Hey!

I like the concept of having a word of the year. For the past couple of years, I've tried "discipline" and "intentionality". I still like those words because I want to be intentional about the things I spend my time on, and I feel like my worst ruts result from periods where I'm undisciplined.

But I realized the most important thing for me to work on is following through.

I've noticed that my word doesn't mean a lot in relationships with others and myself.

I've had family and friends explicitly tell me that they don't believe me when I say I'll do something.

My coworkers have become accustomed to me not finishing things when I said I would.

But possibly worst of all is I have internalized this narrative to the point where I think it's fine that I don't follow through on my own goals.

This is likely because I don't view things as "that serious". As someone who lives a pretty comfortable life, there are rarely decisions or actions that will have negative consequences if not done with haste. That has generally also played in my career. The stakes of me underperforming were never going to sink the company.

Maybe that's an indicator that I'm playing it small and not putting myself in areas of impact.

Don't get me wrong, I think I provide value in my work and relationships. But I no longer want to be seen as someone who can't be trusted or taken at their word.

I see three ways I can improve:

1. Saying No

Saying no to ideas, projects, and commitments from the start will reduce the number of things I don't deliver on.

Many people struggle with this because they don't want to disappoint someone else. I believe I struggle with this because I want to do everything.

I embrace being a polymath, so everything is an apparent opportunity to learn. But if I don't end up delivering, did I really learn? (No action was taken...heh)

I can give you a reason that each of my 30 Chrome tabs should remain open. I hate the idea of closing a line of thought. But I'm lying to myself when I say that I'll get to it later.

I need to close things out by noting them down and have faith that the most important things will resurface.

2. Underpromising

It'd be better if I underestimated my timelines so that anything earlier would be seen as a plus.

This is easier said than done because I definitely follow Parkinson's Law and hustle to finish things at the last minute or when it's absolutely necessary. (The best way to get me to do something is to ask me to do it, and if I don't do it, say you'll do it yourself.)

So I could say I need a month to finish it, but if I start two days before that, I might still not deliver in time. But underpromising gives me more time to take action and also gives that person a chance to find another way to do it - freeing me from more commitments.

3. Accountability and Reminders

I've tried to have other people hold me accountable before, but haven't had much success (both because they forget to do it plus I'm a bad partner back to them).

The one habit I know will have the biggest impact on my life - but I can't bring myself to consistently do - is a daily standup and weekly review.

I rarely ever put thought into what I want to accomplish each day. I just go with the flow and hope that I get the most important things done.

A daily review is more about "intentionality", but it goes back to the fact that I've said I will start a weekly routine for years but have never done it.

Being consistent with writing and publishing this newsletter is the best way that I can stay consistent in making sure I'm progressing in my work and learning.

Anyways... this was really a proclamation and brainstorm. I want you to know the things I'm struggling with.

I will follow up with more concrete goals I'm taking to be true to my word.

If you don't see me in your inbox next week, I hope you'll call me out and not just think it's "usual".

Much love,

Aswin