER felt acceptance like it. 48 years of age, and I realised what I had always been missing. Before then, I had no benchmark to go off. But now I do. 

Today, I will not settle for anything less than that pure acceptance. The pure honesty, vulnerability, and care that I was shown and given, and not once was I asked, ‘what do you do?’

People got to know me. 

Becky.

The fun, outspoken Becky, who cared deeply. 

From that moment on, something changed in me. I knew exactly what I needed and wanted, and it wasn’t what I had. 

Living in a vacuous world of bullshit social media and 60-second pitches at networks where they didn’t care, no matter how good the breakfasts were. 

I was carried away by the next big thing, only to find myself out of pocket and unfulfilled, and sat in rooms listening to the same thing just packaged up differently from another regurgitated ai script. 

So why am I telling you this? 

Well, I found my people. The people who say it how it is and are transparent AF. 

No guessing, no mind games, no hiding behind keyboards. 

If you have read this far, I thank you! I’m trusting you with me. 

At the age of 50 years and 6 months, I received the diagnosis last week of being AuDHD. 

Was I surprised? No. 

Has it made me rethink everything? Absolutely.

Because I am no longer ‘broken’, ‘obstructive’, ‘loud’, or ‘too emotional’, I am no longer ‘abhorrent’ in my behaviour or ‘mad’. What I was experiencing was another form of burnout. 

A meltdown.

A misunderstanding.

A miscommunication.

But worst of all was the loneliness. The disconnect and the confusion about what was wrong with me. 

So I taught myself to be the student. My teachers were incredible women who picked me up. Who accepted me 💯 and who never closed the door. 

Magnificent women.

Magnificent acceptance. 

I’ll introduce you to them in my next email. 

If you don’t want to be part of my inner world and know more about my healing journey, please feel free to unsubscribe. No hard feelings. 

If you are staying, thank you! I would love to know if any of this resonates with you.

Hit reply and let me know!

Sent with so much love

Becky xx