I don't know who needs to hear this, but that child will come round eventually if only you can wait a little more. 

For a long time, I wondered when our son will come round to taking care of his affairs without direction.

I wondered when he would:

👉🏿return everything in his pencil case. school 

👉🏿clean his room 

👉🏿Mop the floor properly after using the bathroom.

👉🏿wake up on his own

👉🏿take responsibility for his chores and other commitments.

👉🏿study on his own

👉🏿do the dishes after eating.

👉🏿cook simple meals.

👉🏿prepare things the night before, school/ other events 

👉🏿resolve conflicts with his siblings and others.

And this list goes on...

A familiar list right?

We instructed him, used reminders and got upset many times when he didn't show signs of learning.

He got scolded and even beaten for not conforming in some cases.

 Then I said to myself one day, there has to be a better way to get results without the chaos, and so I gained some sense and started seeking superior knowledge through reading books, taking courses and connecting with those who empowered and challenged me in this area 

And one day I got a Rhema..." why don't you focus on the things he does well, praise the effort in that area and boost his esteem with that, then use this to remind him that he can achieve everywhere else if he puts his mind to it.

So we expanded the strategy, got more tools and went to work...

Hmm, it was tough at first! 

Sometimes we got too expectant and failed in the "waiting room", but I reminded myself to stay focused on the goal.

Let me share a little about the "waiting room" and the strategies we used which we are sharing with the parents in our Mentor Parents 100% Support Program. (Our subscription program, send us a message or chat on 08130621566 to know more about how to join us).

The waiting room is where most of us fail in our parenting. It is that place where after you've taught a child a skill, you can wait calmly - reminding, using prompts, praises, shaping, positive opposites, reinforcement, simulation and other strategies to help the child change behaviour and achieve mastery and it needs time.

It takes knowledge, emotional intelligence, discipline, consistency and support to master this room.

Today, we have gladly checked all these boxes of all the things I worried about, and ¾, yes, 3 out of 4 times our son is more likely to get it right, than wrong. 

We review our journey every now and then and this is great for our process!

We are still a work in progress and will always be, but today we wait in peace in our waiting room, growing deeper in our connection, creating great memories and winning together!!!

So I ask you today, how are you in your "Waiting Room?"

Selah

Have a great week ahead.

Marybeth Chima

Educator & Parent Coach 

The MentorMum

#mbinspires