Our 13 year old son has struggled with time management and execution for some time and I'm not even going to pretend that it is funny.
I'm a proponent of raising children with the right support and guidance , and learning the right time to step back and let them self direct. So,for me consolidation at every phase is important.
Hence when he turned 8 we stepped back and allowed him take responsibility with minimal support in his academics and learning - homework , studies , research, school presentation rehearsals, projects etc .And this was a success in no time .
When he turned 11 we took some more steps backwards allowing him decide the hobbies and interests he wanted to hone/continue to hone. This also wasn't a big struggle.
After that we stepped back with self and home management , so he gets to manage his time to achieve things like - making and packing meals for school , creating his routines , study schedules, doing his chores, and we noticed the challenges began to show up.
The challenge wasn't doing these things, the real challenge was being able to direct himself , manage his time and achieve what needs to be done.
The challenge on our part as parents , especially for me who spends the most time with him was to stay calm through his learning process , encouraging him and observing empathetic consequences. A feat that is doable but not easy at all.
As I reflected at the beginning of this year , I found out that his time management skill although he keeps making process has become my BIGGEST anger trigger, and even with all the KNOWLEDE I have I was beginning to approach this wrongly.
Determined to preserve our connection and set him up for success without "saving " him ( as is common with mothers and their boy child ) I decided to help him by working on ME again.
I enrolled for coach Wendy's Emotional Intelligence Course and read "Connect to Correct", "The Discipline That Works" and "From Yelling to Calm" in a row.
And then we used the Mastermind Tools and Accountability System as a strategy for accountability and his businesses and chores as practice tools for him.
We didn't leave it there o, I called up one of his Mentors and had a conversation on this so it became their focus skill.
Aww...so I walked into his room the other day and saw the screen on the computer where he had set timers for various activities , he was in the bathroom and the timer was for 10minutes... I smiled, and walked away knowing that we are making progress 💃🏻.
Dear Parent, consolidation is when the child takes all they've been learning from school, teachers, religious places, coaches, etc, and applies these on their own to self-direct and navigate the world effectively.
This is what we are about at the Mastermind, Circle, a place where your child (6-14) needs to be to excel in ALL dimensions of education. See the link below to enrol into the circle.
However, our role is incomplete until you realize your role as a parent. If you want to help a child, work on you FIRST.
Marybeth Chima
Parenting Support Coach
Matron MMC
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