" I'm not going to school tomorrow mum, remember I have a competition. 

Please can you call the front desk manager at school to let them know I won't come in the morning, but maybe later if the competition ends on time?" 

This was my 12-year-old last Friday.

"Oh wow, good thing you remembered and have it all planned out, I will call them ," I said in response.

You see conversations like this, happen mostly in two cases.

👉🏿 When the child loves and is looking forward to an event or activity. ( in most cases a party, outing, sports event or something they love to do )

👉🏿 When the child has been trained to be self-reliant and initiate tasks independently.

Now before the last quarter of 2021 (and even a few times now) our son would only do this for the first reason above ( because it's something fun), and not sweat it in many other cases, because like many other kids he would rather depend on others

Howeverr, after he turned 10, we decided that self-direction and thinking independently was a goal and so we went to work- modelling, teaching, using prompts, simulation, creating practice opportunities, etc. 

We allowed room for mistakes, correction , made room for self-correction and tried to stay calm in the waiting room ( which was the toughest part and we failed sometimes 😥 but we dusted and continued).

It took many months for him to start initiating tasks , then more to stay focused on the task to the end and to constantly connect previous experiences to new ones( a journey that is still on.)

However, he's made great progress. 🙌🏼

👉🏿I like that we/he can cook, clean up, do the laundry without having to drag him.

👉🏿 I like that he can iron and prepare all he and his sister need for school for a whole week on Saturday.

👉🏿 I like that he can study all by himself and support his sister while I attend a meeting.

👉🏿 I like that I can come to a clean kitchen after taking off to answer a call from a client.

👉🏿 I like that he honours family traditions and can plan a whole birthday or event on his own.

👉🏿 I like that he can lead a group of children with or without my input.

👉🏿 I like that he's thinking, serving, impacting, growing and evolving because he WANTS to, not because we force him to.

Dear friends, we have learnt to commit to;

💜Trusting God.

❤Taking up our role as teachers/models/guides.

💚Learning.

🧡Paying for the knowledge needed.

💙Hardwork and honouring the process.

Children should be taught and allowed to self direct, the earlier we start, the better for them.

Mastery, confidence, self-esteem habits and a wholesome child will develop over time.

The best time to start teaching is NOW! 

P.S: Have you joined my birthday give away Master Class yet? Let's show you how to get your child to self direct. See registration details

You can register online here

https://selar.co/61i8

Or pay offline to

Nkambi Chima

Zenith Bank

2005399314

And send proof to 08130621566.

Marybeth Chima

The MentorMum.