She told me she hated her school and didn't want to go back there, but I thought she was just being a spoilt brat who wanted to stay at home instead of being in a boarding school. Now I wished I listened to her."

We've heard confessions like this from many parents of children who were abused both in day schools and boarding schools and ended up in tragic situations.

The regret for these parents is usually that they wished they listened more or acted differently.

However, I'll tell you for free, that the real issues are beyond just listening, they are also the inability to recognise the tell-tale signs of what the children were going through and even worst not knowing how to help them trust you enough to tell you about it.

I know a story of a parent who stumbled on some things about her child recently that before her findings she could have vowed her child was incapable of. She believed her child hid nothing from her, but she was wrong.

Studies have shown that children undergo psychological changes as well as many other changes as they grow and that the experiences they encounter in their environment influence these changes.

'Escape and Avoidance' is a coping mechanism that preteens and teenagers employ when they encounter setbacks without the right support, they become quiet, stressed, traumatized, and may become depressed eventually.

Sadly it is a gradual process and it begins psychologically before it manifests physically.

Now the question is, "What are you doing to ensure that you stay abreast with these changes and setbacks they go through, and how do you ensure that they keep trusting you?

📌 Do you help them deal with setbacks immediately?

📌 Do you judge them when they make mistakes?

📌 Oh, you are one of those " abegi..., did anyone do these things for us? Did we not turn out well?" people🤣 and you don't even know you should help them deal with these things.🙆‍♀️

Dear parent, the setbacks we don't address are like cancer cells, they don't go away, they spread and keep spreading until they destroy everything.

We know this and more and that is why I and my team of professionals have put together an amazing 7 days retreat to work with a few parents who are purposeful about helping their kids move from setbacks to success.

If you are that parent, then join me and other parents who are set to go on this journey and I promise you, you'll be glad you did.

See details in the comment section to register.

https://selar.co/hpcl

Marybeth Chima

Educator & Parent Coach

The MentorMum.