“Exploring life through fiction, together.”

[Frequency change - We’re moving to fortnightly emails as a trial. Expect the next one on 21st Jan.

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I was planning to quit writing after Christmas. I was drowning with no sight of shore and jettisoning this seemed the safest option. Who would really care if it went away? Me, it turns out. A lot more than I realised. But something still had to go.

Fiction Bite - Goodbye is hard for me too

My head throbs. No, that doesn’t do it justice. My head pounds with the full force of a winter storm. A diabolical blacksmith beats my brain against the anvil of my skull. You get the idea.

I’m at work, not by choice. They subtract sick days from holiday allowance, legal right or not. So I’m in the stuffy conference room, under the fluorescents with the blinking tube that maintenance still hadn’t fixed even though I’ve submitted a dozen requests. Our client’s talking. The Client. Mr Sugar Daddy. I scrunch to pull words from the noise that wafts past me.

“Long term cost projections.”

“Trusted suppliers.”

“We know you’ll be disappointed.”

They’re chucking us. Ten years of my life sucking up to Dave and his smarmy ties. I stand. Well, I try, stumble, and succeed the second time. Dave walks over and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“If it was up to me, we’d stay.”

“If it was up to me,” I say, putting my hand on his, “I’d have ditched you years ago.”

Ha, that wiped the plastic smile off his too smooth face. I stride out with a grin and leave my boss to clean that shit up. I’m taking a sick day.

Quote of the Week

“We hear the refrain “I’m great, just busy” so often we assume pathological busyness is okay. After all, everybody else is busy too. But what if busyness isn’t healthy? What if it’s an airborne contagion, wreaking havoc on our collective soul?”― John Mark Comer, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

Book of the month

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World  by John Mark Comer

I was drowning under the weight of my overstuffed life when this book dropped through my letterbox, courtesy of my amazing friend Zoë (you rock!). It changed my life. Ok, maybe it’s too soon to say that, but it’s changed my month-and-a-half since I read it. Comer’s an ex-megachurch pastor who came to the slow life the hard way. With quotations from Fight Club to The Stoics, and plenty of Jesus, he convinced me that the good life is lived far slower than our modern pace. I reckon it’s great even if you’re non-religious/christian, and if you’re on the Jesus Train, it’s brilliant.

Final Words

I expected to hit new challenges as I aged. Instead, I keep being floored by the same things. Over and over, my ambition eats the joy out of my days. Over and over, I measure my insides to others (heavily curated) outsides. Over and over, I hurry to my death, forgetting that I can choose to live right now in this moment, and again in the next.

So here I am, learning the same lesson again. Maybe I've got it this time, but I don't think so.

But for now, I've stepped out of the riptide.

I’ve refocused on what matters to me.

And I'm trying to spend each moment fully.

Thank you for spending this one with me.

Do you keep hitting the same lessons over again? Are you due a reminder or are you living them? Would you be willing to hit reply and let me know? It’d make my day to hear from you.

With Love,

Josiah

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