Workplace Multiplier by Tola Akinsulire

Tuesday Edition: February 4, 2025

Welcome to the Workplace Multiplier newsletter. Published every Tuesday & Friday, we discover something crucial to help us on the way to winning at work and in life.

Self-Coaching: Your Secret Weapon Against Career Confidence Killers

The Hidden Cost of Self-Doubt

According to a study by Korn Ferry, 71% of U.S. CEOs experience symptoms of imposter syndrome in their role.

OK, you might be saying “What did you expect? It’s lonely at the top.”

Well, that isn’t the end of the rodeo.

Research shows that imposter syndrome negatively impacts work performance for 32% of employees. Additionally, individuals suffering from imposter syndrome take, on average, one extra day off work annually due to stress and anxiety.

Why the 32% might be getting the short end of the stick, the rest of the 68% are not all covered in glory.

Why?

This impostor syndrome stops many from putting themselves forward for the next big opportunity in their careers.

A KPMG study found that 75% of female executives across industries have experienced imposter syndrome in their careers. Women are also 45% more likely than men to experience imposter syndrome-related feelings daily.

Why This Hits Home

As the preacher would say, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to…”

We are here today to make sure you don’t fall for the impostor syndrome.

What’s my qualification to do this?

I got a pass from the school of hard knocks. In simple terms, been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.

I faced its worst working under a toxic boss. Every day felt like walking through quicksand, with my self-confidence attacked with each critical comment or dismissive gesture.

I was that person constantly hearing more about what was wrong and less about what was right. My toxic boss was doing a number on my self-confidence. But I fought back using what became my secret weapon – self-coaching.

I would paraphrase this Bible verse to myself every time: "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." Of course, I was also writing in a notebook anything I was told to correct... just to make sure I didn't forget it next time.

The Self-Coaching Revolution 

But here's the interesting part – I didn't wait for someone to come rescue me. I became my own coach. You see, waiting for external validation or coaching can sometimes be a form of giving away your power.

Don't get me wrong – mentors and coaches are invaluable. But your primary coach should be looking back at you in the mirror every morning.

The Champion's Secret

Think about it. Most sports champions have coaches, but they spend more time coaching themselves through gruelling practice sessions and challenging matches than their coaches spend with them.

The coach provides direction, but self-coaching drives execution.

Here's what I learned about powerful self-coaching:

1.    Create Your Personal Board of Directors: Rather than having one voice in your head (usually the critical one), develop multiple perspectives. I created different roles in my mind – the Strategist who analyzed situations objectively, the Cheerleader who celebrated small wins, and the Mentor who asked tough but necessary questions. When my toxic boss criticized my work, I would let my internal board convene and provide balanced perspectives.

2.    Document Your Wins: During that challenging period, I started what I call a "Progress Journal." The things I was told to correct told me that I was making progress because I would not repeat them. This practice helped me maintain perspective when the toxic environment threatened to distort my self-image.

3.    Master the Art of Self-Talk: Most people practice negative self-talk without realizing it. Let me share a simple but effective technique – the "But what's also true?" method. When negative thoughts come ("I messed up that presentation"), you should add "But what's also true?" ("But what's also true is that you identified the weakness and know exactly how to improve next time").

When Self-Coaching Meets Real Challenge

Let me share something that happened during my toxic boss experience. Once, after a particularly harsh criticism session, during which my boss said, “I am taking the project you are working on from you and giving it to so and so in the team.” No reason or explanation – the weather forecast must have been very bad that day.

I calmly walked out of the office. A few minutes later, I walked back in, marched into my boss's office, and calmly said, "I am not handing over the project. I am going to continue running the project."

Where did that confidence come from? My self-coaching practice had built up my internal resilience to the point where I could stand firm in my capabilities. I ran that project and completed it at a good profit for the company.

Your Self-Coaching Action Plan

Ready to start your self-coaching journey? Here's your 3-step action plan:

1.    Start Your Daily Power Hour: Spend 10 minutes each morning writing down your intentions for the day, potential challenges, and how you'll handle them. This isn't just planning – it's coaching yourself through the day ahead.

2.    Create Your Victory Log: Document your daily wins, no matter how small. Weekly, review these wins and identify patterns of success. Monthly, use these patterns to adjust your approach and set new challenges.

3.    Practice Perspective Shifts: When faced with a challenging situation, consciously shift through different perspectives – what would your ideal mentor say? Your future self? Your most confident colleague? This builds your internal coaching voices.

Remember, the most important conversations you'll ever have are the ones you have with yourself. Make them count.

Your self-coaching practice isn't just about surviving tough times – it's about thriving despite them.

You can win at work and in life.

Tola Akinsulire

I am a Workplace Multiplier

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Want to get in on some of the lessons I have picked up in my career? Get my eBook "21 Lessons I Learned in My Career - A Primer to Help You Become Better at Work". Get it here

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