When you find a child who presents a negative behaviour especially one done on impulse one of three things should come to mind ;

🔴 The child has learnt this behaviour from their experinces and environment (the home being the biggest culprit)

🔴 This child lacks the requisite skill to deal with the situation and if this is something that keeps reoccurring then the child needs help.

🔴 The child is either dealing with parents who aren't available or parents who haven't found the right method to help the child.

Truth is ,there is a piece of a parent/ primary care giver in every child's action and it shows up as modelling, negligence or ignorance.

🔵 As modelling: When the child reflects some part of who their parent/caregiver is ( remember kids see)

🔵 As negligence: When the parents aren't present at the most crucial phase of the child's life (0-7) or aren't available to teach, and nip these behaviour in the bud before it becomes a problem.

🔵 As ignorance : When parents havn't got the right understanding of the real challenge or are dealing with the issue in the wrong way.

I know, I know, the child had it coming and should be given a brain reset with a slap😁

However, slaps only present quick fixes, and would only be war-ing with a child when it comes from an adult ( not the best approach I promise you)

Children need help from EVERY adult, not war. 

Don't look at me with 'bad eye' biko, we don't vilify children, and monsters are raised , not born. Make una no vex

In the case of a bully, should the bullied child push back and refuse to be intimidated? 

Oh yes with the right skills. That's how an empowered child helps a Bully. By refusing to cower or be bullied .

Dear parents, everytime you find a child with a reoccurring negative behaviour , what they need is modelling, understanding and most importantly your HELP. 

Seek help from experts if you have tried what you know and it isn't working.

Cheers 

Oya let's go and eat Sunday jollof.

Marybeth Chima

The Mentormum.