"Oh well, I just prefer to sit down there." 

This was our son's response when I asked him why he would rather sit in the area of church reserved for nursing parents and people who are late and can't get seats in the Chapel.

The conversation started when I asked the children what lessons they got from the sermon of the day, and his response was ," I actually didn't hear a thing of what was said from where I was sitting ." 

"Where were you sitting?His dad asked

Of course you know what his response was, and then the commanding tone followed from Hus-boo, "I don't want to..."

Then he realised, no need for that.

So, I said to our son, why do you keep sitting there? 

If you don't get the benefit for which you go to church each time you sit in a place, why then do you repeat the same thing?

While they were both focus on 'location' I could see what the real issue was; Adolescence!

The need to show he is an individual, and the feeling of being old enough to make his own choices. What better place to start than to oppose some of those daddy and mummy preferences.😃

So we said to him;

👉 Where is the designated area where you are authorised to sit❓

👉 Does sitting in that place allow you participate and get the full benefit of being in church ❓

👉 Is it more comfortable to sit there❓

👉 Does sitting down there draw a positive or unnecessary attention to you❓

Dear parents a time will come when your little sweethearts will not be so little anymore, they will insist on somethings you know are 'rubbish'😄, they will get upset unnecessarily and this will set your triggers up. 

Calm down... it is all a part of growing up, and a test of how equipped you are as a parent.

Trust me this is the time ekwensu (aka the devil) and the ones you call 'your village people' are out for you and your child's connection and their PURPOSE. 

This is what will make or mar them. 

❌ All that "I'm the boss and you do as I said" is how they start fanning you. You are no doubt their parent and they know that already. 

✅Teach them to think their choices through and make their decisions from the feedback of their reflection or introspection . 

✅ Allow them make decisions and give them two choices to choose from when they insist on certain things . It still gives them some sense of self direction.

✅ Allow them fail sometimes ,and analyse the process with them afterwards so they can see their mistakes and self correct.

Dear parents, these are some important ways to teach children how to make informed decisions and self direct.

These simple skills will govern most of what their future would be and their ability to prioritise and focus on purpose.

Las Las...we are products of our choices - the actions and inactions behind those choices. 

I salute you 

It's a new week, chin up parents , let's move...

Have a great week ahead.

Marybeth Chima

Educator & Parent Coach 

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