Read how a good prof saved me back in college.

"Come here young lady, did you say you are in this department, what level?"

"Oh, yes sir, 300Level sir "

This was a conversation between my level coordinator Prof. Agina and me one beautiful day back at the university.

Come to my office, he said calmly.

A few minutes later he was looking at what seemed like a book of records (which reminded me of what we learn in children's church about the ' book of life)

Moments later he was staring at me in confusion and he said, "You started with a great GPA in 100Level, what happened to you in the 1st Semester of 200L and why did you miss most of your practical classes that semester?

With my face down I said to him, " I lost my dad and I was away for some time and spent some more time grieving after I got back. I didn't have the strength to do anything.

" And why didn't you report this to the department or you didn't think the practicals you missed were a huge part of your assessment as a botany major ?"

"How do you expect to pass a course in chemistry, microbiology and botany by missing these number of practical classes" he said pointing at his record.

"Yes, sir, I didn't think about all that at the time."

All of a sudden it dawned on me, that losing my dad wasn't the only thing that happened to me that semester, I lost focus and this is costing me my desired outcome in college. So I broke down in tears ( I think I got some closure that day)

On our next meeting, he broke down my academic position and told me in clear terms that I couldn't afford to get anything below a 'C' grade in any of my courses henceforth.

Plus I needed to clear existing carry-overs that semester and plan on getting an 'A' on my research project if I wanted to leave school without an extra year and with a good result ( a gentleman's result at least )

To cut a long story short, this God-sent father figure held me accountable from that day and like a hungry lion, I plunged into action, and made every minute I had in that school after that day count.

What is the point of this story?

So many times we take for granted the effect of the things that our children go through and like us we assume they'll bounce back, just because we see them running around.

Trauma can come in many forms, it is real and can affect their general performance.

In many cases, they need help and may not even know they do. This is where you come in as a parent, and why you need the help of professionals who know how to deal with these issues effectively.

I will be going on a journey with my child to bounce back " From Setback to Success." Something that could have changed the trajectory for me back then if I had the " parenting advantage" that year I lost my father.

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Marybeth Chima

Educator & Parent Coach

The MentorMum.