Where it all starts for Mid-Life Adults.

Gathering of friends, a wedding function at a native town, an old school alumni meet, or bumping into distant relatives and cousins you grew up with.

Whatever the event, the moment we end up meeting people, especially from the phase of life when we just started to get to know the world around us, our mind has a tendency to automatically jump into a comparison mode, we immediately judge them VS us against all the vague odd goals and descriptions in your head about who we thought we are in comparison to them.

Phew! Feeling the emotional exhaustion?

And then the comparison take shape with our own beliefs meeting reality; most of whom you thought would land nowhere, you now find them as CEO's of MNC's, high-ranking officials in some agency, that distant cousin who would flunk all possible exams is now a founder of a tech startup, a subordinate who once worked underneath you is leading a global enterprise, or a colleague who you considered to be an average performer, whom you may have once recommended or groomed to the next level, you now find them flaunting fancy titles and flashy cars.

You silently observe and quietly compare.

A subtle memory crops up, bringing with it many emotions, and you feel overwhelmed.

You cannot name the emotion, but from nowhere you feel a deep sense of shame.

Why Shame?

You don't know the actual reason, and, unaware of it, you start to avoid your connections and start seeking more and more solace in solitude. During your alone time, you are constantly comparing your life to all of your schoolmates, college mates, siblings, cousins and colleagues, and each time you do so, you find yourself left behind and more miserable.

Shame is a self-conscious emotion that arises when a person feels deeply flawed, unworthy, or exposed in the eyes of others or themselves.

And comparison often leaves most of us in this state.

Once shame has hijacked your emotional mind, you enter the self-pity phase, where all your past achievements, struggles and resiliency get into a pause mode, and the inner critic is now ruling you, coming up with all possible reasons to blame you, and the punishment is brutal.

You end up at the lowest point of self-worth and an inferior sense of self.

What are you missing?

You show up at work with a good appearance and a confident pose, while the inner turmoil is breaking you, and it's very, very obvious in your body language, vibes, and approach to life.

You remain oblivious to how people perceive you, and you continue with your behaviour and approach to finding solutions, the way you've always been.

You are not aware of what you are projecting to the external world, the impact of your behaviour towards people who work closely with you, both at home and office, and therefore, missing a key link to the rigmarole you are caught in.

As time passes by, things are no different; you and your loved ones in the family are a few more years older, but the problems? They have turned more complex with each layer of time!

You ask yourself, Is something wrong with me?

You conclude without any supporting facts that it's all your fault and that you are not enough and not worthy.

Before you move ahead and seal this belief, I would like you to -S.T.O.P

Take a deep breath and

Ask Yourself: Is this True? Are there at least a minimum of 1-2 facts and evidence that support your belief?

I leave you with this one question for now. Think hard!

If you feel ready to understand yourself at a deeper level, let's have a conversation.

No pressure. Just clarity.→ Book your free 60-minute Clarity Call

Warmly,

Mehnaz Amjad.

Clarity Coach for Emotionally Exhausted Midlife Adults | From Mental Chaos to Inner Direction.

Stay tuned; in our next post, we will deep dive and explore more.