Hi friend,

It's been a while since I last wrote. I'm not opening with an apology this time.

Living with chronic illness means some seasons I'm writing, and some seasons I'm resting. This was a resting season. Now I'm back.

So let me start with a song. Or two.

Independent Women. Miss Independent. Music has a quiet way of getting under our skin. We sing along without noticing what we're agreeing to. And one of the things many of us agreed to is this: independence is the goal.

It didn't stop at music. Speakers on big stages talk about financial freedom and financial independence. We get a job to be independent. We move out to be independent.

And I agreed. I still do, partly.

I have always wanted financial independence. First, because bills need to be paid. Second, because we live in a capitalist society, and that is the game. At every stage of my life, I have wanted to be free.

Then a question stopped me.

Free from what?

Adulting is not a scam. But I've noticed that for most of our lives, we have outsourced a great deal of ourselves. To parents. To systems. To government. To doctors. To communities. To the village.

Sometimes that was necessary. Often we didn't even notice we were doing it.

Learning to advocate for myself taught me something independence never did. I didn't just need to stand on my own. I needed a code for living.

After years of researching and deliberating, I built one. I call it The Autonomy Code.

I'm getting back into the habit of sharing my work, and in my next email I'll show you what's inside it.

Until then, sit with the question for a moment.

Free from what?

DK