“Exploring life through fiction, together.”

[I would like to apologise for missing last week. I could say it was the business of Holy Week, but in reality, I had everything written and forgot to hit send. We got there in the end, and you'll get the next email in a fortnight.]

Imagine you just screwed up. A gut twisting, palms sweating kind of fuck-up. Now close your eyes and listen.

If you’re like me, a committee springs into action inside your brain. Their familiar tones criticise and chastise. They tear a new one, and they don't wait for an invitation.

But when I’m there, heaped on the kitchen floor, other voices appear. They cheer me on and remind me of how far I’ve come. They sit beside me and whisper comfort. They help me stand up and brush off the dust.

Fiction Bite - That new house sound

He pushed open the door, his door now. An airy corridor loomed ahead.

"Why'd you buy such a big place?" said his mum over his shoulder.

"How the hell did you afford it?" said Dad.

"What else should I spend the money on?" he replied.

"Exactly, here you are all on your own and you go buy some lord of the manor monstrosity."

"Lay off him Barbara," said Dad, "boy’s got to hide his loneliness somewhere. At least he's not lumbered with a snarky wife."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

God, even in his imagination, his parents couldn't manage a handful of sentences without fighting.

"Nice place," Dave from college, "perks of being a sellout?"

"See, Mum," he said, "with all you bastards in my head, I need a house this big just to have room to think."

Quote of the Week

“But it was in this moment, lying in bed late at night, that I first realized that the voice in my head—the running commentary that had dominated my field of consciousness since I could remember—was kind of an asshole.” — Dan Harris

Book of the month

The Thing Around Your Neck by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Final Words

I worry about what kind of voice I am in the heads of my friends and family. I’m far from perfect. It’s easier for me to criticise and condemn than build up and comfort. Worse, I have no control over which messages they latch onto. How many times have I said ‘Just a minute’ or ‘I’m too busy now’? How many more times until a voice in their head says it without me needing to?

What voices do you hear the most? Which ones do you need to amplify and which do you need to ignore? And what messages would you want to plant in your loved one’s heads?

Would you be willing to hit reply? It’d make my day to hear from you.

With Love,

Josiah

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